PensionersRants

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sunday morning with rain, as predicted. Tomorrow, heavy rain. Most of the leaves are down and all we need now is a few dry days. Enough to finish what we need to do outside. I just remembered that today is Halloween. Kiddies at the door this evening. My wife has made up a bunch of small parcels for them. We are not one of those who turn out the lights and pretend that we are not home. Saw that awhile back, but when they had grandkids started doing the rounds, on came the lights.

My wife is in a happy mood. She saw in the paper that Giant Tiger is opening a store near us. Actually just up the road, in the building where my doctor used to have his office. The doctors built a new big clinic and even took the drug store with them. Get your precription written upstairs and get it filled downstairs.

"Comedians call for return to sanity" read the headline. It's part of that circus they call politics in the U.S. Comedians advising voters? Sounds like the inmates are in charge of the nuthouse. Well, this show will be over in a few days and they will start a new one, which also runs for two years.

Saw an article on necklaces yesterday. They were made to commemorate Canadian artists. The one I liked the best was for native artist Pauline Johnson. Shaped like an eagles feather. Very unique.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Hand Me Up Laptop

Wed. and raining, the second in five predicted rainy days. An assistance the trees need to rid themselves from leaves. Have you heard leaves don't fall off trees, trees knock them off? They have this protection so snow doesn't accumulate on the leaves and break the branches. Since we have rain for the week, I have to wait to run the lawn mower over them. Chopped into smaller pieces, the leaves may blow away.
Ou new medical card arrived from Sun Life. It eliminates signing forms for each visit to the drug store.

My son bought a new laptop over the weekend which means I get upgraded to a new to me computer. He spent the last few days setting them up and doing all the file transfers. The operating system is different on this laptop which means some learning for me.

"TV needs more normal size" reads an article in today's paper. It appears we don't have enough overweight celebrities. You would have a hard time convincing me to classify overweight as normal. I would say perhaps just the opposite. Trying to convince people otherwise appears shame. Diabetes, knee replacement, heart disease and a shortened life span, the reward.

Just opposite this page I read an article on obese children in Texas. A long, obese children lineup and all I could visualize for them was a life of pain, both physical and mental.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Even Chesterfields Have Secrets (Flash Fiction)

The chesterfield was faded, old, dumpy and now discarded. After faitfully serving for years, it now sat on the curb waiting for garbage pickup. It had lived in an older house, on a tree lined street. Brought to the house new, it had enjoyed many happy years with the family.

The hockey games, birthdays and Christmas. The chesterfield  shared in all. It was there to console people, sick or alone and it was also party to first kisses. Parents or children curled up on its bulk to watch TV.  Pets used it to nap on when alone. Life for the chesterfield seemed perfect.

The people in the house shared not the same feeling. The years as a family member meant nothing. Shamefully tossed aside into the rain, it waited through the darkness for its fate. If only it could speak, what secrets it would tell. Hidden secrets which some people would want to remain hidden. But it also contained some secrets which should not remain hidden.

The lady from the house had passed away. The children had moved away. Now the man from the house, in his senior years, lived alone. Presently, confined to a hospital, he couldn't look after his possessions back at the house.

The man from the house, involved in a car accident, though not serious, had to stay in the hospital for awhile. While laid up, his daughter came to visit him. She would visit him each day and stay at the house till he recovered. Neglected for years, the house needed a good cleaning. So she took on the task and hoped to finish it before her father came home from the hospital.

The old chesterfield, now moved from the living room to the rec room, had reached the age of retirement. A neighbor helped her drag the collapsing relic to the curb. He commented on the chesterfields condition with its many lumpy spots.

Soon the garbage truck came. They grabbed the chesterfield and threw it into the truck composter. The chesterfield tried to scream but no one heard him. "Wait, wait, I have to tell you something. I have a secret. You have to listen, to something very important." But no one heard as it became crushed by the giant door and pushed back into the refuse.

In the hospital, the old man thought about his future. He thought he should do some travelling. No time like the present.  He had worked all his life and saved his money for the last forty years. He thought he and his wife would have financial freedom for their golden years. Now alone, the money just waited for him at home. The old man almost laughed out loud, when he thought about his money pile, all stuffed into his chesterfield.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Halloween Angels (Flash Fiction)

Dearly departed, we have gathered here to say farewell to our dear brother John, who has passed on through the light. As a human, he had weaknesses as we all do, and he sinned as we all have. God has forgiven him his sins, but some restitution still remained, which required some extra time on earth. This time gives the opportunity to make all things right.

