Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sunday morning with rain, as predicted. Tomorrow, heavy rain. Most of the leaves are down and all we need now is a few dry days. Enough to finish what we need to do outside. I just remembered that today is Halloween. Kiddies at the door this evening. My wife has made up a bunch of small parcels for them. We are not one of those who turn out the lights and pretend that we are not home. Saw that awhile back, but when they had grandkids started doing the rounds, on came the lights.

My wife is in a happy mood. She saw in the paper that Giant Tiger is opening a store near us. Actually just up the road, in the building where my doctor used to have his office. The doctors built a new big clinic and even took the drug store with them. Get your precription written upstairs and get it filled downstairs.

"Comedians call for return to sanity" read the headline. It's part of that circus they call politics in the U.S. Comedians advising voters? Sounds like the inmates are in charge of the nuthouse. Well, this show will be over in a few days and they will start a new one, which also runs for two years.

Saw an article on necklaces yesterday. They were made to commemorate Canadian artists. The one I liked the best was for native artist Pauline Johnson. Shaped like an eagles feather. Very unique.

A Hand Me Up Laptop

Wed. and raining, the second in five predicted rainy days. An assistance the trees need to rid themselves from leaves. Have you heard leaves don't fall off trees, trees knock them off? They have this protection so snow doesn't accumulate on the leaves and break the branches. Since we have rain for the week, I have to wait to run the lawn mower over them. Chopped into smaller pieces, the leaves may blow away.
Ou new medical card arrived from Sun Life. It eliminates signing forms for each visit to the drug store.

My son bought a new laptop over the weekend which means I get upgraded to a new to me computer. He spent the last few days setting them up and doing all the file transfers. The operating system is different on this laptop which means some learning for me.

"TV needs more normal size" reads an article in today's paper. It appears we don't have enough overweight celebrities. You would have a hard time convincing me to classify overweight as normal. I would say perhaps just the opposite. Trying to convince people otherwise appears shame. Diabetes, knee replacement, heart disease and a shortened life span, the reward.

Just opposite this page I read an article on obese children in Texas. A long, obese children lineup and all I could visualize for them was a life of pain, both physical and mental.

Even Chesterfields Have Secrets (Flash Fiction)

The chesterfield was faded, old, dumpy and now discarded. After faitfully serving for years, it now sat on the curb waiting for garbage pickup. It had lived in an older house, on a tree lined street. Brought to the house new, it had enjoyed many happy years with the family.

The hockey games, birthdays and Christmas. The chesterfield  shared in all. It was there to console people, sick or alone and it was also party to first kisses. Parents or children curled up on its bulk to watch TV.  Pets used it to nap on when alone. Life for the chesterfield seemed perfect.

The people in the house shared not the same feeling. The years as a family member meant nothing. Shamefully tossed aside into the rain, it waited through the darkness for its fate. If only it could speak, what secrets it would tell. Hidden secrets which some people would want to remain hidden. But it also contained some secrets which should not remain hidden.

The lady from the house had passed away. The children had moved away. Now the man from the house, in his senior years, lived alone. Presently, confined to a hospital, he couldn't look after his possessions back at the house.

The man from the house, involved in a car accident, though not serious, had to stay in the hospital for awhile. While laid up, his daughter came to visit him. She would visit him each day and stay at the house till he recovered. Neglected for years, the house needed a good cleaning. So she took on the task and hoped to finish it before her father came home from the hospital.

The old chesterfield, now moved from the living room to the rec room, had reached the age of retirement. A neighbor helped her drag the collapsing relic to the curb. He commented on the chesterfields condition with its many lumpy spots.

Soon the garbage truck came. They grabbed the chesterfield and threw it into the truck composter. The chesterfield tried to scream but no one heard him. "Wait, wait, I have to tell you something. I have a secret. You have to listen, to something very important." But no one heard as it became crushed by the giant door and pushed back into the refuse.

In the hospital, the old man thought about his future. He thought he should do some travelling. No time like the present.  He had worked all his life and saved his money for the last forty years. He thought he and his wife would have financial freedom for their golden years. Now alone, the money just waited for him at home. The old man almost laughed out loud, when he thought about his money pile, all stuffed into his chesterfield.

