Darn crows outside my window at 5 am this morning.

 

My wife is complaining about the potatoes looking old & wrinkled. I said, "Yeah, just like us."

KIJIJI Sales

Last month, my neighbour across the street threw out 2 chain saws. I went over and grabbed them. They were really junk. One didn't even have a blade. I thought I could sell them on Kijiji. My wife laughed at me. Anyway, I put them up for $5.00. 

A few days later I received an email from a guy who said that he couldn't come into the city because of the lockdown but if I would hold them for two weeks he would give me $40.00. I told him I would hold them but $20.00 was enough. He wrote back, no way, nothing less than $30.00. OK, I held them. First time I've been beat up instead of down. 

He came by a couple of weeks later with the $30.00. Told me that collecting this brand of chainsaw was his hobby. He had about 30 of them. Said he loved to take them apart and put them together again. 

Guess I did a few good deeds. Made a collector happy, kept stuff out of the landfill and got $30.00. My wife was still laughing but now she was also shaking her head. 

I remember when we used to use catalogues for toilet paper. What was your favorite, Sears or Eaton's?. 

The world started falling apart when they allowed graffiti to mar the urban landscape.

When I was young and heard a new song, I could understand the words. Nowadays I can't. On second thought, maybe that's a good thing.

 

Thoughts come & go and there is nothing you can do about them.

 

When I had heart surgery I lost weight and that weight is staying lost.

Your personal life is like a new pair of shoes, people may admire them but they don't know where they pinch.

 

When an aircraft takes off, you can always be assured it will return to earth.

 

Watching "Line of Duty" would make you think that half of London's coppers are bent.

Free Lottery Ticket

 

I've never won anything with a free lottery ticket. Do you think they make those numbers after the draw?

Criticism

No matter how nice you are, there is always someone who will criticize you.

Sleeping With Glasses On

 

If you sleep with your glasses on, will you see your dreams better?

Question Time

 

I must be slipping. I'm starting to ask my wife what day it is.

Relatives

 Famous people have relatives and probably some of them are the same as yours.

Influencers

 What are influencers? Stupid people that other stupid people listen to.

Wearing the Mask

 

From watching TV, I gather a lot of people wear the mask to keep their chin warm.

Rock Climbing

In one of my dreams last night, I dreamt that my double in an alternate universe was rock climbing in Arizona. I don't think he will do that again.

Corona Flu

Since no one has contracted the flu this year, I'm wondering if the Corona Virus is just a fancy name for a very bad flu.