As you know, everyone has a guardian angel to protect them. Because John had to stay on earth for a while longer, God gave him the job helping angels protect children. Knowing the importance attached to this job, John went into it with all his heart. Some would say, "in with both feet."

Sometimes John became too involved with his charges. Such as helping them with their homework or telling them where to look for the hidden Christmas presents. At times like these, a guardian angel had to step in and speak to him. But the angels knew John loved the children so much and he would do anything for them.

He protected them at their swimming holes, when they drove their bicycles into the street and when strangers wanted to talk to them. John's last day on the job involved protecting children on Halloween. For children, the most dangerous day in the year.

This year John joined parents, children and their angels. He watched them going from house to house collecting all their goodies. His children's group had a few parents as chaperones. During all the excitement, one child went astray. Her guardian angel and John stayed with her and coaxed her to a bench under a street light. There they waited.

Sometimes small children can see ghosts but not their guardian angel. She liked John and talked with him about the things she liked. John told her he liked ice cream more than anything else. The guarding angel and John knew her parents had started looking for her. And sure enough, they soon saw a police car coming down the road.

When the police car with her parents arrived, they asked the little girl what made her stay on the bench. She told them she spent the time talking to the nice man in the white suit and pointed to John. Naturally the grownups couldn't see our John and brushed it off as a little girl with an imaginary friend.

This kindness towards a child completed John's time on earth. Applause greeted his arrival into heaven.  God said to him, "John, you have done an excellent job, welcome to heaven. And John, have an ice cream."

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Proper Dress and Good Manners

When you awake in the morning, you have no idea where this day may take you. You assume it will start with a coffee, breakfast and the newspaper.

 My wife shows concern for our thirty-seven year old daughter, bed ridden with cerebral palsy, tube fed and having an uncomfortable day. Unable to speak, we have to find out the hard way what problem she may have. My wife has noticed a swollen foot and it has turned black and blue. She suggests a hospital visit and I agree. Our project for the day. Accustomed to E.R. visits, I expect a four hour visit.

I asked my wife if I should wear jeans. Her expected reply was,"definately not." She belives proper dress gets proper treatment. Just to mention a point, when I go to mass on sunday, I never wear jeans. I tell people," when Queen Elizabeth invites them to dinner, they won't be wearing jeans."

Arriving at the hospital, we notice three waiting for signing in and the same for the interview. Four waiting on a doctor. One thing I notice about hospitals, the greeting I get from men in my age bracket. Probably the acknowlegement one receives upon reaching this age. All paperwork completed in twenty minutes and we wait.

Sitting in the waiting room, I notice most patients have a sore foot. Obviously a foot day. I notice two TV monitors. One selected to a channel and the other to a notice board. Children seem more interested in the large fish tank next to the channel TV.

The patients have their entourage with them and I wonder if some have forgotten their meds.

After twenty minutes, a side door opens and a nurse tells us to come in. We see a smaller waiting room equipped like an emergency room. She says,"You can wait here, out from the general population." She tells us her name a few times, so we will remember it. After ten minutes she returns and tells us they have a room ready for us. "You still have to wait your turn since we have seven people before you" she says taking us to a room across from the nurses station.

Later on a female doctor arrives. Wiyh exceptional courtesy, she inquires, checks, discusses and orders a blood test and an x-ray. Two nurses arrive to take the blood test. An aide normally comes to take the patient to the x-ray room. When the aide arrived, the nurse told her everyone would go to the x-ray room and she would accompny us to see all goes smoothly.

Later back at our room, a nurse brought us coffee and bicsuits. The x-ray results showed a small crack in the heel. They decided on a soft cast, the name for a bandage. With this completed, we departed. Time elapsed,  four and one half hours.

P.S. Have I mentioned you should dress properly when you go to the hospital?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Power That Be

Here it is Tuesdaay and the temp. is 10C/50F. There is no wind so it is fairly nice out. Had to do some chores this morning. Go to the bank, cheques in, cash out. Get a haircut. Yes, still have to do that, though not as often. Instead of going bald starting at the top and working outward, it's from the forehead working back. I think you get to keep your hair a while longer that way.