Halloween Angels (Flash Fiction)

Dearly departed, we have gathered here to say farewell to our dear brother John, who has passed on through the light. As a human, he had weaknesses as we all do, and he sinned as we all have. God has forgiven him his sins, but some restitution still remained, which required some extra time on earth. This time gives the opportunity to make all things right.

As you know, everyone has a guardian angel to protect them. Because John had to stay on earth for a while longer, God gave him the job helping angels protect children. Knowing the importance attached to this job, John went into it with all his heart. Some would say, "in with both feet."

Sometimes John became too involved with his charges. Such as helping them with their homework or telling them where to look for the hidden Christmas presents. At times like these, a guardian angel had to step in and speak to him. But the angels knew John loved the children so much and he would do anything for them.

He protected them at their swimming holes, when they drove their bicycles into the street and when strangers wanted to talk to them. John's last day on the job involved protecting children on Halloween. For children, the most dangerous day in the year.

This year John joined parents, children and their angels. He watched them going from house to house collecting all their goodies. His children's group had a few parents as chaperones. During all the excitement, one child went astray. Her guardian angel and John stayed with her and coaxed her to a bench under a street light. There they waited.

Sometimes small children can see ghosts but not their guardian angel. She liked John and talked with him about the things she liked. John told her he liked ice cream more than anything else. The guarding angel and John knew her parents had started looking for her. And sure enough, they soon saw a police car coming down the road.

When the police car with her parents arrived, they asked the little girl what made her stay on the bench. She told them she spent the time talking to the nice man in the white suit and pointed to John. Naturally the grownups couldn't see our John and brushed it off as a little girl with an imaginary friend.

This kindness towards a child completed John's time on earth. Applause greeted his arrival into heaven.  God said to him, "John, you have done an excellent job, welcome to heaven. And John, have an ice cream."

Proper Dress and Good Manners

When you awake in the morning, you have no idea where this day may take you. You assume it will start with a coffee, breakfast and the newspaper.

 My wife shows concern for our thirty-seven year old daughter, bed ridden with cerebral palsy, tube fed and having an uncomfortable day. Unable to speak, we have to find out the hard way what problem she may have. My wife has noticed a swollen foot and it has turned black and blue. She suggests a hospital visit and I agree. Our project for the day. Accustomed to E.R. visits, I expect a four hour visit.

I asked my wife if I should wear jeans. Her expected reply was,"definately not." She belives proper dress gets proper treatment. Just to mention a point, when I go to mass on sunday, I never wear jeans. I tell people," when Queen Elizabeth invites them to dinner, they won't be wearing jeans."

Arriving at the hospital, we notice three waiting for signing in and the same for the interview. Four waiting on a doctor. One thing I notice about hospitals, the greeting I get from men in my age bracket. Probably the acknowlegement one receives upon reaching this age. All paperwork completed in twenty minutes and we wait.

Sitting in the waiting room, I notice most patients have a sore foot. Obviously a foot day. I notice two TV monitors. One selected to a channel and the other to a notice board. Children seem more interested in the large fish tank next to the channel TV.

The patients have their entourage with them and I wonder if some have forgotten their meds.

After twenty minutes, a side door opens and a nurse tells us to come in. We see a smaller waiting room equipped like an emergency room. She says,"You can wait here, out from the general population." She tells us her name a few times, so we will remember it. After ten minutes she returns and tells us they have a room ready for us. "You still have to wait your turn since we have seven people before you" she says taking us to a room across from the nurses station.

Later on a female doctor arrives. Wiyh exceptional courtesy, she inquires, checks, discusses and orders a blood test and an x-ray. Two nurses arrive to take the blood test. An aide normally comes to take the patient to the x-ray room. When the aide arrived, the nurse told her everyone would go to the x-ray room and she would accompny us to see all goes smoothly.

Later back at our room, a nurse brought us coffee and bicsuits. The x-ray results showed a small crack in the heel. They decided on a soft cast, the name for a bandage. With this completed, we departed. Time elapsed,  four and one half hours.

P.S. Have I mentioned you should dress properly when you go to the hospital?

