Walking Drunk!

When I finish with the newspaper today, I'm going to take it out and pee on it. Is that the same as weed killer? One article really ticked me off. There was an interview with a city manager, who is in charge of making the city green. Could this be the culprit responsible for not allowing me to kill my Dandelions? Anyway, they are asking this turkey about evasive plants and bugs. Along the side they have a list of his credentials. He has a Bachelor of Commerce degree. Then he worked in the offshore oil industry for 10 years. After that he got a city job as manager of procurement. Then it was Enviroment Management Office. Someone from the oil industry telling us how to look after the enviroment. I can see where this is really a great choice. A perfect resume for telling everyone how to take care of their lawn. Wonder if he ever worked for BP?

There was a second part to this no use of pesticides. If you own a lawn care copmany, it's ok to use pesticides. So, is this an example of wanting to keep the students summer jobs, or does someone have their hand in someone's else's back pocket. Another thing. Have you ever noticed how someone can be CEO of McDonalds one day and the next, he can be CEO of Funeral Homes? You know what that is? It's not what you know, its who you know. Take California for example. The CEO of ebay wants to be the Governor. On second thought, that may be a good idea. California may have a lot of auctioning off to do.

Back to my newspaper. One-third of the front page and one-half of the second page concerned a lesbian couple from North Carolina who were getting married. Slow news day or what? The other day, it was about drunken city councillors. Maybe that why we get dumb ass managers. It seems that the Mayor had to chastise some for driving drunk, walking drunk and showing up drunk at meetings. One even showed up drunk at the swearing in ceremony. Walking drunk! Are you out of your mind? The Mayor took these people aside and gave them a tongue lashing and made them stand in the corner. He knew about a few of them but the others came by way that a school teacher would find out from five year olds in a school yard. "Miss Betty, I saw Johnnie in the outhouse, throwing the catalogue down the hole." 

Which brings up a question. Did they only use catalogues, or did they use magazines too? Pre Playboy weren't they? Women't toilets had a half moon on the door and I'm wondering why is that the only one you see? Maybe because men could just go behind a tree.

The Indian Nation

Yesterday my wife was going shopping and we were finishing off a conversation. Her last sentence was, "What goes around comes around I'm taking twenty-dollars." Do you call that speed talk? They have speed dating. You know what I thought speed dating was? You take one girlfriend home at 10:00 so you can pick up the other one. Good girl first, bad girl second. Can you imagine bragging about speed dating? "Ahuh, ahuh had a date last night. We went out for drinks. Da and it was really good. By the way, Donald Trump hasn't called back about my "Spies Are Us." show. Now "Speed Dating" would make a very good half hour comedy. Different guys every week. This is work for part time actors. And there would be one big name star who drops you at the end of the show. Win, win for everyone. I could go and drink wine with Arnold at Fess Parkers Winery.

The National game of Canada is Lacrosse, invented by the Huron and Iroquois. The Iroquois have a team playing for the World Championship, or should I say, trying to play. It seems they don't have American or Canadian passports, just an Indian Nation passport. Lets face it, an Indian Nation is a nice, fuzzy, warm idea. but that's not going to fly. Once you get into the real world, reality sets in. Now back to, what goes around, comes around. The Indian Nation is not a new idea. It was the main reason for the American Revolution.

There are two reasons to start a war. One reason is what they tell the cannon fodder. The ordinary people. And then there is the real reason. The one for the elite. And it almost always greed. It was the same then as it is now. For the cannon fodder, it was taxation, representation. Fot the elite, it was expansion. The British Government had the idea to form North America into three parts. The Thirteen Colonies, Canada and the Indian Nation. ( The rest was Spanish.) The Indian Nation would be west of the Colonies, Ohio etc. This would strangle any chance of them expanding. Well, we see how that worked out.

The American Government has allowed what they call, The Iroquois Nation. They have their own passport, etc. This is just the start. Nothing but trouble coming there. What's next? With the number of Mexicans coming in, are we looking at The Spanish Nation?  Put that all down on a map and what do you see?  Well! look at that, its the Thirteen Colonies again. O.K I may be exaggerating, but what about that border?

You know? They say the big banks walked away with all that stimulus money. I don't think that would be true. I think they would drive away in big limos with Brinks trucks following them.

