Saturday, July 31, 2010

Prince Charles Will Save The World

Saturday morning on what promises to be a beautiful day. About to do my usual Sat. routine, take my wife & daughter Yardsaleing. I think she found an empty spot in the house, so we have to find something to fill it. Better bring some money in case I find something for me. There's a difference between her and I. I actually look for legitimate stuff. Something like electrical boxes for wiring my shed. I think they should have yard sales for men only. Just sell manely stuff. Like car parts, beer hats and the all time favourite barbacue aprons. It's hard to have a yard sale for men. We don't have any junk. Everything we have, we need. And there is a reason for that. Every time the wife figures it's getting too crowded and she has to throw out stuff, she turfts out the husbands stuff.

Yesterday I mentioned the auction of Winston Churchill's dentures. I have to admit that I was slightly incorrect on that. It was only the upper plate, so I guess you can say it was only half a mouthful. They expected $8,000. but actually got almost $ 23,000. I guess it was because they changed the name of the item. They no longer called them Winston's Churchill's dentures. No sir. They called them, "The Teeth That Saved The World." Wouldn't you bid on something like that? There was probably a bidding frenzy after that. Imagine coming home to your wife and she asks,"What did you get at the auction dear?" OH, I got "The Teeth That Saved The World."  I don't know where they are now. Hope not in someone's mouth.

The Canadian Navy are getting new helicopters. Yes, and they are due three years ago. So we will be getting them at a later date. If some of the requirements are dropped we can get them at a earlier later date rather than a later date. Stuff like a system that allows info to be exchanged between ship and helicopter. Even so I think that we have to have something. We can still use flags, can't we? Too slow? So the solution to that would be to have Twitter accounts. Everyone would be issued an ipod. Another uneccessary item is an endurance test for flying in warm weather. By then we won't be in Afghanistan so why worry about warm weather. Another is a test that requires that one engine keeps going if the other engine fails at higher temperatures. I am kind of leery about that one. I understand that one engine won't fail because we are not in Afghanistan, but thinking about a car, if the engine overheats, you shut it down or it will do it by itself. Maybe they think that after the engine blows, the helicopter falling to earth will cool off the second engine and it will start. Or maybe they couldn't find a pilot stupid enough to do that test.

The bottom line is that Canadian factories get more jobs for the next twenty years, which is probably what they wanted. The end result is we are getting helicopters early later, have flags as communications with engines that may fail if they fly over southern Ontario in August.

By the way, you can make comments on these articles. If they are nasty, they won't see the light of day and you have been talking to yourself.

My add to Facebook today is: Prince Charles: 'My duty is to save the world'... We're in good hands now.

Friday, July 30, 2010

International Protestors Union?

The day is starting off wrong. The Canadian Tire flyer had driveway sealer at $12.99. Aaagh!. I bought mine in June for $30.00. Can't do anything about that. It's not like you can buy and save them. The other day, I switched those lawn mowers around. Now I have exactly what I want. Two mowers, both 6.75 hp, one with a bag on the back and the other with large rear wheels. I guess that's the end of that hobby. Rained all day yesterday and last night. Today it's cloudy, no wind and supposed to be hot this afternoon.

Right now I have a deal you might be interested in. Part of a set of dentures used by Winston Churchill to disguise a lisp is going on sale. Expecting around $8,000. How about this piece of history for your coffee table? Imagine the hot words that passed over these teeth. Or maybe not. There are actually two sets and the first one is in the museum. So the second one may have only spouted hot air. And I'm sure you've had your fill of that.

When you watched the Soccer World Cup and you saw how bad the North Korean team did, you probably figured the coach would be in big kaka. Well, he is no longer a coach, he is a construction worker. I thought he would end up in jail at the least. So maybe he was favoured. And the coach from Brazil? He also got turfed. Reminds me of the ball game the Mayans used to play. The losing team were toast. No free agents there.
I bet they were always looking for new players.

Here's a title that turns your head when you first glance at it."Separatists Start Five-Day Strike In India kashmir." When I saw that all I could say was, "Good Lord, now the protestors are going on strike?" It appears they are. Starting today, for five days, the store owners are going to close all their stores. But not wanting to cause their customers any grief, they will go off strike for Sunday, then back on strike on Monday. And you wonder why these countries still live the way they did 2000 years ago. Wonder if they belong to the International Protestors Union?

My Facebook entry today is: "I must be losing it. Saw this headline "Snooki Knocks Obama's Tanning Tax." And I actually knew who Snooki was. Help! I'm sinking into the celebrity abyss."

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Where Has My Promotion Gone?

Storm on the way. That's what they say. In that case, I'll just do inside stuff.

I was watching a tv show the other day called, "Crash $ Burn." It's about an insurance company. So there is a promotion coming up and one guy asks if he is going to get it? His boss says to him,"What! You're the best Adjuster we have. You save us millions of dollars a year. I woud be crazy to promote you and lose all that." And there in lies the truth. I suppose that you believe in the old adage, study, work hard and you will get ahead. That sounds good but that's not the way it works in the real world. The more useless you are, the more likely you'll get promoted. I bet you see that around your workplace. The hard working, smartest and best employees are the foundation that hold up the company. Can't promote them. Who would do the work. If you are getting a little older, maybe you are starting to clue into that now.

Does the military operate that way? You bet your combat boots they do. We had a saying in the military. Card players promote card players and drunks promote drunks. Of course, hard workers promote hard workers, but they are few and far between. This reminds me of something else. In the military they are always sending people on courses to keep up with the new stuff. So you can assume that they would send the best people, so they can keep up with the new stuff. No,no, no! Are you crazy. If they did that, who would do all the work? You have to send the person who is the most useless. Now what happens after that? Promotion time. "Look at this guy. Really gung-ho. Always going on courses. Up to date on everything. This is the guy we have to promote. Besides that, he's the Generals nephew.

Saw something the other day that flu vaccines are free this year. Also protects against H1N1. It is always free for a certain segment of the population. That would be me. When they were in panic mode last year, it was free to everyone. So maybe they are saying it's free for those who don't need it. So what are my thoughts on this?  First of all, they have too much vaccine left over. If they give it out, the doctors can charge the health insurance $20. a shot. During the panic last year, I didn't get any shots. Once I found out that the upper crust wasn't getting the same as the rest of us, I was wary. I also took into consideration the financial crisis, where thet were trying to get money into circulation by any means. Everyone associated with getting the vaccine to people had to be paid. Another way of getting money into the economy. Didn't hurt the drug companies either.

Time to bash the Water Commision now. My wife's friend told me yesterday that she had a call from them asking if they should come out and change the meter? They said that the water bill was down and they wondered if they had changed the consumption or if the meter was broken. She told them that her husband was in the hospital for the last two months and he used to water the lawn like crazy. So they were happy with that.  I guess this begs the question that if the bill had doubled, would she still get a phone call about the condition of the meter?

My facebook note today is. "Aaah! I'm the victim of rapid ageing. I'm sure I was 19 yesterday."