A headline today says, "N.S. Power turning up the heat." For some people that will mean turning down the heat. The upper crust need their pay increases and bonuses.

Remember the saying, "If its not broke, don't fix it?" Personally I think that is a stupid statement. Especially when it relates to the power co. Can you imagine a pole hanging over? No, don't fix it, wait till it drops. That's the American system. If you spend any money, it will be deducted from the bottom line. That's why they have such horrific accidents down there. Don't do their maintenance.

In this way the power co. is. trying to act like Americans. A hurricane will come and knock down the old stuff and that is what they will repair. I certainly don't like that system. A couple of years ago, they tore up our street and replaced all the water pipes. Not because they were leaking, but because they were fourty years old. Now they don't have to worry about those pipes for another fourty years.

Had another chore this morning. To move a mattress from one side of the city to another. Because I have a van that a mattress can fit into, I get to be the go to matress guy. And I was paid for my troubles. After I was finished, I got a cup of tea and cookies. Not too expensive, am I? Oh! I also got to pat the dog. That was networking.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Conversation with My Wife

Conversation this morning:


Jack: "I'm cooking bacon."

Betty: "Not too much."

Jack : "I'm cooking the whole package."

Betty: "6, not more, not less."

Jack: "I'm talking about bacon."

Betty: "I'm talking about tonight's weather."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Eagle Or Turkey?

http://0.tqn.com/d/webclipart/1/0/3/E/2/b46s.jpg - 34.2 KYesterday was 'Thanksgiving' and today is a holiday. Like our American neighbours, we have the Thanksgiving Turkey tradition. But in my house, not this year. That went out the window. Not the turkey, the tradition. But don't worry. This was not a blatant attack on traditions. It came about because of a problem that had to be resolved and the resolution was to eat the turkey two weeks ago. Not only that, but we ate it on a Thursday. You can't get farther away from tradition than that. Which proves that it really was an emergency.
Two weeks ago my wife went shopping with a friend. Frozen items on sale were too good to pass up and it appears that my wife imagenary freezer is a lot larger than our real one. So out comes the turkey and all is partly right with the world. So after days of turkey, turkey sandwiches, turkey with fries and turkey soup, the turkey is gone. My wife, opening the freezer finds an empty space about the size of a turkey. This won't do. After the next trip shopping, she fills the spot with the Christmas turkey.
We know that the turkey is an American bird. But did you know that at one point in time, it was put forward that the turkey should be the national bird instead of the eagle. I have a hard time imagining that. The slogan "To soar like a turkey," just doesn't do anything for me. I don't think turkeys do much soaring. It would need another slogan, associated with something else. How about marathons? "Join the Boston Marathon and run like a turkey."
And what about the other side of the coin? Dinner. People would say,"Come to my house and have some bald eagle dinner." Just gets you, doesn't it?
This idea of the turkey was put forward by Benjamin Franklin. When his friends heard about it, they probably said, "Ben, go fly a kite." And he did.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Not A Prisoner Of Love

Over crowded prisons. We usually associate this problem with the U.S. So it comes as bit of a smackdown that we are prone to the same problem. What makes me wonder is how we arrived at this state? Has the prisoner rate to the population changed that much? Or is it because of a higher population gives more prisoners keeping the rate the same?
Although I am unable to answer these questions, the fact remains the same. Too many prisoners. Appearing to be unsolveable, the solution appeared to be as easy as falling off a log. There seems to be two classes of prisoners. Some people, not the best and the brightest, get sentences of weekend incarceration only. So the plan was hatched that depending on the amount of beds available for any given weekend, excess prisoners could get to return home after reporting in.
It's a win win situation for the prisoners. They get to stay home for the weekend and it's counted against their jail time. As far as the political parties are concerned, I didn't know about it and it's the other guy's fault. Reminds me when someone drops one in a busy room. "It wasn't me." It still stinks.

