I see Canadian Club is taking on beer as the drink of choice for meals and sports games.

 

My new patio.

When I met my wife, I told her I could speak four languages. She soon realized that all I could do was order two beer in four languages

Aluminum can be recycled over and over again without any loss to quality, and a recycled beer can could be back on the shelf in 60 days.

Time Flies

Time passes fast. I just noticed it has been a month since wrote in here. I'll attribute it to the lack of excitement in my life. I could mention I went to have bladder stones removed last week, second time. I didn't go to the hospital for fifty years and all of a sudden, in three years, I've had four endoscopyies, two prostate operations, two bladder stone removals, and I have three other minor things coming up this year. It seems they have a hold of me now and won't let me go.

Raining out today. We need the rain and I may have to cut the lawn by the end of the week. I like it better than shoveling snow.

Last week I saw this woman parked out in front of my house. It was about 7:30 in the morning. I thought she must be waiting for the guy across the street. She seemed to be having her breakfast and after she finished up, she drove away. So I guess she parked there to eat. It's not like I'm of the main road, you have to drive another street before you get to mine.

I have a case of beer from my brother having twelve different types. Grabbed one the other day and reefed on the top. Found out it wasn't twist off. That's why we have two hands, the wounded one holds the beer while the other uses a bottle opener.

Attack On the Mini-bar

Ten minutes ago, it was spilling down raining, now it is snowing big time. Don't imagine the snow will last that long. It rained all day yesterday, but not much snow disappeared. I guess it is closer to ice than snow.

The front page today has a photo of a sandwich sigh with the words "Canada Games." It appears you can't do that. Trademarked name etc. Deep down, it just doesn't seem right. The name "Canada Games," belongs to all Canadians. I can see not wanting someone operating a factory making do-dads, but get a grip. Then again, greed will overcome common sense.

Our Lt.Governor, a black woman I should say, wants a holiday for Feb. And it should be for a female, black, civil rights activist. She did mention it definately had to be a woman. Reminds me of medical school.   
If you are male, white, anglo, you're screwed, unless your father or uncle is a doctor. Besides that, we don't need a holiday in Feb. Of course this comes from someone who is on holiday everyday.

Saw an ad for Mills. This is an upscale clothing store, where things are not cheap. The ad was for a prom dress, and even looking at it I can tell it is expensive. The point is, I think proms have gone way out of whack. Limos, tux, etc. And for what? To show the world you are qualified to get a job at McDonalds.
Speaking of McDonalds, I do get sick of the Mc this and Mc that.

The hotel mini-bar seems to be on the way out. People want the fridge, but not the small bottles of booze. Not that they have stopped drinking, they just want to put their own beer in there. And can you blame them. When I go to a motel, I don't even touch their bottles of water. I would probably go to the fridge and get one of my own beer.

This guy is pretty funny.And this clip is SOOOOOO true.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

Are You Green Bin Material?

Monday afternoon and a bit on the warm side. With humidity its 37C/98F. I was out in the shed for awhile. My wife needed some soldering done on a ring and then I thought I would sharpen my chainsaw. But the humidity was just too high, so I will get back to that later. Sat on the patio with an ice tea instead.

I was looking in the paper for an article I could poke fun at. Then I remembered an ad I saw the other day. The headline read,"We are extending our offer due to overwhelming response." With an opening gambit like that, it's sure to perk your interest, so I read on. The next line said that I would save the 15% GST. This is looking better, I don't have to pay the tax on it. Wonder what it could be? Maybe pizza, maybe chicken pieces, maybe beer? No, it wouldn't be beer. They don't need a sale on beer. That sells anyway. O.K., my interest is perked, time to read on.

"No Down Payment." This gets better by the sentence. "60 month interest free payment plan." Well, its not going to be a pizza or chicken wings. You wouldn't be paying for 60 months unless you bought the farm. Now I really have to read on, after all, overwhelming response.  What did I say about bought the farm?  I guess I was right there. The ad is for funerals.

Do you really believe they had an overwhelming response? What about the 60 month payment plan? How do they get the money? Do I give them post dated cheques or put it on Mastercard? What if the cheques bounce or there is no money in my account to pay the Mastercard? I'm sure relatives would clean out accounts and cancel cards. Would they dig me up and and stuff me in a green bin on the curb? Then I would be compose for your tomatoes.

I was reading the obituary page when I saw that ad. I should have known then. Nothing good ever comes from reading that page. It always seems to me that everyone I knew was always better off than me and was definately a better person than me. You go through life thinking that you're an average joe. Then you find out by reading everyone else's obituary how below average you really are and maybe the green bin on the curb is what you deserve. The alternative would be to write your own obituary or leave your money to a real good bullshitter.

Catholic Jokes and Bingo

Big rain and thunder today. Supposed to be 20C/68F. The grass needs the rain. Someone gave my neighbour a lawnmower, non working that is. Had that going in about 5 min. Have two of hers now, which I will combine to make one that will be better than mine. That's my plan. God may change that. I was supposed to take my daughter to Halifax to pick up glasses. May have to put that on hold. In and out of the van and wheelchair in the rain not a good idea.

Been some noise lately about children playing Bingo. One interview complained that this would lead to problem gamblers. My own thoughts on that are with pre-teens and teens learning poker, we are long past that. And the idea that this is a sport is beyond me. I always thought that sports require some exertion. Not sitting behind a table perhaps having a beer. Imagine in Olympic Boxing, "Hold that punch Bud, I need a swig of beer." Back to Bingo.  Kids have been playing Bingo as long as I can remember. Sometimes its a family outing. I can't imagine a slew of kids running out to play Bingo. Actually I can't imagine kids running.

I remember when I was young, there was always Catholic jokes. I'm catholic and I told the same jokes. Funny is funny. Masons have told me that when they made a speech, it should include a good Catholic joke.
At the top of the joke list would be Catholics and Bingo. Lately I watch tv and see the ads, "Masonic Bingo, seven nights a week." Now that's funny. Other jokes would be about eating fish on Friday. And what happens now? Everyone after fish oil capsuls. Need that Omega 3. It appears that some must have known something. And this must show that the churches are coming closer together. Everyone plays Bingo and want to eat fish and not just on Friday. God works in mysterous ways.

The paper this morning show almost a full page ad for a beer sale. Since you can only buy beer from a Government store, there is no competation. And people that are going to buy beer, go and buy it. A sale doesn't make much difference. Then again, maybe some stock up. From the sellers point of view, if they have it, they will drink it. The sale doesn't make much difference to me. Of course, this is from someone who drinks a beer a year and the last drink of liquor was at a family funeral three years ago.