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

1900 Electric Car Photo

Today it's supposed to be 28C/82F. Of course the humidity will be higher. We are waiting for the Power Co. to arrive. They are going to pick up my old humidifier and gve me $10.00. Considering that I bought an almost new one at a yard sale for the same price, its a win win situation. Then its off for a haircut. Also thinking that today I may switch motors on two lawn mowers. But that's to be seen since my wife hasn't given me my marching orders yet. On second thought, she did tell me something last night. I have to fix something on my daughters wheelchair. Better do that right now.

O.K. That's done. And the haircut too. As I was having a bagel this morning, I remembered the first one I had. I was visiting a cousin in N.Y.C. and Sunday morning after mass, we went to a bagel store. They had six cash registers and a lineup like McDonald's. Behind this was trays of different flavour cream cheese. That was my first experience with bagels and I was impressed. This reminds me of my first experience with large pretzels. Driving into Philadelphia, there were people at the stop lights selling large pretzels covered with course salt. My wife, being from Germany, had to have one. Soft pretzels, yum,yum.We went to Philly over thirty times and Pretzels were on the menu.

The big buzz on tv last night was the new Chev. electric car. As you can see from the photo, the electric car is not new. We had them over a hundred years ago and progress went nowhere. They were slapped down by the oil companies. As Sarah Palin would say,"Well, how did that work out for ya? Maybe not that well, considering oil supplies, pollution etc. Where would the electric car be now if had a hundred years to improve? Would the planet be a better place to live? That's something we will never know. Greed dictates how things go and the track record is not too good on that.

They have small videos on tv about Canadian history. One of them was about Jacques Cartier who is credited with claiming Canada for France in the early 1500's. In the video he is aboard ship and one of the crew tells him that they have trouble steering the ship because of the amount of cod. When he goes for a look, he says something like,"My God, we have enough fish to feed the world till the end of time." Well, how did that work out for ya?  The reason I mention this is that you can't fish for cod anymore. We all know that. But in Newfoundland, for the next two weeks, you can fish for cod. Not with a net, a fishing line. So it will be cod for dinner and fishcakes for the freezer. I guess forever came sooner than we thought.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

School Days. School Days. Good Old Golden Rule Days

Tue. morning. Should be a nice day. Sunny with a little wind. Sounds like a grass cutting day. Can't start yet, though. Don't want to wake up the neighbours.

The top story in our newspaper today is about kids in school. It appears that the math test marks are too low. But our educators have a solution for that. Our great and wise have decided that the marks are too low because the bar is set too high. How do like that for a solution? Wait a minute now. We had that test three years ago and guess what? They decided that the bar was too high. I don't know if lowering the bar each time is a good plan. Would we then be graduating idiots? Perhaps we are already at that stage. Ever go to a store and have someone count change back to you, without the use of a cash register. That's pretty scarey.It appears that the educators never paid attention when they went to school. "These teachers don't know what they are talking about. I know better than them. And when I grow up and become a teacher, I'm going to show them." And they certainly have.

Read the other day that they are sending down to he Gulf area a local prof. who is an economist and whatever else. He is going down with The Economic Development Council. And he was asked because Nova Scotia has physical, economic and cultural similarities to Louisiana. The only similarity I see is that some of their ancestors came from Nova Scotia.

They are going down for three days to assess the economic recovery needs. First of all I think they have enough Americans that can do that. The people living there know better than anyone what is required. Who is paying for all this? Did someone have their hand in my wallet? Looks like a bunch of guys, doing the same job, getting together at someone else's expense. Getting photos and getting fodder for a university lecture, a newspaper article and whatever else.

There was this picture in the some paper the other day about a vegetarian protesting eating meat. She was dressed as a lettuce. The article said she wanted to turn over a new leaf. What they mean is that she wants us to turn over a new leaf.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Cash For Clunkers

Monday morning and back to the warm temps. again. They say for most of the week. Woke up at 7:00 this morning to the sound of sirens. And it sounded like a lot of them. When you are involved with a siren, it's usually bad news. No plans yet on what to do today. What do seniors do? Weave baskets? This reminds me of old peoples homes. My son and his friend went to visit his father. Told me that he never expected to spend Sat. afternoon doing that and it was really scarey. The guy's father told them that his tv didn't work. Couldn't change channels. He had been clicking it and now was up around 100. The channels were changing .1 each time. Said that his tv hadn't worked for months. My son restored everything and wrote down directions on a piece of paper. His son didn't know about this because he always took him home for the afternoon and his father never mentioned it. Not being able to use something like a tv clicker sure decreased his quality of life.

Now that the Gay Parade is over, the next attraction for the masses is the Psychic Fair this weekend. They don't have the same crowds, so they don't get a parade. I saw pictures of some floats and they could use them in a parade. They could start with a large crystal ball and a Genie hanging out of the top.

You probably saw this item on the news about a guy who traded up from a cellphone to a BMW. He did it in seventeen trades. My take on this is that this guy must live in an area where it is easy to find seventeen really stupid people. Who trades down to something of a lesser value? My son thinks it was a con. Maybe he was able to tell each one of them that if they would do a deal, they would get on the news and all be famous. Well, two of them got on the news. Him and his buddy that gave him the cell phone. The others were in the land of how can you be so stupid? I think the clincher for me was the motor bikes. There were a number of them. Who in their right mind would trade a bike for a lesser model and walk away?

In the U.S. they had this "Cash For Clunkers" deal. I think they gave you $2000. Up here, we have a recycle program for old cars. They take cars 1995 and before. And what do you get in return? Why, you get a bicycle or a bus pass for a month. Wouldn't that just get you all excited? Do you think that if I gave them a bicycle, they would they give me an old Volkswagen Bug?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Souped Up Drink Cooler

Saw something on New People's Almanac this morning. It said that 80% of millionairs drive a second hand car. So I was fairly impressed with this. Thinking that some millionairs don't waste their money. Told my wife about it and she said, "Well Jay Leno has used cars." Then I was not so impressed. After that I told my son the same thing. He said "Sure , but they can also have a new car. Now getting less impressed. Then I think, yeah, a guy can have a 2009 Maserati. No longer impressed.

Now here's a story about the souped up drink cooler. This guy was stopped, riding on the sidewalk and got a ticket for $222.00. Now when you look at this thing, it's not much different than something from the scooter shop.  It's not as pretty and it's home made but it's about the same size. I don't know why he got the ticket but I have a few ideas about it. He says that he drives it at 5 to 10 mph. but says it goes 50 mph. Anything going that speed has to have a licence and probably drive on the road. You wouldn't be able to drive your car on the sidewalk even if you went 5 to 10 mph. There is something else thought I don't know if it has anything to do with it. The guy is about 42  years old and I don't think he has any handicap. Anyway, he is going to fight it in court. Right now he is grounded.

Since the dock workers in Montreal have gone on strike, it has given more business to Halifax. Does an increase in port traffic also mean an increase in drug traffic? Seem like the two would go hand in hand.

I have four brothers of which I am the oldest. One day someone said to me that I would die first. Inquiring how he got to that deduction, he said because I was the oldest. My thought was,"Hold on Tonto, this is not the Supermarket, where if you are at the front of the line, you get to go thru the checkout first."