The Power That Be

Here it is Tuesdaay and the temp. is 10C/50F. There is no wind so it is fairly nice out. Had to do some chores this morning. Go to the bank, cheques in, cash out. Get a haircut. Yes, still have to do that, though not as often. Instead of going bald starting at the top and working outward, it's from the forehead working back. I think you get to keep your hair a while longer that way.

A headline today says, "N.S. Power turning up the heat." For some people that will mean turning down the heat. The upper crust need their pay increases and bonuses.

Remember the saying, "If its not broke, don't fix it?" Personally I think that is a stupid statement. Especially when it relates to the power co. Can you imagine a pole hanging over? No, don't fix it, wait till it drops. That's the American system. If you spend any money, it will be deducted from the bottom line. That's why they have such horrific accidents down there. Don't do their maintenance.

In this way the power co. is. trying to act like Americans. A hurricane will come and knock down the old stuff and that is what they will repair. I certainly don't like that system. A couple of years ago, they tore up our street and replaced all the water pipes. Not because they were leaking, but because they were fourty years old. Now they don't have to worry about those pipes for another fourty years.

Had another chore this morning. To move a mattress from one side of the city to another. Because I have a van that a mattress can fit into, I get to be the go to matress guy. And I was paid for my troubles. After I was finished, I got a cup of tea and cookies. Not too expensive, am I? Oh! I also got to pat the dog. That was networking.

Conversation with My Wife

Conversation this morning:


Jack: "I'm cooking bacon."

Betty: "Not too much."

Jack : "I'm cooking the whole package."

Betty: "6, not more, not less."

Jack: "I'm talking about bacon."

Betty: "I'm talking about tonight's weather."

Eagle Or Turkey?

Yesterday was 'Thanksgiving' and today is a holiday. Like our American neighbours, we have the Thanksgiving Turkey tradition. But in my house, not this year. That went out the window. Not the turkey, the tradition. But don't worry. This was not a blatant attack on traditions. It came about because of a problem that had to be resolved and the resolution was to eat the turkey two weeks ago. Not only that, but we ate it on a Thursday. You can't get farther away from tradition than that. Which proves that it really was an emergency.
Two weeks ago my wife went shopping with a friend. Frozen items on sale were too good to pass up and it appears that my wife imagenary freezer is a lot larger than our real one. So out comes the turkey and all is partly right with the world. So after days of turkey, turkey sandwiches, turkey with fries and turkey soup, the turkey is gone. My wife, opening the freezer finds an empty space about the size of a turkey. This won't do. After the next trip shopping, she fills the spot with the Christmas turkey.
We know that the turkey is an American bird. But did you know that at one point in time, it was put forward that the turkey should be the national bird instead of the eagle. I have a hard time imagining that. The slogan "To soar like a turkey," just doesn't do anything for me. I don't think turkeys do much soaring. It would need another slogan, associated with something else. How about marathons? "Join the Boston Marathon and run like a turkey."
And what about the other side of the coin? Dinner. People would say,"Come to my house and have some bald eagle dinner." Just gets you, doesn't it?
This idea of the turkey was put forward by Benjamin Franklin. When his friends heard about it, they probably said, "Ben, go fly a kite." And he did.

Not A Prisoner Of Love

Over crowded prisons. We usually associate this problem with the U.S. So it comes as bit of a smackdown that we are prone to the same problem. What makes me wonder is how we arrived at this state? Has the prisoner rate to the population changed that much? Or is it because of a higher population gives more prisoners keeping the rate the same?
Although I am unable to answer these questions, the fact remains the same. Too many prisoners. Appearing to be unsolveable, the solution appeared to be as easy as falling off a log. There seems to be two classes of prisoners. Some people, not the best and the brightest, get sentences of weekend incarceration only. So the plan was hatched that depending on the amount of beds available for any given weekend, excess prisoners could get to return home after reporting in.
It's a win win situation for the prisoners. They get to stay home for the weekend and it's counted against their jail time. As far as the political parties are concerned, I didn't know about it and it's the other guy's fault. Reminds me when someone drops one in a busy room. "It wasn't me." It still stinks.

If they legalize prostitution in Nova Scotia, all the Johns will be happy, not to mention all the Tom, Dick and Harry's. Maybe the occasional Mary also.