Tony Soprano Needs the Cash

The front page of yesterday's paper showed the results of an accident. A woman had backed out of a driveway and had hit an old man driving a motorized scooter on the sidewalk. Not enough to cause injury and the woman was given a ticket. Now I'm not sure if I would fault the woman entirely. I think it is the responsibility of the scooter driver not to take for granted that he has the right of way. It reminds me of people who jaywalk. They step in front of you and look the other way pretending that they don't see you. They assume you will stop. You just better hope that the car driver is not looking the other way. Now back to the scooter. There used to be a man living across the street and he had one of those things. Those things are low. I don't know if its the law or not but he should have one of those flags. If it is the law, meanie me would have given him a ticket, because he still thinks he's right and will not be careful next time. If you are laying on a slab, it won't matter if you were right.

Speaking of tickets, my son told me about something that happened in New York. A son was going home to see his mother and he noticed that she had thrown out a fridge. He asked her if he could have it and no problem. Just as he was loading it on his vehicle, a meter maid drove by. She him a $2000. ticket because in N.Y. you are not allowed to pick up someone else's garbage. She also gave the mother a $2000. ticket for giving permission. So I guess the meter maid gets a slap on the back for being a super crime fighter, the land fill gets another fridge because there must have been an empty spot and a town councillor and Tony Soprano get some extra cash.

We handle that a little differently up here. On garbage day, anyone can drive around and take anything they want. They take all the metal of course to sell to the metal dealers. Twice a year, spring and fall, you are allowed to put your unwanted items out on the lawn for the weekend. Everyone can help themselves. I picked up my lawn mower on garbage day. A guy I know was throwing his out because it wouldn't start. Had a broken pin. Means he hit a rock and broke it. I repaired it for $25.00 and now have a two year old lawn mower that new cost $200.00.

♫ Lets Twist again, like we did 50 yrs.ago.♫

♫ Lets Twist again, like we did 50 yrs.ago.♫
Well, if you have that notion even vaguely in your mind, have an ambulance standing by. Chubby Checker brought the dance to everyone, but I guess he wasn't the first to sing it. Luck of the draw eh? And they say (Notice how it is always "they" and they seem to know everything.) that this was the first dance where people didn't touch. Now I'm kind of skeptical about that. I've seen lots of cowboy movies with indians dancing around the fire and never have I seen them touch. And pirates? What about them? On a pirate ship, doing a jig? No touching there. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt. Because "they" are known to lie.

Staying with entertainment, Regis and his hand puppet were on PEI to do four shows. Cost one million $'s. Considering what it costs for 30 sec. at the Super Bowl, this sounds like a good deal. Where else could you get a four ad for that amount?  I liked it there last month and thinking of going next year. And gas was ten cents a liter cheaper. We know that Regis is not a seafood man. I guess when he goes to the Gulf, he eats steak.

Continuing along with Arts & Entertainment and into Fashion File. It seems that the chic thing for men to do is to roll up their pants legs an inch or two. Talk about desperate. Fonzie you are not. Seen a few photos and they look like someone trying to sneak out of the back door of a mental home. You know, these guys could be on the same runway with those who wear their pants halfway down their ass. But the half-ass guys would have to be extremely overweight to give the full effect. Wonder why the guys in this photo don't show their faces? At least they have clean shorts.

Remember the Alamo

"Quebec to boost birth rate by coverning fertility treatments." Just got to get that birth rate up eh? I bet to get that you have to speak French and possibly have a French backround. For sure there will be no Anglephones allowed. But no mater what they do, the future is inevitably. They will be like their relatives in Louisiana. It appears that North America will end up as Spanish and English. The Mexicans might have their own agenda. "Remember the Alamo." Maybe they remember it too and want it back. After all, they did have it first. I remember going from Cal. to Mexico. I walked through the border and there was hardly anyone going in. There was one Federalie at a desk and he was fast asleep. On the way back it was totally different. Huge lineups. I stood on top the bridge and saw few cars going in but coming to the U.S, they were three abreast as far as you could see. And that is just the legal ones.

My wife is from Germany and the base I was at was next to her town. That base is now an airport and one of the major airlines there is Turkish Airways. A lot of the homes in that town are Turkish owned. We have been told that the Turkish government supplies the money to buy these homes. They always pay cash. I am sure you are aware that all the countries in Europe are having increased Arab populations. And they don't mind having eight kids. Get the picture? Sharia law. Back to the stone age or would that be stoning?