Careful With the Dildow

Someone mentioned that I must have seen some strange goings on when I worked at the airport. And that's an understatement. I'll mention a few. I know that the airport couldn't do this but it sure would help middle age women if they were allowed to put up a sign which read. "Before proceeding through baggage inspection, please insure that the batteries have been removed from your vibrator." Laugh as you will, its not an infrequent mishap. I get an alarm and I get the cameras rolling. Security searches through the bag, finds the item and holds it up in the air to show that it is not a threat. And there he is, "King Kong" for all the world to see. And for the lady, not the celebrity she wanted to be.

Some monitors always have the same picture on them. A spot such as a gate are always watched. One morning I was sitting there and I saw one of the employees climbing up the gate. He didn't bother going through the main door or security doors. Honed in on him, got all the photos, did the alarms and there he was nabbed. I get a pat on the back and he gets a $500. fine. Could have been worse for him. On the other hand, if I hadn't caught him, it would have been worse for me. It could have been a test.

That's enough of the serious stuff. One morning I was near the bottom of the escalator where the people come down from Arrivals and go through the door to meet their loved ones. Coming down the escalator was a good looking girl around 20. She was wearing blue jean shorts and a tank top. She also had crutches because she had two broken legs. Both legs had full casts. She gets to the bottom and asks if I would help her. Told me that she had a cramp in her stomach and would I massage it fo her. That would have looked really great on camera. Photos for everyone. Anyway, up went the red flare and I suggested that I could hold her crutches, she could put one hand on my shoulder to steady herself and massage her own stomach. true story. I couldn
t make up one like that.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Britney Spears On The Run

At least that's what she called herself as she made a dash through security the other day at Halifax Int. Airport. She ran past the guys that check carry-on luggage, up the stairs, hoping to get to the secure area where the planes are loaded. Well, she really has high hopes there. That just ain't going to happen. Having had the responsibility of trapping those people, I can tell you how that works.

Airport security is controlled from Security Operations Center. It is a secure area away from everything. The Fort Knox of the airport. All camera operation, monitors, computers, radio ops, lock controls, passwords and anything pertaining to security is controlled from there. The person running this is called a SOC Operator. I had that job for five years. All are ex military. When I was there, sometimes there was only one person on. Now there is always two.

Running through security? We practice that all the time. At the top of the stairs to the secure area there are four doors which seperates it from the baggage inspection. If someone runs, security pushes an alarm. The SOC Op. locks the doors and only he can open them. At the same time he has a camera on the person and is able to switch from camera to camera to track the person. At the same time again, he has a foot switch for the radio and is broadcasting all that is going on. He has alerted one R.C.M.P. and four Security Police. These police are ex R.C.M.P., ex City Police and ex Military Police. So Britany got to the top of the stairs and had no place to go. By now all police have her under tow. Off to the looney bin.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hobby Without a Horse

This article is about me, or at least the hobbies I've had over the last ten years. Now I don't have a hobby like stamp collecting etc. that can be a lifelong passion. Mine are more like part time jobs, that after awhile, they reach some conclusion and I move on. Some people are obsessed with following celebrities. That could be a hobby. Most people finish with that hobby after their teens, but some people try to stay young forever. You just have to remember that celebrities are people and have the same faults as your nexr door neighbour or your relatives.

I think the first hobby was selling on ebay. For myself and other people. I had a friend who had a lot of unusual items to sell. One was a Union Army belt buckle from the Civil War. Another, I can't remember what it was, came from a U.S. submarine. This sub was now a museum and the item was in the sub when it was active. The curator sent me a photo of the inside of the sub with the item. He was very happy to get it. And it was more like a donation.

After awhile I said enough of this packing, I need something simpler. I came up with the idea of old magazine ads. All I needed was an envelope and cardboard backing. That I did for a number of years. With the recession, business slowed down but Post office expenses didn't. I closed my ebay store. The ads I still display on two other sites.  and  The first site gets about 1000 visitors a day. It seem that I have become somewhat of a library. People want them for school products, university magazines and movies. For one movie I had to send a photo of a big tooth. Got my name in the credits. Once I sent an ad to CA 90210.

These ads plus others provide me with money from adsense, ebay and Amazon ads. They run automatic and I have to check them ever so often to make sure of that. While this was going on, I was restoring antique radios. You know, the old tube type. Did that for a couple of years. Then decided that this was too much like my military job. And the cruncher was when they got rid of all AM radion stations. Now I can't listen to them.

Three years ago I bought a 25 year old snow blower. No plastic on it. All steel, 32" cut, 7 gears forward, 3 reverse. So I figured with that, I better learn how to fix the motor. Same as a lawn mower, just bigger. I always used an electric mower because I could fix them. So I had better learn to fix a gas one. That was last years project or hobby, which I finished this year.

Prior to all this, I learned to use a computer, then I learned to fix a computer, then I learned how to build a computer from scratch. I think now I am hobbyless. Maybe I should write a book. I have two brothers that do that. Both are published, but not on a grand scale. Or maybe I could just sit on the patio and drink beer.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Catholic Jokes and Bingo

Big rain and thunder today. Supposed to be 20C/68F. The grass needs the rain. Someone gave my neighbour a lawnmower, non working that is. Had that going in about 5 min. Have two of hers now, which I will combine to make one that will be better than mine. That's my plan. God may change that. I was supposed to take my daughter to Halifax to pick up glasses. May have to put that on hold. In and out of the van and wheelchair in the rain not a good idea.

Been some noise lately about children playing Bingo. One interview complained that this would lead to problem gamblers. My own thoughts on that are with pre-teens and teens learning poker, we are long past that. And the idea that this is a sport is beyond me. I always thought that sports require some exertion. Not sitting behind a table perhaps having a beer. Imagine in Olympic Boxing, "Hold that punch Bud, I need a swig of beer." Back to Bingo.  Kids have been playing Bingo as long as I can remember. Sometimes its a family outing. I can't imagine a slew of kids running out to play Bingo. Actually I can't imagine kids running.

I remember when I was young, there was always Catholic jokes. I'm catholic and I told the same jokes. Funny is funny. Masons have told me that when they made a speech, it should include a good Catholic joke.
At the top of the joke list would be Catholics and Bingo. Lately I watch tv and see the ads, "Masonic Bingo, seven nights a week." Now that's funny. Other jokes would be about eating fish on Friday. And what happens now? Everyone after fish oil capsuls. Need that Omega 3. It appears that some must have known something. And this must show that the churches are coming closer together. Everyone plays Bingo and want to eat fish and not just on Friday. God works in mysterous ways.

The paper this morning show almost a full page ad for a beer sale. Since you can only buy beer from a Government store, there is no competation. And people that are going to buy beer, go and buy it. A sale doesn't make much difference. Then again, maybe some stock up. From the sellers point of view, if they have it, they will drink it. The sale doesn't make much difference to me. Of course, this is from someone who drinks a beer a year and the last drink of liquor was at a family funeral three years ago.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The $400,000. Cookie

The temp. today is 28C/82F with humidity 38C/96F. That is fairly warm and I gather that under some people's collars it could be hotter. I cut my neighbours lawn this morning while it was in the shade and before it got too hot. The power just came back on. It was off for a short time. Back in time for dinner.

