When I saw the ad about the collapsible hose, I wondered if he got the idea from a bungee cord.

I guess the plans I have for what to do with my lottery win will have to be put on hold.

Memories can sometimes be a real pain in the ass.

Some people can't function without help, some countries are the same.

Wonder if the hurricane is coming on Thursday? Should check the lineup at the liquor store.

I use a hard tooth brush. I think a soft one only shines up the plaque.

The first loss for a politician is truth.

When you go to bed, sleep is sometimes hard to attain and when it arrives, it seems to last but a second.

When I was young, I wanted to join the Foreign Legion, but then I realized you had to know French. So I joined the R.C.A.F. Then I realized you had to know French.

Some people like to mention that they know someone who ran away to the circus. But I know someone who ran away from the circus.

Some people think that Trump is an ass, but lets face it, at times, aren't we all. The only time you are referred to as a great person is in your obituary.

Rule of 50: Give a book 50 pages. When you get to the bottom of Page 50, ask yourself if you're really liking the book. If you are, of course, then great, keep on reading. But if you're not, then put it down and look for another. Bad writers should probably write only 50 pages.

In Germany, Doctors travel to all of the accident scenes and do CPR and life saving techniques. Firefighters strictly fight fires.

Every day I wake up, I can't wait to see what stupid idea someone has come up with.

There are immigrants and then there are immigrants. Then there are more immigrants.

I think, in India, the moral compass points south.

I see "The BlueJays in 30 Show" has increased the number of slots for ads.

So I guess the protesters in the U.S. are saying that they want more migrants to cross the border.

Memories are like doors. We seem to insist on opening those that should always remain closed.

There are just too many books to read.