It appears that the Help Line here is only available from 8 A.M. to 11 P.M. Can you imagine someone about to jump off the bridge at 10:55 P.M, dials the Help Line  and hears, " I'm sorry sir, but we are closing for the night. Could you please call back at 8 A.M?" "But I'm about to jump off the bridge." "I'm sorry sir, but you have to call back during normal working hrs. You have to rebook your jumping appointment or get off your ass and originize your life." "You're not supposed to talk like that." "Well bud, it's after 11 P.M. and now you're just a crank call on my cell phone. I have to go to a party now. By the way since you have nothing to do till 8 A.M, why don't you join me?" "O.K."

Happy Birthday Hula Hoop!

Happy Birthday Hula Hoop! Actually it was in March, but its the thought that matters. And speaking of thoughts, my thought is that a lot of people who used the hoop would have difficulty fitting inside one now. How unfeeling of me? Well the Illinois State Government is considering an Obesity Tax. They want to add a tax to soda pop. Say it is one of the major contributors to obesity. Do you think that will really help? Come on now! We all know what they are saying. We're giving you a tax increase but we want you to think that is helping you. We had a brainstorming sesson and that's the best we could come up with. In Canada we seem to do it a little different. The Gov. says you now pay 13% and on the first of the month it will be 15%. Complain a little and move on.

Speaking of Canada and the Canada Goose in particular, it seem that some American states are intent on doing them in. New Jersey, the latest. Posses and lynch mobs scouring the state for geese. It has hit our headlines this morning. It's like an attack on Canadians. Hold on there now. They're not just our geese. These guys have dual citizenship. And you guys will be amazed at my solution to stop the slaughter. No longer will we call them Canada Geese (first named in 1772), we will call them American Geese. No American in his right mind would yell out, "Hey, lets go down to the pond and kill some Americans."

Did you know that Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird of the U.S. to be the turkey. Can you imagine that.  "Be your best, soar like a Turkey." I'm glad he was outvoted. I don't think a Thanksgiving Eagle has the same ring. And did you know that a lot of the eagles are immigrants. We sent a lot down from Nova Scotia because of a shortage due to pestacides. I don't think they ever come back for a visit. They got their Green Grass cards right away.

From an article. "If we don't receive any money, we're going to have to close the door, and our employee will have to go on welfare." This is a small museum from a small village whose survival depends on grants from the government. Which in one way is already welfare. I know people whose purpose in life is to get grants from the government. Their existance depends upon it. They dream up a charity or cause, submit it and some bureaucrat  and the gravy train goes on for years. They pollute their tax forms with expenses real and imaginary which eats up most of the grant. If the grant ever runs out , they just get a job with the government since they know how the system works. Know anyone like that?

UFO's Next Door

O.K. the cats and dogs are back. The trees in my backyard are starting to look like the Amazon jungle. I'm sure I saw an indian running around with a knitting needle in his nose. Supposed to rain all day. When you are retired, you have two options. Stay inside and drink beer or stay outside and drink beer. I just came back from buying a lottery ticket. Sucker!

"Something really strange is happening this summer at Shag Harbour’s UFO museum." That's how the paragraph starts off.  Got my attention. Expected to hear about a visit from little grey men. Notice how they always say little grey men? Why can't they be little grey women. Anyway, I found out they were talking about tourists. Mostly Americans. Some could be grey but probably not little. I wonder if they are coming because of the name "Shag?" And will they be disappointed when they find out it's the name of a bird?
The place is our answer to Roswell. Supposedly a flying saucer landed in the ocean near there. I guess you can see two large round indentions on the ocean floor. And what more proof do you need than that? I was stationed near there and I never saw any freezers with aliens. But I must admit there was some weird characters there.

Up the coast we have another place famous for landings. This one is for pirates. Of course I'm speaking about Oak Island. Last June I went on a tour of the island and viewed all the attempts to find the booty. But if you haven't gone, you're s---- out of luck. No more tours. And since it's a private island, you can look from afar and only imagine what it would be to have a latte with Donald Trump. Well you have Plan B - a lottery ticket.

Watching a movie the other night, I saw this wedding car dragging all the tin cans. You know what I mean. I have to admit that I've never actually seen that. It must be an American thing. I looked it up and it says it's to ward off evil spirits. Well, fella, you're going to find out that doesn't work.

