A Walk Is More Than A Walk.

While I was doing my walk yesterday, I noticed a caterpillar rushing down the sidewalk. I knew he was rushing because he kept tripping over his feet. This is almost Oct. and this guy is still wandering around. That must have been some party. He still thinks he is a teenager and is missing the best part. Hurry along buddy, your pals are in Florida waiting at the pool.

For me, this was not an ordinary walk. Something else attracted my attention and it just blew me away. One house had a garage door open. The inside was shocking. There was a place for everything and everything was in its place. Hung on the walls or stacked. I can't remember when I saw a garage in such orderly condition. And the biggest suprise shall remain with me for a long time. That person could actually drive his car into the garage.

Most yards are neat and tidy but every once in awhile you run across one that appears like the garbage man dropped off a load rather than picked it up. The exterior of the house has seen better days and the front and back yards have seen too many days. You may wonder if the interior of the house is any reflection of the outside? From my experience, it is like a virus that spreads from room to room. Perhaps it starts in their head.

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♫ Yipee aye ki ya ♫ Git along little dogie ♫

♫ Yipee aye ki ya ♫ Git along little dogie ♫ I want to get back for that big plate of beans. ♫
As often as not, beans remind me of cowboys, chuck wagons and the wild west. Rushing back after a hard day on the range for a plate of beans. I guess it also reminds me of gas. That wouldn't be the kind you use in your car. You know, I don't recall ever seeing beans on a restaurant menu. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Maybe I just don't notice it on the menu or I haven't been in the right restaurant. That brings up the question of what price they would charge for a plate of beans.
Although used in its basic form, beans as a meal has also been moderinized. With a simple addition, you can now enjoy weiners and beans. I also notice that beans have other qualities. They appear to be very good at clearing the room, clearing your sinuses and choking you to death.

Banking For Students

I suppose that you are with me thinking that this generation is the most tech savvy so far. That's what I thought until I read this article. "Bank sites could be more student friendly."  Personally, I never thought that bank sites were a problem. By the way, we are talking about are university students. So I decided to give this some thought. I believe we think they are tech savvy because they have an Ipod or Blackberry in their hand. This is not a big deal. You have to look at them as an upgrade of the transistor radio. All they do is type. And on top of that, they type bad English.
Back to the bank sites. Obviously the banks are unaware of the importance of the McDonalds Happy Face Meal. Although unsoliciated, I will give them some advice on making their sites more student friendly. First of all, you must make much more use of pictures. How can you expect them to read English when they can't spell it. (Actually, bad English was one of their suggestions.)
Instructions.
1. To check your account, click on Barney.
2. To check messages, click on Moo Moo Cow.
3. To pay bills, go to Help Dad.
4. To make a new account, ask Grandmother for help. Because this is grown up stuff.

The Nova Scotia Walk Of Fame.

Saw this headline last week. "Latest hurricane to touch down in Halifax." OMG I thought. Well I didn't really think OMG, I thought."Oh My God." I suppose you are Twitter savvy enough to know that. So Hurricane Igor is headed this way. I thought for sure it was way out to sea. So now I will have to batten the hatches and hunker down. Which brings up an old Air Force saying. "Haste Makes Waste." I wasted my time because I rushed over the headline and didn't read at least some of the article. Being better late than never, it turned out that the article was about a football team blowing into town to play one of our University teams. Without Igor, our team was still blown away. May you rest in peace Igor.

I've heard lately about "Walk of Fame." How about a Nova Scotia Walk of Fame?  I think the first inductee should be the Pit Pony. He was a famous star, probably no longer with us. They could make an impression of  pony shoes. Then there could be an outline of a heart and on the other side the hand prints of Ellen Page. They were in the same series together. Not to take anything from Ellen Page. I know she deserves a spot all her own, but I don't think she would mind sharing it with the pony. They would have the first spot, ahead of
Anne Murry. Then I thought about others. Dutchie Mason came to mind. He used to rent across the street from me and that made me wonder how long it took to repair the holes in the walls after he left? And then there are the Trailer Park Boys. For them, instead of hand prints, I would like to see mouth impressions in the cement. That way, every time the cement had to be washed, you could wash their mouths out with soap.

Corruption Is Not A Bad Thing, Just Don't Call It Pork

The Afghan election. Counting takes awhile and the possibility that results will be in this year are good. If you have paid any attention at all, you can't help but notice the voter ballot. It would give our daily newspaper a run for its money. For that election, paper for ballots is a major expense. Photos of all candidates are on ballots because a large number of people can't read. They vote on their photo. It sounds like police mugshots, doesn't it? So picking out a candidate from a sheet of men with turbins and black beards should be easy. Picking out a woman might be more difficult but they are used to faceless women.
I am under the assumption that the white man likes to see these people vote because it gives them a warm and fuzzy feeling. "I stuck in my nose and pulled out a democracy, oh what a good boy am I." If Jesus walked these 'streets', he wouldn't find much difference from 2000 yrs. ago. Democracy? Most have no idea what they are doing. "I'll vote for him, he let me ride his donkey last week. Are you sure that's his picture? I thought he had more grey hair."
They do have a start on democracy. We won't have to teach them a darn thing about corruption. Corruption is ok. But don't call it pork. That's against their religion.

A Conversation In Every Glass

There'a a story in every bottle, a conversation in every glass. This is a sentence that makes you go warm and fuzzy all over. Or is it a way of saying that you talk too much when you get drunk? After a few more bottles, you do get a lot more fuzzier.
I have read that they now have a nasal spray to cure shyness. Personally I've noticed that a few stiff drinks will cure that. At least for one night.
What can start out as a polite and civil conversation can end up as tongues flapping in the breeze. I suppose you have also noticed that all the tongues flap at the same time. And the only way to be heard is to flap louder and longer. A quite dangerous place for flies to be. Tongue flapping is associated with tongue wagging. I am sure that tongue wagging has a lot to do with the conversation in every glass. We are all aware that one thing leads to another. Tongue wagging, I am sure is the major cause of bar room fights. Polite talk accompnied by a miscued sentence can give you a new view of the swinging doors. But for now, you have learned your lesson and a week from now you will probably do the same thing again. In which case, learning from experience is not your thing.

Simple Rules For Simple People

Went for my two mile walk this morning. In and around sub-divisions, you make mental notes about what you see. We have a school at one end of the street and a pizza place at the other end. And the two do come together, mostly on peoples lawns. There is a very distinct indication when the school year is in. Litter on all the lawns. Fries, pizzas and large soft drink containers. What do I get from all that crap. A picture of diabetes on the move. And a large percentage of the students are well on the way.
Last Monday was garbage pick-up day. So according to Hoyle, there should be no refuse on the sidewalks. That works well when you think about it, but not too well in actual practice. If there is a way to screw this up, people will. There is the "I am important, special attention person." They put their stuff out after the truck has gone by. There it sits, waiting for the bylaw police to wander by and give them a ticket. A ticket that will be complained about and then paid.
Then there are the people who put stuff out any which way and loose. We have simple rules for apparently simple people. But even simple rules are sometime not simple enough.