Did you hear that the Government is getting into the bakery business? It would appear so. They wanted to make made-in-Canada astronaut food. To the tune of $400,000. They quietly got into it and just as quietly got out of it. Didn't pan out so to speak. The first problem seemed to be the ego problem. It has to have Canadian content.  They needed recipes with Canadian sounding names. Fiddleheads, bison meatloaf, maple cookies and other intriguing items were on the menu. The only one that passed the test were cream filled oatmeal cookies. So Canadians, you spent $400,000 for an oatmeal cookie recipe. I could have given you one.

I don't know why they went thru all that trouble. The solution is so simple. All they had to do was put a picture of William Shatner on each package. Can you imagine it? Canadian content. William Shatner "Capt. Kirk". In the Space Station. On top of all that, this bakery was in Montreal, the home of William Shatner.
Win, win all the way. Can't see the forest for the trees.

Learned a new word the other day. Pink. No, not the colour. The person. Didn't know there was a singer that name. But I also found out that some of her ancestors are Lithuanian. Guess what? Today I learned another new word. Stunting! If you drive 50klm/30mph over the posted speed limit, it's called stunting. First fine is over $2400. This guy they fined yesterday was travelling 190klm/115mph. And his fine? Well , he gets to pay a nice $10,000. On the other hand, if you drive a car that can move that fast, I guess you can afford it.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

No More Water Pipes For Women

Saw this article the other day and it said that Hamas won't allow women to use water pipes any more. The first thing that came to my mind was, "Those Arabs, they won't even allow the women to use taps anymore. They will have to get water from the well." I would not find this so far fetched as you imagine, because just awhile ago they outlawed women riding on motorbikes. Not just driving them, but riding on the back seat behind their husbands. I don't know if they can still ride on donkeys. A lot of the older women agree with thes laws. Yep, I'm sure Allah sat down and said, "This with women riding on bikes has got to stop.From now on they walk, I have spoken.""Boom, clap of thunder." Anyway, they wern't taking about those pipes, they were talking about smoking pipes. I copied this so we are all on the same page.

"In street cafeterias one can order a coffee or tea and a sheesha. Usual choice for a water pipe (nargilla) order would be a very light tobacco mixed with aromatic fruits - apple, cherry, etc. You can see people spending hours over nargillah and a drink of tea or coffee. Very pleasant, relaxing experience helps socializing and making new contacts.  The smoke itself is very light and pleasant, even for those who don't normally smoke! Specially constructed water pipe additionally filters the smoke through water, and cools it down in long brass tubes, offering rather a tasty "dessert" than a smoking experience."

What got me was the "spending hours." Those lazy louts. They just don't want to work. They could be out rioting or throwing rocks.  Some men don't get off that easy either. Standing next to a woman in public. Bad News Bears for you. Wearing shorts?  I wouldn't want to imagine the punishment for that. And Adultry?  Oh! Sorry.That's O.K. It was the woman's fault. Maybe one ear was showing.

Squatters To Be Shot

Awhile back I wrote about Canada Geese. The next day there was a half page article on the subject. It seems that when they fly south and stop for bed and board, some decide that they like the area, close to schools, shopping malls and especially parks, they decide to stay. They have five chicks a year for twenty years. So the squatter slums start getting larger. Not unlike humans, would you say? We don't know what to do with the humans but the Geese can be shot. In Canada the hunting season is 5 days, which they have just extended to 11 days. But just like the army, there are rules of engagement. The hunting season is prior to the peak travel season. We don't want to shoot vacationers going south. You can shoot them in a farmers field, but you have to get permission. Never said anything about dressing up as a Scarecrow. If you are one for a Christmas Goose, you need to have a freezer.

Speaking of "Rules of Engagement." I guess it's not shoot first, ask questions later. Looks like you have to call Headquarters first and get permission. The Capt. didn't do that and look what crapola he got in.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Walking Drunk!

When I finish with the newspaper today, I'm going to take it out and pee on it. Is that the same as weed killer? One article really ticked me off. There was an interview with a city manager, who is in charge of making the city green. Could this be the culprit responsible for not allowing me to kill my Dandelions? Anyway, they are asking this turkey about evasive plants and bugs. Along the side they have a list of his credentials. He has a Bachelor of Commerce degree. Then he worked in the offshore oil industry for 10 years. After that he got a city job as manager of procurement. Then it was Enviroment Management Office. Someone from the oil industry telling us how to look after the enviroment. I can see where this is really a great choice. A perfect resume for telling everyone how to take care of their lawn. Wonder if he ever worked for BP?

There was a second part to this no use of pesticides. If you own a lawn care copmany, it's ok to use pesticides. So, is this an example of wanting to keep the students summer jobs, or does someone have their hand in someone's else's back pocket. Another thing. Have you ever noticed how someone can be CEO of McDonalds one day and the next, he can be CEO of Funeral Homes? You know what that is? It's not what you know, its who you know. Take California for example. The CEO of ebay wants to be the Governor. On second thought, that may be a good idea. California may have a lot of auctioning off to do.

Back to my newspaper. One-third of the front page and one-half of the second page concerned a lesbian couple from North Carolina who were getting married. Slow news day or what? The other day, it was about drunken city councillors. Maybe that why we get dumb ass managers. It seems that the Mayor had to chastise some for driving drunk, walking drunk and showing up drunk at meetings. One even showed up drunk at the swearing in ceremony. Walking drunk! Are you out of your mind? The Mayor took these people aside and gave them a tongue lashing and made them stand in the corner. He knew about a few of them but the others came by way that a school teacher would find out from five year olds in a school yard. "Miss Betty, I saw Johnnie in the outhouse, throwing the catalogue down the hole." 

Which brings up a question. Did they only use catalogues, or did they use magazines too? Pre Playboy weren't they? Women't toilets had a half moon on the door and I'm wondering why is that the only one you see? Maybe because men could just go behind a tree.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Indian Nation

Yesterday my wife was going shopping and we were finishing off a conversation. Her last sentence was, "What goes around comes around I'm taking twenty-dollars." Do you call that speed talk? They have speed dating. You know what I thought speed dating was? You take one girlfriend home at 10:00 so you can pick up the other one. Good girl first, bad girl second. Can you imagine bragging about speed dating? "Ahuh, ahuh had a date last night. We went out for drinks. Da and it was really good. By the way, Donald Trump hasn't called back about my "Spies Are Us." show. Now "Speed Dating" would make a very good half hour comedy. Different guys every week. This is work for part time actors. And there would be one big name star who drops you at the end of the show. Win, win for everyone. I could go and drink wine with Arnold at Fess Parkers Winery.