I Can Sell My Gold And Buy A Lottery Ticket At The Hospital

At one time hospitals were places you went when you got sick. It was filled with patients and medical staff. But now a hospital is not worth its salt unless it is home to a mini mall. It started out with a donut shop and has steadly grown, indicating that there are more than one type of virus in a hospital. The latest kiosk installed wants to buy your old gold and silver. Just like the TV ads except you don't have to put it in an envolope. You would think that they would come up with something better than that. Maybe they could have a lawyer there making out last wills. How about a funeral home, with samples of coffins? That would be a real eye catcher, wouldn't it? That would look real good next to the donut shop. Think it would hurt their business?

Have you heard about the lottery scam in Ontario? This happened seven years ago and was just deteted now. Seems that a convenience store owner and son failed to give a winner his free ticket. Probably not the first and it was the cheapest way to buy lottery tickets. Just by luck, that ticket won 12.5 million dollars. He gave the ticket to his daughter to claim, keeping suspicion of the store. Strange as it may seem, he was found out seven yrs. later. They lose all the cars, houses and are turfed into the slammer. So far they haven't found the real winner. After all it was seven yrs. ago.
But there is no shortage of honest Canadians willing to help. No shortage of potential prize winners. Claimants for the prize are coming out of the woodwork. "Yes,yes, I'm sure it was me. I remember bringing in a winning ticket that day. What store did you say it was?"

When I go to buy a lottery ticket, there is one thing that irriates me. The lady in front of me purchases a scratch ticket and scratches it at the counter. Not winning, she will buy another, scratch it and continues her annoying habit till she runs out of money. Meanwhile I stand and wait, with my money in my hot little hand, knowing fair well that the winning ticket that should have been mine is now in someone's else's hand.

"The backup camera in your car shows you your accident before it happens."~ J. Sakalauskas

Street Hockey Not For Everyone

Street hockey. Every summer you can expect this subject to be in the pages of our newspaper. And judging from the articles, it certainly appears that they are an advocate of this passtime. But, I am afraid that not everyone is so inclined. This article, like all others brings to our attention the fact that some people complain about it. Kids playing in the street, some neighbours complain and the next thing you know the police are at the door.
In this article, the Minister of Transportation commented that he carried a hockey stick in the back of his truck and that he was going down to that street to see if he could get up a game. Of course he is not going to do that, he's just playing politics. Politicians are famous for making stupid remarks and this is no exception. You do know that politicians are not the smartest apples in the basket, don't you? They just have the art of rambling on with what you want to hear.
I have been on occasion the motorist that comes upon a street hockey game. For the most part children move aside. But there has been times that the children forget who the legal user of the road is. Perhaps the residents of this street complained because of this. Maybe it was the noise. Or maybe it was something that no one ever mentions. The person working nightshift, who gets home at seven in the morning and deserves to be upset about noisy children and irate drivers.
The article also made a big issue about obesity and children's execise. It appears that street hockey is the only summer sport. In my old age, I failed to notice that all the summer sports had disappeared. Since school has started, I'm sure street hockey has petered out. Soon the snow will come and the kids will be inside. You certainly won't see them outside shoveling snow. So I guess you can say that weight loss has to be fun and not work.

"Everyone gets in an arguement and everyone loses."

Change Of Life

Sometimes with a political system, you have to grab it by the tail and give it a little shake. Just like a mat, it may be full of dustballs. Take Cuba for example, there you may need a vacuum cleaner. It thought it would be the showcase of the communist world. But without the backing of the American Mafia, it soon fell into decay.
Sometime new ideas are just repackaged old ideas. My thoughts on this is that Fidel Castro realizes that it is not working and he doesn't want to lose face by changing it back. Ye old rock and hard place. To stay where they are is at the least standing still if not regressing. How long can those old Chevrolets last?
Enter Raul Castro. Younger brother of Fidel. New plan brother. You do this and you can keep the credit. I have decided that we should be a capitalist country. The Americans will then come in with their money and fix this place up. Good plan Fidel. Give me five. Can I get a Cadillac?
So now the dustballs, furballs, fuzzballs will be all gone. The only thing they will have to worry about is the scumballs. Wait a minute, isn't that the American Mafia? So I guess it is true, what goes around, comes around.

A Walk Is More Than A Walk.