Adding a photo of me in Las Vegas with a little grey man. Notice how I am totally amazed?

Military Culture

Breakfast finished, Obituary column finished, TV guide finished before I started. The Obituary column upset me. Too many people dying young. Does that mean they have started running out of old people? I am going to petition God to let people live longer. At least long enough to collect all the pension they have paid in. Maybe this is a Government conspiracry. After all they get to keep all the money.

Read this article yesterday and it pretains to military culture in Canada. It has to do with training manuals. And the use of sexual cartoons in these manuals. It appears now that the troops need pictures to understand. When I was in the Air Force, no pictures, all writing. The cartoons are no different than I get in emails. And I can understand why they did it. A sexual cartoon is much easier to remember than a paragraph. Ok, your wrist has ben slapped.

What I don't like about the article is this woman in Calgary, sitting behind a desk, presuming to know about military culture. Basic military culture, you have to learn how to kill people and people will definately try to kill you. Now I never agreed with the idea of women in combat. But women libbers had to have their way. So now women are equally able to get shot in the head. If captured, they won't be given a little BO Peep dress and sent back home. For them, getting killed would be the good part. This reporter need to see the mini-series "Pacific", war at its worse. Too naive to write about the military. There, you have been spanked. Oh crap! Did I say that out loud?

Saw this morning about a female member of parliament. She said that there was a move afoot to change the law concerning Honor Killings. That's where those dumb asses kill their daughter for going to the movies. My first thought was, "Hold on Trigger." Murder is murder. But with reading a few extra lines, the light bulb went on and all was clear. "In her statement, Ambrose said honour killings have no place in Canadian society and urged women’s groups to submit project proposals for government funding to prevent future violence." So the cat is out of the bag there. The Americans would call that pork. Up here, we call it fishy.

I see that in the gulf states, they are not too forthcoming with giving up any of that 20 billion to the fisherman. As they put it, not enough paperwork. I think that if you made $40,000. and paid your taxes you should have enough paperwork. But hey, the big guys have to get their cut first, so how much will be left?

Spies Are Us?

Big rain all night and still raining cats and dogs. And that saying came from. "In the filthy streets of 17th/18th century England, heavy rain would occasionally carry along dead animals and other debris. The animals didn't fall from the sky, but the sight of dead cats and dogs floating by in storms probably started this phrase." By the way, was anyone planning on chinese today?

Oh my God! LeBron James is a basketball player. I thought it was a realty show. Actually I didn't know he existed till two weeks ago. Then all of a sudden he is in my face. And I thought his first name was James. Anyway, never heard of the guy till he decided to change teams, then he's the greatest player in the world. He decides to change teams and Whamo, front page news. But I think he's toast now. Anjelina Jolie just got a tattoo on the inside of her theigh. He's not going to be able to top that. Back to James LeBron. If he wants to switch teams, that's his choice. His owners certainly wouldn't have any loyality to him. Remember Babe Ruth? Puff, out the door. I guess he created a lot of jobs and is still doing it. Think of all the guys they had to hire to tear down his sign in Cleveland.

I guess you can see that I'm not a basketball fan. Went to Catholic school and we didn't have a basketball team. The Protestants did though. We didn't have a hockey team either. The Protestants did. What we did have was Catechism classes. I was sort of a star there. Actually thought that I would be going up to the majors. Then I turned sixteen and got a drivers licence, then a girl friend. They sort of go hand in hand.  Well, the majors were out. So was a farm team.

A couple of days ago, I wrote on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/delta61 that the Americans should not have sent the spies back. They should have made it into a reality show. Maybe it is a reality show and they are just testing the waters. All those spies could come back. The food in the fridge wouldn't even be bad yet. You never know, these guys are pretty cagey. Russia might be in on it. We can call the show "Spies Are Us?" And you have to have the queston mark at the end.

I know what the first challange should be. Sneaking back into the States thru Mexico. The first couple back is the winner. No, lets change that. The last couple back is the winner. That would be harder. If you land in a Mexican jail, you're eliminated. Another challange would have a couple sneaking into a Bar Mitzvah. I thought first a White House party but that would be too easy. You could also sit in a Starbucks and see who gets reconized. To give Anna Chapman a fair chance, she would have to wear a moustache and have hairy armpits.