The National game of Canada is Lacrosse, invented by the Huron and Iroquois. The Iroquois have a team playing for the World Championship, or should I say, trying to play. It seems they don't have American or Canadian passports, just an Indian Nation passport. Lets face it, an Indian Nation is a nice, fuzzy, warm idea. but that's not going to fly. Once you get into the real world, reality sets in. Now back to, what goes around, comes around. The Indian Nation is not a new idea. It was the main reason for the American Revolution.

There are two reasons to start a war. One reason is what they tell the cannon fodder. The ordinary people. And then there is the real reason. The one for the elite. And it almost always greed. It was the same then as it is now. For the cannon fodder, it was taxation, representation. Fot the elite, it was expansion. The British Government had the idea to form North America into three parts. The Thirteen Colonies, Canada and the Indian Nation. ( The rest was Spanish.) The Indian Nation would be west of the Colonies, Ohio etc. This would strangle any chance of them expanding. Well, we see how that worked out.

The American Government has allowed what they call, The Iroquois Nation. They have their own passport, etc. This is just the start. Nothing but trouble coming there. What's next? With the number of Mexicans coming in, are we looking at The Spanish Nation?  Put that all down on a map and what do you see?  Well! look at that, its the Thirteen Colonies again. O.K I may be exaggerating, but what about that border?

You know? They say the big banks walked away with all that stimulus money. I don't think that would be true. I think they would drive away in big limos with Brinks trucks following them.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Tony Soprano Needs the Cash

The front page of yesterday's paper showed the results of an accident. A woman had backed out of a driveway and had hit an old man driving a motorized scooter on the sidewalk. Not enough to cause injury and the woman was given a ticket. Now I'm not sure if I would fault the woman entirely. I think it is the responsibility of the scooter driver not to take for granted that he has the right of way. It reminds me of people who jaywalk. They step in front of you and look the other way pretending that they don't see you. They assume you will stop. You just better hope that the car driver is not looking the other way. Now back to the scooter. There used to be a man living across the street and he had one of those things. Those things are low. I don't know if its the law or not but he should have one of those flags. If it is the law, meanie me would have given him a ticket, because he still thinks he's right and will not be careful next time. If you are laying on a slab, it won't matter if you were right.

Speaking of tickets, my son told me about something that happened in New York. A son was going home to see his mother and he noticed that she had thrown out a fridge. He asked her if he could have it and no problem. Just as he was loading it on his vehicle, a meter maid drove by. She him a $2000. ticket because in N.Y. you are not allowed to pick up someone else's garbage. She also gave the mother a $2000. ticket for giving permission. So I guess the meter maid gets a slap on the back for being a super crime fighter, the land fill gets another fridge because there must have been an empty spot and a town councillor and Tony Soprano get some extra cash.

We handle that a little differently up here. On garbage day, anyone can drive around and take anything they want. They take all the metal of course to sell to the metal dealers. Twice a year, spring and fall, you are allowed to put your unwanted items out on the lawn for the weekend. Everyone can help themselves. I picked up my lawn mower on garbage day. A guy I know was throwing his out because it wouldn't start. Had a broken pin. Means he hit a rock and broke it. I repaired it for $25.00 and now have a two year old lawn mower that new cost $200.00.

Friday, July 16, 2010

♫ Lets Twist again, like we did 50 yrs.ago.♫

♫ Lets Twist again, like we did 50 yrs.ago.♫
Well, if you have that notion even vaguely in your mind, have an ambulance standing by. Chubby Checker brought the dance to everyone, but I guess he wasn't the first to sing it. Luck of the draw eh? And they say (Notice how it is always "they" and they seem to know everything.) that this was the first dance where people didn't touch. Now I'm kind of skeptical about that. I've seen lots of cowboy movies with indians dancing around the fire and never have I seen them touch. And pirates? What about them? On a pirate ship, doing a jig? No touching there. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt. Because "they" are known to lie.

Staying with entertainment, Regis and his hand puppet were on PEI to do four shows. Cost one million $'s. Considering what it costs for 30 sec. at the Super Bowl, this sounds like a good deal. Where else could you get a four ad for that amount?  I liked it there last month and thinking of going next year. And gas was ten cents a liter cheaper. We know that Regis is not a seafood man. I guess when he goes to the Gulf, he eats steak.

Continuing along with Arts & Entertainment and into Fashion File. It seems that the chic thing for men to do is to roll up their pants legs an inch or two. Talk about desperate. Fonzie you are not. Seen a few photos and they look like someone trying to sneak out of the back door of a mental home. You know, these guys could be on the same runway with those who wear their pants halfway down their ass. But the half-ass guys would have to be extremely overweight to give the full effect. Wonder why the guys in this photo don't show their faces? At least they have clean shorts.

Remember the Alamo

"Quebec to boost birth rate by coverning fertility treatments." Just got to get that birth rate up eh? I bet to get that you have to speak French and possibly have a French backround. For sure there will be no Anglephones allowed. But no mater what they do, the future is inevitably. They will be like their relatives in Louisiana. It appears that North America will end up as Spanish and English. The Mexicans might have their own agenda. "Remember the Alamo." Maybe they remember it too and want it back. After all, they did have it first. I remember going from Cal. to Mexico. I walked through the border and there was hardly anyone going in. There was one Federalie at a desk and he was fast asleep. On the way back it was totally different. Huge lineups. I stood on top the bridge and saw few cars going in but coming to the U.S, they were three abreast as far as you could see. And that is just the legal ones.

My wife is from Germany and the base I was at was next to her town. That base is now an airport and one of the major airlines there is Turkish Airways. A lot of the homes in that town are Turkish owned. We have been told that the Turkish government supplies the money to buy these homes. They always pay cash. I am sure you are aware that all the countries in Europe are having increased Arab populations. And they don't mind having eight kids. Get the picture? Sharia law. Back to the stone age or would that be stoning?

It appears that the Help Line here is only available from 8 A.M. to 11 P.M. Can you imagine someone about to jump off the bridge at 10:55 P.M, dials the Help Line  and hears, " I'm sorry sir, but we are closing for the night. Could you please call back at 8 A.M?" "But I'm about to jump off the bridge." "I'm sorry sir, but you have to call back during normal working hrs. You have to rebook your jumping appointment or get off your ass and originize your life." "You're not supposed to talk like that." "Well bud, it's after 11 P.M. and now you're just a crank call on my cell phone. I have to go to a party now. By the way since you have nothing to do till 8 A.M, why don't you join me?" "O.K."

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Happy Birthday Hula Hoop!

Happy Birthday Hula Hoop! Actually it was in March, but its the thought that matters. And speaking of thoughts, my thought is that a lot of people who used the hoop would have difficulty fitting inside one now. How unfeeling of me? Well the Illinois State Government is considering an Obesity Tax. They want to add a tax to soda pop. Say it is one of the major contributors to obesity. Do you think that will really help? Come on now! We all know what they are saying. We're giving you a tax increase but we want you to think that is helping you. We had a brainstorming sesson and that's the best we could come up with. In Canada we seem to do it a little different. The Gov. says you now pay 13% and on the first of the month it will be 15%. Complain a little and move on.