While I was doing my walk yesterday, I noticed a caterpillar rushing down the sidewalk. I knew he was rushing because he kept tripping over his feet. This is almost Oct. and this guy is still wandering around. That must have been some party. He still thinks he is a teenager and is missing the best part. Hurry along buddy, your pals are in Florida waiting at the pool.

For me, this was not an ordinary walk. Something else attracted my attention and it just blew me away. One house had a garage door open. The inside was shocking. There was a place for everything and everything was in its place. Hung on the walls or stacked. I can't remember when I saw a garage in such orderly condition. And the biggest suprise shall remain with me for a long time. That person could actually drive his car into the garage.

Most yards are neat and tidy but every once in awhile you run across one that appears like the garbage man dropped off a load rather than picked it up. The exterior of the house has seen better days and the front and back yards have seen too many days. You may wonder if the interior of the house is any reflection of the outside? From my experience, it is like a virus that spreads from room to room. Perhaps it starts in their head.

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♫ Yipee aye ki ya ♫ Git along little dogie ♫

♫ Yipee aye ki ya ♫ Git along little dogie ♫ I want to get back for that big plate of beans. ♫
As often as not, beans remind me of cowboys, chuck wagons and the wild west. Rushing back after a hard day on the range for a plate of beans. I guess it also reminds me of gas. That wouldn't be the kind you use in your car. You know, I don't recall ever seeing beans on a restaurant menu. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Maybe I just don't notice it on the menu or I haven't been in the right restaurant. That brings up the question of what price they would charge for a plate of beans.
Although used in its basic form, beans as a meal has also been moderinized. With a simple addition, you can now enjoy weiners and beans. I also notice that beans have other qualities. They appear to be very good at clearing the room, clearing your sinuses and choking you to death.

Banking For Students

I suppose that you are with me thinking that this generation is the most tech savvy so far. That's what I thought until I read this article. "Bank sites could be more student friendly."  Personally, I never thought that bank sites were a problem. By the way, we are talking about are university students. So I decided to give this some thought. I believe we think they are tech savvy because they have an Ipod or Blackberry in their hand. This is not a big deal. You have to look at them as an upgrade of the transistor radio. All they do is type. And on top of that, they type bad English.
Back to the bank sites. Obviously the banks are unaware of the importance of the McDonalds Happy Face Meal. Although unsoliciated, I will give them some advice on making their sites more student friendly. First of all, you must make much more use of pictures. How can you expect them to read English when they can't spell it. (Actually, bad English was one of their suggestions.)
Instructions.
1. To check your account, click on Barney.
2. To check messages, click on Moo Moo Cow.
3. To pay bills, go to Help Dad.
4. To make a new account, ask Grandmother for help. Because this is grown up stuff.

The Nova Scotia Walk Of Fame.

Saw this headline last week. "Latest hurricane to touch down in Halifax." OMG I thought. Well I didn't really think OMG, I thought."Oh My God." I suppose you are Twitter savvy enough to know that. So Hurricane Igor is headed this way. I thought for sure it was way out to sea. So now I will have to batten the hatches and hunker down. Which brings up an old Air Force saying. "Haste Makes Waste." I wasted my time because I rushed over the headline and didn't read at least some of the article. Being better late than never, it turned out that the article was about a football team blowing into town to play one of our University teams. Without Igor, our team was still blown away. May you rest in peace Igor.

I've heard lately about "Walk of Fame." How about a Nova Scotia Walk of Fame?  I think the first inductee should be the Pit Pony. He was a famous star, probably no longer with us. They could make an impression of  pony shoes. Then there could be an outline of a heart and on the other side the hand prints of Ellen Page. They were in the same series together. Not to take anything from Ellen Page. I know she deserves a spot all her own, but I don't think she would mind sharing it with the pony. They would have the first spot, ahead of
Anne Murry. Then I thought about others. Dutchie Mason came to mind. He used to rent across the street from me and that made me wonder how long it took to repair the holes in the walls after he left? And then there are the Trailer Park Boys. For them, instead of hand prints, I would like to see mouth impressions in the cement. That way, every time the cement had to be washed, you could wash their mouths out with soap.

