This is a new phrase I've heard lately, which I don't like to hear. "Life Changing Injuries."

Last Night’s Dream.

In this alternate universe, I am a Taser Technician. My job was to go and retrieve the Taser wires that were expended. Drag them back and restore them to the Taser.

In our present world, Taser wires extend to about 15”. In my other world, the wires fly out to about 150”. I saw myself crawling over bushes, through windows and around buildings. Not surprising, because these are DNA seeking Taser wires. Fire the weapon and it seeks the person. Taking the path of least resistance, it went through thorn bushes, not around them.

I have nothing to do with the firing of the Taser. I think I am in the Police and I am definitely on the bottom of that totem pole. I just have to collect all these strung out wires and stuff them back into a box for next time. Frustrating job done and then I wake up.

Going on a cruise this fall, from Boston to the Caribbean. Expect the ship to be filled with drunken Irish Catholics.

For some, a time of prayer is begging for a lottery win.

It’s the thought that counts.

 Rubbish. If the idea is no good, it amounts to nothing. If the idea is good but not acted on, it amounts to nothing. It is the most inexpensive of gifts and does not require wrapping. Although the receiver may say, "It's the thought that counts," I'm sure they feel dejected.

I wake up in the morning with great intentions, then reality sets in...

In this case, I was going to cut the grass this morning but then saw that it rained last night. You know what? I can't be sure I would really have cut the grass. 

Lady, don’t be such an idiot...

So, I saw this morning that a woman in Ont. Is suing a barber for not cutting her hair. She’s black, he’s white. He’s probably over 60. She is going to report him to the Human Rights Comm. Getting her 15 min. of fame.

This man is not comfortable cutting women's hair. He doesn't cut his wife's. What if she was not pleased with the haircut, would she sue him for that? Will he be forced to do it?

So, I guess we are not allowed to make our own choices. Someone else has the right to tell us how we should run our lives. This works in the big picture. The laws etc. But not when we have to form our life by some individual’s likes or dislikes. Like my next door neighbor telling me not to cut the grass at 9 am. He has the right to decide for me?

If that happened to me, I would take that as a hint not to get my haircut there. It just so happened that I went for a haircut this morning and told my barber about this. He said if he was forced to cut someone’s hair, they would definitely remember the haircut and not return.

Saw a good ad on T.V. yesterday concerning tattoos.

Rather than finding a cure for some disease or something important, they invented a makeup to cover tattoos. It made me chuckle to think of that drunken moment coming home to roost. At least it is cheaper than the permanent removable process. All you have to do is rub it on over the offending graffiti, and poof out of sight, out of mind. Now, you can sport yourself at a biker fest and then you can go to a fancy restaurant in the evening and not get the evil stares. Just be careful and not spill any wine on yourself.

The tragedy in Toronto. Now we all know about it.

We’ve seen it on T.V. For me, there are some things that stick out. First, was the length of time it took to find out who he was? Halfway through the day, we were told his age but not his name. If you know his age, it’s obvious you know his name. If they don’t say his name, it’s a good chance that he is a Muslim. As it turned out, he was.

During the same afternoon, there was an incident in Ottawa. Someone was walking around with a knife. The media had his name on the air before they clapped the handcuffs on him. I guess we can say he had a Christian name, which he did.

Now the government has a problem. They have to put a spin on this. They don’t want a backlash against the Muslim community, which in reality means, they don’t want to insult the Muslims. But, someone has to be blamed. Then someone comes up with a solution. We will blame the average Canadian. It’s their fault because they didn’t enact the correct laws so this guy couldn’t get a gun.

The media jumps right on this. Since they have come up with this farce, the murderer’s name has been mentioned the bare minimum of times. Forget about the murderer, make this a social gathering. Paint the sidewalks and walls with graffiti. It only took a few hours before new tee-shirts were printed off. So that is the story now. Two people killed, 13 wounded because Canada has lax gun laws.

As to the murderer, the nicest guy you ever want to meet say his neighbors. The nice guy, who just shot 15 people.

Had a cinnamon bun for breakfast and I noticed that it had no calorie count on the package. So, I'm guessing it was calorie free.

Heavy rain yesterday. I was waiting for that, to check on something. When there is heavy rain,

the back of my yard is like a swimming pool. It takes a while for the water to drain off. A couple of weeks ago, it so happened that the house next door was getting new roof shingles and drains. The house is two story, so the drain pipes are quite long, coming in 12' sections. One of them was just what I needed for a drain in my back yard. So, I dug a trench, 1' deep. Had to use an ax and chainsaw to get through the roots. Laid the pipe, put some mesh on the front and filled the hole at the front with gravel. Filled it all in and waited for the rain. When it did rain, I noticed that the only visible water was just above the gravel, which disappeared when the rain slowed down. Now I have to get a flat rock, write drain on it, and lay it at the top of the pipe. If there is ever a problem, like the drain getting plugged, people will know there is a drain there.

Why is it important to learn English when you live in an English-speaking country?

In most older graveyards, the only visitor is the weather.

Just finished reading James A. Michener's book "Return to Paradise". I'm amazed that his earlier works have not been banned. Probably his books are too much reading by those that do the complaining.

Someone told me that protests are social gatherings for misfits.

I wonder if going to Paris now is like going to Haiti?

I woke up so early this morning it was still yesterday.

Good health & fish chowder for lunch, what more can you ask for?

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. If you're bald, you're really screwed.

I just read,

How do you go in to be out? Go in to work to be out of the house.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Don't think about it. Let that drift off.

When you get up in the morning, you have to make your bed. You can't start the day in a disorganized mess or soon it will be shaving every three days, the forgotten haircut, shower and change of clothes. Then you're a three letter word.

This looks about right.

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language

I wonder who came up with the idea that Ostriches bury their head in the sand? They must have been thinking about Clams.

One of those things that just didn't catch on. 1956 - General Electric - Wall Fridge Freezer - Magazine Ad -

When I opened up the loaf of bread this morning, the first thing I saw was two ends.

When I saw the ad about the collapsible hose, I wondered if he got the idea from a bungee cord.

I guess the plans I have for what to do with my lottery win will have to be put on hold.

Memories can sometimes be a real pain in the ass.

Some people can't function without help, some countries are the same.

Wonder if the hurricane is coming on Thursday? Should check the lineup at the liquor store.

I use a hard tooth brush. I think a soft one only shines up the plaque.

The first loss for a politician is truth.

When you go to bed, sleep is sometimes hard to attain and when it arrives, it seems to last but a second.

When I was young, I wanted to join the Foreign Legion, but then I realized you had to know French. So I joined the R.C.A.F. Then I realized you had to know French.

Some people like to mention that they know someone who ran away to the circus. But I know someone who ran away from the circus.

Some people think that Trump is an ass, but lets face it, at times, aren't we all. The only time you are referred to as a great person is in your obituary.

Rule of 50: Give a book 50 pages. When you get to the bottom of Page 50, ask yourself if you're really liking the book. If you are, of course, then great, keep on reading. But if you're not, then put it down and look for another. Bad writers should probably write only 50 pages.

In Germany, Doctors travel to all of the accident scenes and do CPR and life saving techniques. Firefighters strictly fight fires.

Every day I wake up, I can't wait to see what stupid idea someone has come up with.

There are immigrants and then there are immigrants. Then there are more immigrants.

I think, in India, the moral compass points south.

I see "The BlueJays in 30 Show" has increased the number of slots for ads.