Speaking of Canada and the Canada Goose in particular, it seem that some American states are intent on doing them in. New Jersey, the latest. Posses and lynch mobs scouring the state for geese. It has hit our headlines this morning. It's like an attack on Canadians. Hold on there now. They're not just our geese. These guys have dual citizenship. And you guys will be amazed at my solution to stop the slaughter. No longer will we call them Canada Geese (first named in 1772), we will call them American Geese. No American in his right mind would yell out, "Hey, lets go down to the pond and kill some Americans."

Did you know that Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird of the U.S. to be the turkey. Can you imagine that.  "Be your best, soar like a Turkey." I'm glad he was outvoted. I don't think a Thanksgiving Eagle has the same ring. And did you know that a lot of the eagles are immigrants. We sent a lot down from Nova Scotia because of a shortage due to pestacides. I don't think they ever come back for a visit. They got their Green Grass cards right away.

From an article. "If we don't receive any money, we're going to have to close the door, and our employee will have to go on welfare." This is a small museum from a small village whose survival depends on grants from the government. Which in one way is already welfare. I know people whose purpose in life is to get grants from the government. Their existance depends upon it. They dream up a charity or cause, submit it and some bureaucrat  and the gravy train goes on for years. They pollute their tax forms with expenses real and imaginary which eats up most of the grant. If the grant ever runs out , they just get a job with the government since they know how the system works. Know anyone like that?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

UFO's Next Door

O.K. the cats and dogs are back. The trees in my backyard are starting to look like the Amazon jungle. I'm sure I saw an indian running around with a knitting needle in his nose. Supposed to rain all day. When you are retired, you have two options. Stay inside and drink beer or stay outside and drink beer. I just came back from buying a lottery ticket. Sucker!

"Something really strange is happening this summer at Shag Harbour’s UFO museum." That's how the paragraph starts off.  Got my attention. Expected to hear about a visit from little grey men. Notice how they always say little grey men? Why can't they be little grey women. Anyway, I found out they were talking about tourists. Mostly Americans. Some could be grey but probably not little. I wonder if they are coming because of the name "Shag?" And will they be disappointed when they find out it's the name of a bird?
The place is our answer to Roswell. Supposedly a flying saucer landed in the ocean near there. I guess you can see two large round indentions on the ocean floor. And what more proof do you need than that? I was stationed near there and I never saw any freezers with aliens. But I must admit there was some weird characters there.

Up the coast we have another place famous for landings. This one is for pirates. Of course I'm speaking about Oak Island. Last June I went on a tour of the island and viewed all the attempts to find the booty. But if you haven't gone, you're s---- out of luck. No more tours. And since it's a private island, you can look from afar and only imagine what it would be to have a latte with Donald Trump. Well you have Plan B - a lottery ticket.

Watching a movie the other night, I saw this wedding car dragging all the tin cans. You know what I mean. I have to admit that I've never actually seen that. It must be an American thing. I looked it up and it says it's to ward off evil spirits. Well, fella, you're going to find out that doesn't work.

Adding a photo of me in Las Vegas with a little grey man. Notice how I am totally amazed?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Military Culture

Breakfast finished, Obituary column finished, TV guide finished before I started. The Obituary column upset me. Too many people dying young. Does that mean they have started running out of old people? I am going to petition God to let people live longer. At least long enough to collect all the pension they have paid in. Maybe this is a Government conspiracry. After all they get to keep all the money.

Read this article yesterday and it pretains to military culture in Canada. It has to do with training manuals. And the use of sexual cartoons in these manuals. It appears now that the troops need pictures to understand. When I was in the Air Force, no pictures, all writing. The cartoons are no different than I get in emails. And I can understand why they did it. A sexual cartoon is much easier to remember than a paragraph. Ok, your wrist has ben slapped.

What I don't like about the article is this woman in Calgary, sitting behind a desk, presuming to know about military culture. Basic military culture, you have to learn how to kill people and people will definately try to kill you. Now I never agreed with the idea of women in combat. But women libbers had to have their way. So now women are equally able to get shot in the head. If captured, they won't be given a little BO Peep dress and sent back home. For them, getting killed would be the good part. This reporter need to see the mini-series "Pacific", war at its worse. Too naive to write about the military. There, you have been spanked. Oh crap! Did I say that out loud?

Saw this morning about a female member of parliament. She said that there was a move afoot to change the law concerning Honor Killings. That's where those dumb asses kill their daughter for going to the movies. My first thought was, "Hold on Trigger." Murder is murder. But with reading a few extra lines, the light bulb went on and all was clear. "In her statement, Ambrose said honour killings have no place in Canadian society and urged women’s groups to submit project proposals for government funding to prevent future violence." So the cat is out of the bag there. The Americans would call that pork. Up here, we call it fishy.

I see that in the gulf states, they are not too forthcoming with giving up any of that 20 billion to the fisherman. As they put it, not enough paperwork. I think that if you made $40,000. and paid your taxes you should have enough paperwork. But hey, the big guys have to get their cut first, so how much will be left?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Spies Are Us?

Big rain all night and still raining cats and dogs. And that saying came from. "In the filthy streets of 17th/18th century England, heavy rain would occasionally carry along dead animals and other debris. The animals didn't fall from the sky, but the sight of dead cats and dogs floating by in storms probably started this phrase." By the way, was anyone planning on chinese today?

Oh my God! LeBron James is a basketball player. I thought it was a realty show. Actually I didn't know he existed till two weeks ago. Then all of a sudden he is in my face. And I thought his first name was James. Anyway, never heard of the guy till he decided to change teams, then he's the greatest player in the world. He decides to change teams and Whamo, front page news. But I think he's toast now. Anjelina Jolie just got a tattoo on the inside of her theigh. He's not going to be able to top that. Back to James LeBron. If he wants to switch teams, that's his choice. His owners certainly wouldn't have any loyality to him. Remember Babe Ruth? Puff, out the door. I guess he created a lot of jobs and is still doing it. Think of all the guys they had to hire to tear down his sign in Cleveland.

I guess you can see that I'm not a basketball fan. Went to Catholic school and we didn't have a basketball team. The Protestants did though. We didn't have a hockey team either. The Protestants did. What we did have was Catechism classes. I was sort of a star there. Actually thought that I would be going up to the majors. Then I turned sixteen and got a drivers licence, then a girl friend. They sort of go hand in hand.  Well, the majors were out. So was a farm team.

A couple of days ago, I wrote on Facebook that the Americans should not have sent the spies back. They should have made it into a reality show. Maybe it is a reality show and they are just testing the waters. All those spies could come back. The food in the fridge wouldn't even be bad yet. You never know, these guys are pretty cagey. Russia might be in on it. We can call the show "Spies Are Us?" And you have to have the queston mark at the end.