If they legalize prostitution in Nova Scotia, all the Johns will be happy, not to mention all the Tom, Dick and Harry's. Maybe the occasional Mary also.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I Can Sell My Gold And Buy A Lottery Ticket At The Hospital

At one time hospitals were places you went when you got sick. It was filled with patients and medical staff. But now a hospital is not worth its salt unless it is home to a mini mall. It started out with a donut shop and has steadly grown, indicating that there are more than one type of virus in a hospital. The latest kiosk installed wants to buy your old gold and silver. Just like the TV ads except you don't have to put it in an envolope. You would think that they would come up with something better than that. Maybe they could have a lawyer there making out last wills. How about a funeral home, with samples of coffins? That would be a real eye catcher, wouldn't it? That would look real good next to the donut shop. Think it would hurt their business?

Have you heard about the lottery scam in Ontario? This happened seven years ago and was just deteted now. Seems that a convenience store owner and son failed to give a winner his free ticket. Probably not the first and it was the cheapest way to buy lottery tickets. Just by luck, that ticket won 12.5 million dollars. He gave the ticket to his daughter to claim, keeping suspicion of the store. Strange as it may seem, he was found out seven yrs. later. They lose all the cars, houses and are turfed into the slammer. So far they haven't found the real winner. After all it was seven yrs. ago.
But there is no shortage of honest Canadians willing to help. No shortage of potential prize winners. Claimants for the prize are coming out of the woodwork. "Yes,yes, I'm sure it was me. I remember bringing in a winning ticket that day. What store did you say it was?"

When I go to buy a lottery ticket, there is one thing that irriates me. The lady in front of me purchases a scratch ticket and scratches it at the counter. Not winning, she will buy another, scratch it and continues her annoying habit till she runs out of money. Meanwhile I stand and wait, with my money in my hot little hand, knowing fair well that the winning ticket that should have been mine is now in someone's else's hand.

"The backup camera in your car shows you your accident before it happens."~ J. Sakalauskas

Monday, October 4, 2010

Street Hockey Not For Everyone

Street hockey. Every summer you can expect this subject to be in the pages of our newspaper. And judging from the articles, it certainly appears that they are an advocate of this passtime. But, I am afraid that not everyone is so inclined. This article, like all others brings to our attention the fact that some people complain about it. Kids playing in the street, some neighbours complain and the next thing you know the police are at the door.
In this article, the Minister of Transportation commented that he carried a hockey stick in the back of his truck and that he was going down to that street to see if he could get up a game. Of course he is not going to do that, he's just playing politics. Politicians are famous for making stupid remarks and this is no exception. You do know that politicians are not the smartest apples in the basket, don't you? They just have the art of rambling on with what you want to hear.
I have been on occasion the motorist that comes upon a street hockey game. For the most part children move aside. But there has been times that the children forget who the legal user of the road is. Perhaps the residents of this street complained because of this. Maybe it was the noise. Or maybe it was something that no one ever mentions. The person working nightshift, who gets home at seven in the morning and deserves to be upset about noisy children and irate drivers.
The article also made a big issue about obesity and children's execise. It appears that street hockey is the only summer sport. In my old age, I failed to notice that all the summer sports had disappeared. Since school has started, I'm sure street hockey has petered out. Soon the snow will come and the kids will be inside. You certainly won't see them outside shoveling snow. So I guess you can say that weight loss has to be fun and not work.

"Everyone gets in an arguement and everyone loses."

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Change Of Life

Sometimes with a political system, you have to grab it by the tail and give it a little shake. Just like a mat, it may be full of dustballs. Take Cuba for example, there you may need a vacuum cleaner. It thought it would be the showcase of the communist world. But without the backing of the American Mafia, it soon fell into decay.
Sometime new ideas are just repackaged old ideas. My thoughts on this is that Fidel Castro realizes that it is not working and he doesn't want to lose face by changing it back. Ye old rock and hard place. To stay where they are is at the least standing still if not regressing. How long can those old Chevrolets last?
Enter Raul Castro. Younger brother of Fidel. New plan brother. You do this and you can keep the credit. I have decided that we should be a capitalist country. The Americans will then come in with their money and fix this place up. Good plan Fidel. Give me five. Can I get a Cadillac?
So now the dustballs, furballs, fuzzballs will be all gone. The only thing they will have to worry about is the scumballs. Wait a minute, isn't that the American Mafia? So I guess it is true, what goes around, comes around.
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