Marihuana

 

My neighbor has taken up smoking marijuana. It smells like a skunk has pissed on my patio every morning. 

Noticed my neighbor throwing out his old water heater. Now that is something I haven't had for 25 yrs. I have heating coils in my furnace. No electric bill for a water tank.

The Truck

    The other day my neighbor went on vacation for two weeks and he gave me the keys to his truck. Great, I thought, I have some yard work to do. So he hands me the keys and says, " Don't worry about the red and orange lights, I have them all disconnected." So. I have to disregard all alarms. As he is leaving, he turns and says, " Don't go too far, it's almost out of gas." I guess that alarm still works.  Bet there is just enough gas to get me to the gas station.

Thorns

  

     Yesterday, my wife got me involved in a bit of skullduggery. It involves bushes on my neighbors property. First, I have to tell you about the property. I can't remember the last time there was any repairs done. When the ceilings started falling in, her friends convinced her to move to an apartment, which was not easy. She kept coming back, stay for awhile, and then back to the apartment. The visits got less and less and now I haven't seen her for awhile.
    While out for my walk the other day, I noticed a new piece of paper pinned to the front door. Every summer there were slips of paper telling her to cut the grass or else. This one said she owes back taxes since 2009. Pay up or it goes to auction on July 8. (Yes, I was nosy.) This has happened before, but she rushed in and paid the taxes. She hasn't been around to see the paper, so it may happen this time.
    Which brings me to the bushes. One is a lilac bush, which is getting wider and crushing our fence. My wife had me get out the chain saw and reduce it to half. The other was a thorn bush which became four bushes and started to spread to my yard. So we huffed and puffed and dug and pulled it out.
   Better done now. New neighbors might not like our antics.