I know what the first challange should be. Sneaking back into the States thru Mexico. The first couple back is the winner. No, lets change that. The last couple back is the winner. That would be harder. If you land in a Mexican jail, you're eliminated. Another challange would have a couple sneaking into a Bar Mitzvah. I thought first a White House party but that would be too easy. You could also sit in a Starbucks and see who gets reconized. To give Anna Chapman a fair chance, she would have to wear a moustache and have hairy armpits.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

To Rooftop Garden Or Not

♫ Coffee. I've had my first coffee. ♫
I stole that song from a Twitter friend. I'll have to fess up. Don't want to be known as a Twitter Thief. Finally broke that bagel and coffee rut I was in. Today it was toasted rye bread, banana and ♫ coffee ♫. Read the newspaper and there is no Dagwood on Sunday, so that sets the tone for the day. Dagwood will be back tomorrow, I can muddle thru till then.

An article the other day, about half a page, gushed with the benefits of a rooftop garden. I look at this as blatant irresponsibility staring down at me with the fangs of T.Rex. All the Green, Tree Hugging, apt. dwellers will look at this and think. Yes! That could be me. Their eyes become glazed over with visions of rooftop fields of Lettuce, Tomatoes and Bok Choy. Trees for Christmas and two Maple Leaf trees to get Maple Syrup from and hold their hammock. In actual fact, what they will probably plant is radishes. Everyone seems to plant radishes.

Lets get back to the garden on the roof. Get serious.You can't just go out and get a ton of dirt and dump it on your roof. These gardens are for buildings that are especially designed for this purpose. If your garden isn't sitting atop a drainage system, where is the water going to go. (Now speak like a 5 yr.old.) "That's ok, the plants will drink all the water and be really healthy and we will have lots of Bok Choy." Now on to the Christmas and Maple Tree. Ever hear of roots. No, not the TV show. The things a tree has instead of feet. On TV they can walk around with them but in real life they are stuck in one place. And like most peoples waistline the roots keep growing. They grow down, into any crack in the cement they can find. The result. You will be infested with birds nests and squirrels.

Years ago, a friend of mine told me about his brother who managed an apt. building in Toronto. A tenant complained that there was water leaking from his ceiling. The mgr. figured he better go look. Sure enough, the whole ceiling was leaking water. Upstaires was a family from Pakistan so he went up to check. He knocked on the door and when it opened he noticed that the whole living room was a garden and the man was there with a hose watering it.

Saw this photo in the paper this morning. At first glance it was, "Oh my God, Alien right here in Halifax." But after a mouthfull of ♫ coffee ♫ I saw that it was just a guy living hand to mouth.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

On The Ark With Rocky

The weather this morning says it is going to rain for seven days. Doesn't worry me. When I built my patio, I didn't attach it to the house. Sure, my neighbours laugh, but they laughed at Noah too. So far I've signed up the next door neighbours cat.

First thing in the morning is too read the obituary column, the the tv schedule. Notice how the two are somewhat similar. A couple of nights ago, with all repeats, I watched a boxing match. I should say up front that my perception of the match was probably tainted because I watched "Rocky" the day before. It was for middleweights. 27/24 wins, 16/14 KO's, o losses. In this match arms were flying in all directions. The only knockdown was when the opponent got slapped in the back of the head. When the champ wanted to throw a punch, he leapt ahead about the lenght of two paces and threw a roundhouse. What footwork, what finesse. I say again how I am warped by Rocky and possibly wrestling, but these guys had legs like toothpicks. They should be embarassed to wear shorts. And biceps, or lack of, so as Arnold would say,"These are Girlie Men."

Spent this week working on my van. Had to do some bodywork. It's a stop and go job. Took it to the carwash yesterday, so all I have to do is clean the windows inside. So that project is finished. And the next one will be to put power into my shed. My neighbour gave me a Skil electric drill. Said someone gave it to him and that it didn't work. Thought that maybe I could fix it for myself. Easy fix. Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it. Guess I have one for the house another for the shed.

Friday, July 9, 2010

My Sure Shot Wife

I think I'm in a rut. I've had a bagel and coffee four mornings in a row. That's a rut isn't it? Always read the paper first and any man type flyers. Canadian Tire had one so had to check it out. On the front page was that driveway sealer again for $19.00. Just trying to tick me off. I guess the planning dept. must have made a big blunder when they estimated how many people would do the driveway this year. Next year, they will underestimate and it will cost three times as much. Just like christmas trees. One year they are on every corner, the next year, hardly any.

Another thing I saw was a multi-knife. The big brother of the Swiss Army Knife. It comes with a sheath and you can wear it on your belt. Come on, who actually uses these things? So I walk around my back yard and see a branch that has to be cut off. But am I worried? No way. I am wearing my trusty multi-knife. I'll just flick out the saw and if I start now I could have that branch off, in say, 50 years. Even the Swiss Army Knife?  You can clean your fingernails and remove some mini screws.

Now the air pistol or BB Gun is another matter. I still have a Daisy Air Rifle. When my son was young fellow, we were out shooting at a target. My wife came along and I offered to show her how, thinking "Poor woman, she'll be lucky if she hits the target." I showed her how to cock it, she laid down and Crack, Crack, Crack, six fast shots and ..........six bulls eyes. My chin dropped so far I had to roll it up. I asked her how she did that? "I don't know, I just shot it." Since she is German, I was wondering if they have a shooting gene we don't know about. Told her that the Canada Games have this sport and she should look into it. "No, I'm not interested." Reminds me that I saw a picture of her once wearing an army uniform. When I asked about it, she said it was her brothers and she just had it on for fun. I believe it. Right? Right?

When I was young, I had a BB Gun. Shot my brother Peter with it. He was hollering that he was going to tell dad. So I tried change his mind and I had to make a deal. Told him he could shoot me once and we would be even. Pretty stupid eh? Gave him the gun, started backing away, he cocked it and I took off. Crack! he got me in the soft spot behind the kneecap. So I stopped and said "I guess we're even now." He cocked it again, I took off and he emptied the clip. A few years later I gave him the gun. He went and shot everyone and everything. My dad finally took the gun and wrapped it around a tree.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

"Bulls Off and Running"

"Bulls Off and Running" That was the heading for a half page spread in the paper this morning. At first glance, it would appear to be the headline for yesterday's stock move. But no, it was bull from Spain. All I need to know about the running of the bulls. They don't just do this once, they do this for 9 days in a row. These people just have too much spanish fly. It's the start of the party season. (I didn't know it had a season.) Anyway, they drink all night and run with the bulls at 8a.m.

What surprised me the most was the number of guys over 60. It appears to be on their "Bucket List." Well, there's something that won't be going on my list. I don't have that page, "Things I should have done when I was young and stupid." Imagine if you get killed, stand before God and he says "Well old fellow, no need to ask how you got here, as you stand here with that bull horn up your ass."

There are only six bulls and six cows with a bell supposely to keep the bulls in line. I guess that it is something like taking your wife to a stag party. It only takes the bulls less than 2 1/2 min. to run the course. Perhaps men should be a little faster. Yesterdays score was Bulls 2 Men 0.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Verses Tar Balls

My day is ruined. The first thing I did this morning was to read the Home depot flyer. Found airport grade Driveway Sealer at $19.00. Two weeks ago I paid $30.00. I don't think this was deliberate. Pretty sure they didn't wait till I bought before they marked it down. The reason I was thinking that was because it went down to $23.00 the day after I bought them. I say them because I needed four. Wonder if that is as bad as buying a lottery ticket and finding out that the numbers on it were last weeks winners. Imagine that pain?

So Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. So who is this person? Has to be an actress. Probably a career drunk. The only thing I know about her is that she is interrupting the CNN coverage about tar balls. Three months may not be enough. The judge will be saying that when she sees the photo of her fingernails. I'll attach that photo.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Graduation: Falling Off A Cliff

My wife just told me an excuse to go shopping. We need metal inserts for paint rollers. She went on and on about the old ones, why we tossed them, about tarring the driveway, about lending one to someone and so forth and so forth. When she finished, I said,"That is so cute, you worked so hard on that excuse and it was so eloquent and all you had to do was say I'm going shopping."

O.K. I confess. I don't get it. Graduation time. It seems that you have to go to the dance in a limo and a $500.00 dress could be on the cheap side. You've just finished high school and you are now qualified to work at McDonalds and Wal-Mart. Just like falling off a cliff. Hopefully they have cash registers that tell you what change to give back. From what I've seen, read and heard, they think math is something theit parents had in school. Oops! I shouldn't use the word math. It should be arithmetic. But haven't you seen that. Cashiers that can't figure out what change to give back? I always feel sorry for them. Life will be a long road.

I remember my high school prom. My date was 15 years old and I was 17. All the guys made fun of me because she was so young.  I suppose if she had been 16, she would have been and older woman. Well smartasses, she's 65 now and the age difference wouldn't seem to matter that much. I did get better though, my wife is only one year younger than me.

A Lot Of Bull

What's with these Spainards and their bulls? Read an article this morning,"Bulls To the Sea". Same as the Running Of The Bulls except the end is a wharf where the young idiots trick them into an attack and Plop! in they go. I don't know if bulls can swim. I'm wondering if this is a way to pre salt the meat. Something else I've wondered about is what happens to the bulls in the ring after they are done in? Is there a mass barbacue or what? Anyway, this is a lot of bull and if you are running behind , a lot of bullshit.

You never see any protestors at these events. Can't interfer with anything that's a sport. Easier to protest the killing of seals. If you protest the killing of bulls, you would piss of a lot of people. But seals. You would only upset a few people. Those that use it for their livelihood. Another thing, you never see them protesting the killing of cows. Now that would really upset the apple cart. Imagine upsetting McDonalds. Anyway, I'm sure the protestors enjoy a good burger after a hard day of protesting. Hey, in there might be a solution. Maybe we can get them hooked on seal burgers.

See that the Queen is going to New York today. I guess you could say she is going from the frying pan into the fire. I'm referring to the temperature not the residents.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Long LIve The Queen and Tony Soprono

When I saw the latest picture of the Queen today, it reminded me of Tony Soprano. No, she doesn't look like Tony, but he goes to church and hits the track in the afternoon. Wonder if she makes any bets? Like "Philip, could you trot down and put 2 pounds on Runny Nose." No. Probably not. She would have a personal bookie like Lord Hot To Trot.
But I noticed she didn't go to the Gay Parade. Well, I didn't either. Anyway the races were probably more interesting. The Gay Parade-Some of those guys are just too gross for me.

I just went to Drudge to see if there was anything new. Same page for the last three days. Since they have become well known, they have become a lot lazier. Then again, why should I care. I don't pay for it. And a lot of it is just crap.

Lady Gaga sets Facebook record. Has more than 10 million fans. I learned something from that. Ther are at least 10 million idiots in the world. Plus the ones that changed the Wonder Woman costume.

Just came back from flipping thru channels. Ran into "The View." Eight women all talking the same time. What a racket. They sounded worse than the Vuvuzelas. Probably made just as much sense.

Wonder Woman n' Bin Laden

Yesterday morning I opened the newspaper and out fell one of those inserts. You know the ones, gardening, local news, etc. Well this one was a G8/20 insert. I found it hard to believe. They just keep harping on it. What did they expect. When you see that Gov. spent 1 billion for security, you know they were expecting something. And don't you read the paper. Every time they have one of these meetings, the assholes come out of the woodwork. They live for it and follow it around the world.
One of the funniest things I heard was from this girl who was arrested. She complained that the building she was put in had a cold cement floor. Oh, I'm sorry. But the Sheraton was all full up. Maybe all those arrested should spend a night in a cell with Big Bubba.
I hope our country has quit volunteering to have those things. There are 20 countries, so we shouldn't have to have it for another 20 yrs.

Had this Tweet this morning. "interesting that Wal-Mart employees could not wear 'patriotic' clothing on Independence day because it might offend someone." That's just over the top. I'm sure Bin Laden will be offended, but what the heck. He already knows you don't like him. Now this makes me wonder if they changed Wonder Woman's costume for the same reason. What a mess they made. Get rid of those Stars n' Stripes. Just give her some rags from the Thrift Store.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Ranting Continued

A few weeks ago we threw out a bunch of junk. My wife must have noticed the empty spots so we had to go yardsaleing the last two weeks. Didn't get anything yesterday. That's a good thing. Last week I got a dehumidifier. Fairly new. $149.00 in Canadian Tire. Owner said he bought a new house and it had a dehumidifier installed. Anyway, the bottom line is that I beat him down to $10.00. And I don't feel guilty about it. After all, it could have worked for 10 min. and then quit. Well, I don't and it didn't. I look at it as a gift from God. Because three days later mine started to make noise. I'll have to oil it and see if that cures it. God workes in mysterous ways. Wonder why he thought that guy only needed $10.00?

Never thought that I would think that summer tv shows about 10 years ago wern't that bad. Now they are really the pitts. Shows that started two weeks ago already have reruns. Not that they are good to start with.
I read this "Maradona in post-match altercation with German fans." It must have been the line on my bifocals. I thought it said Madonna. Off I went on an inner rant. "What has this witch got to do with it?" Oops! it was the male madonna. Doesn't matter!

Seeing all these twitters about Joey Chestnut. Who the hell is that? Looked it up. Oh! He's a glutton. Seems like he should be wearing a toga.


As you are aware, or if you are American, you are not aware, the Queen was here for a visit. To me, I don't care if she visits or not. I am not going to stand in a crowd just to look at her. That's fine for people who do that. That's their thing. They are not nutcases.

When I rant, I usually rant to myself. That's not venting, that's just getting grey. Anyway I was talking about the Queen before I interrupted myself. I was so glad the Queen arrived. Now you're wondering. I was glad because now the CBC News can switch over to something else besides the G8 & G20. That news just went on and on. Showing the same videos over and over. That guy must have smashed that window a 1000 times. Trying too hard to be like Americans. You have to remember that the Americans are a gun toting wild bunch with ten times the population. They are bound to have more eyeball glueing incidents. Maybe three a day. Here we have to settle with maybe one a week. Imagine on the edge of your seat for that. Show the news a couple of times a day. If there is nothing new, switch over to movies.

On second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea. Canadian content and all. Why did I write "and all." People always write that. I don't know what that even means. It just looks good.