Friday, July 9, 2010

My Sure Shot Wife

I think I'm in a rut. I've had a bagel and coffee four mornings in a row. That's a rut isn't it? Always read the paper first and any man type flyers. Canadian Tire had one so had to check it out. On the front page was that driveway sealer again for $19.00. Just trying to tick me off. I guess the planning dept. must have made a big blunder when they estimated how many people would do the driveway this year. Next year, they will underestimate and it will cost three times as much. Just like christmas trees. One year they are on every corner, the next year, hardly any.

Another thing I saw was a multi-knife. The big brother of the Swiss Army Knife. It comes with a sheath and you can wear it on your belt. Come on, who actually uses these things? So I walk around my back yard and see a branch that has to be cut off. But am I worried? No way. I am wearing my trusty multi-knife. I'll just flick out the saw and if I start now I could have that branch off, in say, 50 years. Even the Swiss Army Knife?  You can clean your fingernails and remove some mini screws.

Now the air pistol or BB Gun is another matter. I still have a Daisy Air Rifle. When my son was young fellow, we were out shooting at a target. My wife came along and I offered to show her how, thinking "Poor woman, she'll be lucky if she hits the target." I showed her how to cock it, she laid down and Crack, Crack, Crack, six fast shots and ..........six bulls eyes. My chin dropped so far I had to roll it up. I asked her how she did that? "I don't know, I just shot it." Since she is German, I was wondering if they have a shooting gene we don't know about. Told her that the Canada Games have this sport and she should look into it. "No, I'm not interested." Reminds me that I saw a picture of her once wearing an army uniform. When I asked about it, she said it was her brothers and she just had it on for fun. I believe it. Right? Right?

When I was young, I had a BB Gun. Shot my brother Peter with it. He was hollering that he was going to tell dad. So I tried change his mind and I had to make a deal. Told him he could shoot me once and we would be even. Pretty stupid eh? Gave him the gun, started backing away, he cocked it and I took off. Crack! he got me in the soft spot behind the kneecap. So I stopped and said "I guess we're even now." He cocked it again, I took off and he emptied the clip. A few years later I gave him the gun. He went and shot everyone and everything. My dad finally took the gun and wrapped it around a tree.

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