PensionersRants

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Requiem for a Toaster.

On the 26th. of May, 2020, a chrome toaster that went by the name of GE passed away at the age of 52, from what is believed to be electrical shock. A faithful toaster who worked daily since his conception in 1968, was made in the U.S. of A. and was purchased as a wedding present at a CANEX outlet in Baden, W. Germany. He had travel experience in Europe and Canada and loved being with his friends coffee maker, Nutri Bullet and Magic Bullet who will sorely miss him. Also missing him will be his extended family of plates, knives and spoons.
Funeral arrangements have not been made because of an autopsy planned for tomorrow. There is some suspicion of foul play with the main suspect being my son. He was the last one to see it functioning and told no one that it no longer worked. His alibi is that it worked fine when he used it. It must have been the next person who is at fault. Since I was the next person to use it, I find his statement to be untrue. As of yet, it is not known if it was a homicide, suicide or just plain old age. The results of the autopsy will be posted at a later date.