Sunday, July 25, 2010

Careful With the Dildow

Someone mentioned that I must have seen some strange goings on when I worked at the airport. And that's an understatement. I'll mention a few. I know that the airport couldn't do this but it sure would help middle age women if they were allowed to put up a sign which read. "Before proceeding through baggage inspection, please insure that the batteries have been removed from your vibrator." Laugh as you will, its not an infrequent mishap. I get an alarm and I get the cameras rolling. Security searches through the bag, finds the item and holds it up in the air to show that it is not a threat. And there he is, "King Kong" for all the world to see. And for the lady, not the celebrity she wanted to be.

Some monitors always have the same picture on them. A spot such as a gate are always watched. One morning I was sitting there and I saw one of the employees climbing up the gate. He didn't bother going through the main door or security doors. Honed in on him, got all the photos, did the alarms and there he was nabbed. I get a pat on the back and he gets a $500. fine. Could have been worse for him. On the other hand, if I hadn't caught him, it would have been worse for me. It could have been a test.

That's enough of the serious stuff. One morning I was near the bottom of the escalator where the people come down from Arrivals and go through the door to meet their loved ones. Coming down the escalator was a good looking girl around 20. She was wearing blue jean shorts and a tank top. She also had crutches because she had two broken legs. Both legs had full casts. She gets to the bottom and asks if I would help her. Told me that she had a cramp in her stomach and would I massage it fo her. That would have looked really great on camera. Photos for everyone. Anyway, up went the red flare and I suggested that I could hold her crutches, she could put one hand on my shoulder to steady herself and massage her own stomach. true story. I couldn
t make up one like that.

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