To Rooftop Garden Or Not

♫ Coffee. I've had my first coffee. ♫
I stole that song from a Twitter friend. I'll have to fess up. Don't want to be known as a Twitter Thief. Finally broke that bagel and coffee rut I was in. Today it was toasted rye bread, banana and ♫ coffee ♫. Read the newspaper and there is no Dagwood on Sunday, so that sets the tone for the day. Dagwood will be back tomorrow, I can muddle thru till then.

An article the other day, about half a page, gushed with the benefits of a rooftop garden. I look at this as blatant irresponsibility staring down at me with the fangs of T.Rex. All the Green, Tree Hugging, apt. dwellers will look at this and think. Yes! That could be me. Their eyes become glazed over with visions of rooftop fields of Lettuce, Tomatoes and Bok Choy. Trees for Christmas and two Maple Leaf trees to get Maple Syrup from and hold their hammock. In actual fact, what they will probably plant is radishes. Everyone seems to plant radishes.

Lets get back to the garden on the roof. Get serious.You can't just go out and get a ton of dirt and dump it on your roof. These gardens are for buildings that are especially designed for this purpose. If your garden isn't sitting atop a drainage system, where is the water going to go. (Now speak like a 5 yr.old.) "That's ok, the plants will drink all the water and be really healthy and we will have lots of Bok Choy." Now on to the Christmas and Maple Tree. Ever hear of roots. No, not the TV show. The things a tree has instead of feet. On TV they can walk around with them but in real life they are stuck in one place. And like most peoples waistline the roots keep growing. They grow down, into any crack in the cement they can find. The result. You will be infested with birds nests and squirrels.

Years ago, a friend of mine told me about his brother who managed an apt. building in Toronto. A tenant complained that there was water leaking from his ceiling. The mgr. figured he better go look. Sure enough, the whole ceiling was leaking water. Upstaires was a family from Pakistan so he went up to check. He knocked on the door and when it opened he noticed that the whole living room was a garden and the man was there with a hose watering it.

Saw this photo in the paper this morning. At first glance it was, "Oh my God, Alien right here in Halifax." But after a mouthfull of ♫ coffee ♫ I saw that it was just a guy living hand to mouth.

On The Ark With Rocky

The weather this morning says it is going to rain for seven days. Doesn't worry me. When I built my patio, I didn't attach it to the house. Sure, my neighbours laugh, but they laughed at Noah too. So far I've signed up the next door neighbours cat.

First thing in the morning is too read the obituary column, the the tv schedule. Notice how the two are somewhat similar. A couple of nights ago, with all repeats, I watched a boxing match. I should say up front that my perception of the match was probably tainted because I watched "Rocky" the day before. It was for middleweights. 27/24 wins, 16/14 KO's, o losses. In this match arms were flying in all directions. The only knockdown was when the opponent got slapped in the back of the head. When the champ wanted to throw a punch, he leapt ahead about the lenght of two paces and threw a roundhouse. What footwork, what finesse. I say again how I am warped by Rocky and possibly wrestling, but these guys had legs like toothpicks. They should be embarassed to wear shorts. And biceps, or lack of, so as Arnold would say,"These are Girlie Men."

Spent this week working on my van. Had to do some bodywork. It's a stop and go job. Took it to the carwash yesterday, so all I have to do is clean the windows inside. So that project is finished. And the next one will be to put power into my shed. My neighbour gave me a Skil electric drill. Said someone gave it to him and that it didn't work. Thought that maybe I could fix it for myself. Easy fix. Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it. Guess I have one for the house another for the shed.

My Sure Shot Wife

I think I'm in a rut. I've had a bagel and coffee four mornings in a row. That's a rut isn't it? Always read the paper first and any man type flyers. Canadian Tire had one so had to check it out. On the front page was that driveway sealer again for $19.00. Just trying to tick me off. I guess the planning dept. must have made a big blunder when they estimated how many people would do the driveway this year. Next year, they will underestimate and it will cost three times as much. Just like christmas trees. One year they are on every corner, the next year, hardly any.

Another thing I saw was a multi-knife. The big brother of the Swiss Army Knife. It comes with a sheath and you can wear it on your belt. Come on, who actually uses these things? So I walk around my back yard and see a branch that has to be cut off. But am I worried? No way. I am wearing my trusty multi-knife. I'll just flick out the saw and if I start now I could have that branch off, in say, 50 years. Even the Swiss Army Knife?  You can clean your fingernails and remove some mini screws.

