You often hear people reminisce about the good old days. Well, I remember something special - the toilet paper was a lot rougher. And it didn't matter whether it was Eaton's or Simpson's, it just didn't crumple up all that well. If you were out in the woods, you could always use grass. The flies would be on it before it hit the ground.
After the printing press came out, do you know what the most popular books were? You are going to say the Bible. Well no, it was books of poetry. The pages made fine toilet paper. They say you could see crumpled poetry pages tossed in the wind across the fields of England.
Did you ever wash you hands after going to an outdoor toilet? No bathroom sinks there. When you were a kid, and they called you shitty-pants, there probably was a reason. And when they said you were as green as grass, they probably meant your ass. Yep, you're as green as your ass.