Corruption Is Not A Bad Thing, Just Don't Call It Pork

The Afghan election. Counting takes awhile and the possibility that results will be in this year are good. If you have paid any attention at all, you can't help but notice the voter ballot. It would give our daily newspaper a run for its money. For that election, paper for ballots is a major expense. Photos of all candidates are on ballots because a large number of people can't read. They vote on their photo. It sounds like police mugshots, doesn't it? So picking out a candidate from a sheet of men with turbins and black beards should be easy. Picking out a woman might be more difficult but they are used to faceless women.
I am under the assumption that the white man likes to see these people vote because it gives them a warm and fuzzy feeling. "I stuck in my nose and pulled out a democracy, oh what a good boy am I." If Jesus walked these 'streets', he wouldn't find much difference from 2000 yrs. ago. Democracy? Most have no idea what they are doing. "I'll vote for him, he let me ride his donkey last week. Are you sure that's his picture? I thought he had more grey hair."
They do have a start on democracy. We won't have to teach them a darn thing about corruption. Corruption is ok. But don't call it pork. That's against their religion.

A Conversation In Every Glass

There'a a story in every bottle, a conversation in every glass. This is a sentence that makes you go warm and fuzzy all over. Or is it a way of saying that you talk too much when you get drunk? After a few more bottles, you do get a lot more fuzzier.
I have read that they now have a nasal spray to cure shyness. Personally I've noticed that a few stiff drinks will cure that. At least for one night.
What can start out as a polite and civil conversation can end up as tongues flapping in the breeze. I suppose you have also noticed that all the tongues flap at the same time. And the only way to be heard is to flap louder and longer. A quite dangerous place for flies to be. Tongue flapping is associated with tongue wagging. I am sure that tongue wagging has a lot to do with the conversation in every glass. We are all aware that one thing leads to another. Tongue wagging, I am sure is the major cause of bar room fights. Polite talk accompnied by a miscued sentence can give you a new view of the swinging doors. But for now, you have learned your lesson and a week from now you will probably do the same thing again. In which case, learning from experience is not your thing.

Simple Rules For Simple People

Went for my two mile walk this morning. In and around sub-divisions, you make mental notes about what you see. We have a school at one end of the street and a pizza place at the other end. And the two do come together, mostly on peoples lawns. There is a very distinct indication when the school year is in. Litter on all the lawns. Fries, pizzas and large soft drink containers. What do I get from all that crap. A picture of diabetes on the move. And a large percentage of the students are well on the way.
Last Monday was garbage pick-up day. So according to Hoyle, there should be no refuse on the sidewalks. That works well when you think about it, but not too well in actual practice. If there is a way to screw this up, people will. There is the "I am important, special attention person." They put their stuff out after the truck has gone by. There it sits, waiting for the bylaw police to wander by and give them a ticket. A ticket that will be complained about and then paid.
Then there are the people who put stuff out any which way and loose. We have simple rules for apparently simple people. But even simple rules are sometime not simple enough.

Your Financial Advisor Cares For Your Money

Do you have a financial adviser? Those scallywags. I have heard they are people who tell you how to spend your own money. Now my experience has been that no one seems to have a problem spending their own money. In fact, some are even good at spending other peoples money. No matter what advice they give you, you can be assured that part of that advice will be about giving them some of your money. It appears that a large majority are willing to do that.
Financial Adviser. Such a strong trusting name.You have to hand it to the banks to come up with a name like that. What would be the qualifications of such an individual? First and far most important is the gift of the gab. Concept of morals should be on the weak side. And education? Nice to have but not really necessary. This sounds like the resume of another career we are familiar with.  Used car salesman.
Financial Advisers are a welcome guest to our house.(Say in a deep voice.) "My Financial Adviser is coming over this afternoon to update me on my portfolio." We proudly tell our friends and neighbours, hoping to gain some esteem. What about the car salesman? (Say in a deep voice.) "The used car salesman is coming over this afternoon to update me on the new list of used cars." Doesn't carry the same weight, does it?
Financial Advisers are bank salesmen, selling bank products such as insurance,stocks,bonds and mutual funds. They get a fee each month from your monthly deposit. No matter what happens to your portfolio, he still gets his fee. To sum it up, I guess a financial advisor is like another member of your family that gets an allowance every month. Dad, can I borrow your wallet?