Drinking Water

 The "drink eight glasses of water a day" is based on a 1945 recommendation that had no medical basis. The current recommendation is "drink when you are thirsty, unless you are outside on a hot day or are elderly - then drink a bit more."

Water the Garden

 

I told my wife about this guy I saw on Facebook watering his garden. He put the hose in the top of the water can and just walked around with it, watering the plants, not having to go back and fill the can. My wife said, "Why doesn't he just use the sprayer on the hose?"

THE WATERMELON

My wife bought a watermelon yesterday and left it on the counter all night. This morning I hear from my wife. "Dear, come look at this, the counter is covered in water. Ther must be something wrong with your coffee machine." I couldn't figure how that could be since I don't leave water in it but just maybe I put water in it yesterday and forgot to make the coffee. So, I told her I would put water in and just let it sit and see what happens. Did that and put some paper towel under the watermelon. Came back twenty minutes later and the towel was soaked. Leaky watermelon not bad coffee machine. 

What happens next?  I told my wife to return it and get another one. I don't like donating money to a supermarket. Most people would throw out that watermelon. I know they would. Don't want the extra chore, can't be bothered, too much trouble, it's only $3.00 yada, yada, yada. But would you take three dollars from your pocket and throw it in the garbage, I don't think so. People waste money on a daily basis and then complain about their lack of funds. We live in a capitalist system, and they don't even teach in school how to look after your money. When it comes to money, most people are pretty dumb.

My wife thought they would blame it on her, that maybe she broke it and caused the leak. Anyway, she returned it and didn't get another. Some of the other ones were leaking and the rest looked iffy. They took our watermelon and returned it to the pile. Then she bought bananas. Winners, all the way around. 

 

If you cut a piece out of the side of your bathtub so you can step in, I guess it is no longer a bathtub.

A Burst of Vitamins

Amazon Vitamins

Just before supper yesterday, I took some vitamins. The thing is, one got stuck in my throat. Not a big problem, it would eventually fall apart but it was uncomfortable. Drank water three times to no avail. I didn't want to eat anything till it was gone, didn't want more problems. After awhile I could feel it breaking apart. I gave a little cough and out came a cloud of white dust. That was funny. I looked like Puff the Dragon. 

If you drink a gallon of water a day, you won't be interested in other people's drama because you will be too busy peeing.

I once knew a guy whose name was Clowater. He used to sign his name CLO H2O.

Heavy rain yesterday. I was waiting for that, to check on something. When there is heavy rain,

the back of my yard is like a swimming pool. It takes a while for the water to drain off. A couple of weeks ago, it so happened that the house next door was getting new roof shingles and drains. The house is two story, so the drain pipes are quite long, coming in 12' sections. One of them was just what I needed for a drain in my back yard. So, I dug a trench, 1' deep. Had to use an ax and chainsaw to get through the roots. Laid the pipe, put some mesh on the front and filled the hole at the front with gravel. Filled it all in and waited for the rain. When it did rain, I noticed that the only visible water was just above the gravel, which disappeared when the rain slowed down. Now I have to get a flat rock, write drain on it, and lay it at the top of the pipe. If there is ever a problem, like the drain getting plugged, people will know there is a drain there.

Premonation

While editing my next book, I came across these sentences.

"He looked at the choppy "whitecaps" and visualized a Roman trireme under full sail with its slave operated oars dipping in the water. He wondered how many ships lay beneath them and how many sailors are destined to have their ashes spread over its waves. "
 
A year later my next door neighbor had his ashes spread over the Mediterranean.

Rubber Hose

    I went to see a friend of mine last week. He lives around the corner. The first thing he said was that his garden hose blew up. I couldn't get my head around that. He said, "yeah. it blew up." Then he explained to me that it was one of those hoses you see on T.V. The one that grows when you put the water in, then shrinks when the water runs out.
    He took me to have a look at it. There it was, a long snake with the side blown out. What it is, is a wire mesh that expands, and inside is a hose like a balloon. Not he thickness of an inner tube, but the thickness of a balloon. A spot on the wire mesh had broken so that the balloon made a bubble at that spot. It kept growing, and then 'Boom,' water everywhere. And that's the saga of the hose that blew up.