Chinese Joke.

Why did God make women pretty and dumb? Pretty, so men would like them. Dumb, so they would like men.

Now I know why our ears stick out. To hold our Mask.

 

Heart Surgery Age

 

When I had my open heart surgery, I met a number of others having the same operation. The strange thing is they were all men and they were all 57 yrs. of age. I was 77.

Marihuana

 

My neighbor has taken up smoking marijuana. It smells like a skunk has pissed on my patio every morning. 

Monocle

 

I wear glasses but I am thinking of getting a monocle, one for each eye.

Darn! I got a splinter in the palm of my hand.

Night Romp

Most people know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. One thing for sure is, you don't lay around for a long time to think about it. 

Why put a pinch of salt in your oatmeal? To bring out the flavour.

It's weird going to the bank and being the only customer there.

Happy Days

It's amazing how many seniors get the urge to ride motorcycles. Will it really bring back "Happy Days?"

It's amazing how many stupid thoughts you have while you lie in bed and can't sleep.

TIME TRAVEL

 

If I ever happen to travel to the past, I hope I have a roll of toilet paper with me, just in case.

Ambulance Ride

When you have a serious health issue and are taken by ambulance, you realize that death is just a step away.

How the mind works, going from thought to thought, staying so long on some that it becomes annoying.

The past is the past, to be left behind.

Books in Heaven

I wonder if you are allowed to read books in heaven or if you have to pray and sing hymns all the time? After all, I'll have all of eternity. If I am able to read, then I will be able to read all the books I have. 

What's the most important thing that people learnt from working at home for the past year? How to work less and spend more time on breaks.

There are no saints in politics but imperfect people can still change the world for the better

The Weather Channel uses a lot of models.

 

YouTube Stars

They did a world-wide poll recently. They asked children what they wanted to be when they grew up. In Europe, Russia and China, the children wanted to be Astronauts but in North America they wanted to be YouTube stars. That would probably include Reality stars also. Certainly shows us where our head is.