Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Great White North

In my last entry, I picked on our Prime Minister. I decided not to do that again but the next day, when I saw the newspaper, there he was on the front page again. Another glorious photo. This time the PM is stepping off an ice shelf into a rubber dingy with an outboard motor. Now, what's wrong with that photo? Would the item "life jacket" seem like an appropiate piece of outerwear? Now if he slipped on that ice and fell in, not only would he be on CNN and You Tube but also on Americas's Funniest Home Videos. Second thing, do you notice how everyone else is dressed per military? How much imagination does it take to throw on a camouflaged coat?

Take a look at that photo again. Imagine if that piece had broken off. There would have been five of them in the drink. Would we have been able to blame that on somebody? We could blame it on Iceland. They are trying to horn in on out territory. They are small enough that we could smuck them. Then we would get Greenland and we would really be the great white north........I sat back for a minute, thinking about that and I've decided that it's a bad idea. They are in financial trouble and would immediately give in and ask for welfare. We better forget about that. Anyway, it's probably something the Americans have in mind. They like smucking places to get their agenda passed.

O.K. Lets get back on track. What would Obama do? Well, for one thing, he wouldn't be standing on the edge of the ice getting in a rubber dingy. He would be getting into a helicopter that would take him out to submarine. And a band would be playing both national anthems like a hockey game. What would he be wearing, you ask? Well his black suit of course. Just like one of those men in black. Maybe he is one of those men in black. His head opens up and there is a little alien sitting there with big eyes smoking a cigar.

Now, what about Putin? He's a mans man. No, not that kind of man's man. More like Capt. Russia, hero of the republic. He would probably be shot from a cannon, with sword in hand and cape flowing.

So, I guess we agree that PM Harper has to change his image. He could be more like Thor with the big hammer. He could carry a harpoon and we could call him Sgt. Har-poon, leader of the great white north, afraid of no one except the U.S., Russia and China, who would like to have us for lunch. I don't mean invite us to lunch, I mean have us for lunch. But no matter. Every country seems to get a chance to run the world and our turn is coming.

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