Now the air pistol or BB Gun is another matter. I still have a Daisy Air Rifle. When my son was young fellow, we were out shooting at a target. My wife came along and I offered to show her how, thinking "Poor woman, she'll be lucky if she hits the target." I showed her how to cock it, she laid down and Crack, Crack, Crack, six fast shots and ..........six bulls eyes. My chin dropped so far I had to roll it up. I asked her how she did that? "I don't know, I just shot it." Since she is German, I was wondering if they have a shooting gene we don't know about. Told her that the Canada Games have this sport and she should look into it. "No, I'm not interested." Reminds me that I saw a picture of her once wearing an army uniform. When I asked about it, she said it was her brothers and she just had it on for fun. I believe it. Right? Right?

When I was young, I had a BB Gun. Shot my brother Peter with it. He was hollering that he was going to tell dad. So I tried change his mind and I had to make a deal. Told him he could shoot me once and we would be even. Pretty stupid eh? Gave him the gun, started backing away, he cocked it and I took off. Crack! he got me in the soft spot behind the kneecap. So I stopped and said "I guess we're even now." He cocked it again, I took off and he emptied the clip. A few years later I gave him the gun. He went and shot everyone and everything. My dad finally took the gun and wrapped it around a tree.

"Bulls Off and Running"

"Bulls Off and Running" That was the heading for a half page spread in the paper this morning. At first glance, it would appear to be the headline for yesterday's stock move. But no, it was bull from Spain. All I need to know about the running of the bulls. They don't just do this once, they do this for 9 days in a row. These people just have too much spanish fly. It's the start of the party season. (I didn't know it had a season.) Anyway, they drink all night and run with the bulls at 8a.m.

What surprised me the most was the number of guys over 60. It appears to be on their "Bucket List." Well, there's something that won't be going on my list. I don't have that page, "Things I should have done when I was young and stupid." Imagine if you get killed, stand before God and he says "Well old fellow, no need to ask how you got here, as you stand here with that bull horn up your ass."

There are only six bulls and six cows with a bell supposely to keep the bulls in line. I guess that it is something like taking your wife to a stag party. It only takes the bulls less than 2 1/2 min. to run the course. Perhaps men should be a little faster. Yesterdays score was Bulls 2 Men 0.

Lindsay Lohan Verses Tar Balls

My day is ruined. The first thing I did this morning was to read the Home depot flyer. Found airport grade Driveway Sealer at $19.00. Two weeks ago I paid $30.00. I don't think this was deliberate. Pretty sure they didn't wait till I bought before they marked it down. The reason I was thinking that was because it went down to $23.00 the day after I bought them. I say them because I needed four. Wonder if that is as bad as buying a lottery ticket and finding out that the numbers on it were last weeks winners. Imagine that pain?

So Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. So who is this person? Has to be an actress. Probably a career drunk. The only thing I know about her is that she is interrupting the CNN coverage about tar balls. Three months may not be enough. The judge will be saying that when she sees the photo of her fingernails. I'll attach that photo.

Graduation: Falling Off A Cliff

My wife just told me an excuse to go shopping. We need metal inserts for paint rollers. She went on and on about the old ones, why we tossed them, about tarring the driveway, about lending one to someone and so forth and so forth. When she finished, I said,"That is so cute, you worked so hard on that excuse and it was so eloquent and all you had to do was say I'm going shopping."

O.K. I confess. I don't get it. Graduation time. It seems that you have to go to the dance in a limo and a $500.00 dress could be on the cheap side. You've just finished high school and you are now qualified to work at McDonalds and Wal-Mart. Just like falling off a cliff. Hopefully they have cash registers that tell you what change to give back. From what I've seen, read and heard, they think math is something theit parents had in school. Oops! I shouldn't use the word math. It should be arithmetic. But haven't you seen that. Cashiers that can't figure out what change to give back? I always feel sorry for them. Life will be a long road.

I remember my high school prom. My date was 15 years old and I was 17. All the guys made fun of me because she was so young.  I suppose if she had been 16, she would have been and older woman. Well smartasses, she's 65 now and the age difference wouldn't seem to matter that much. I did get better though, my wife is only one year younger than me.

A Lot Of Bull

What's with these Spainards and their bulls? Read an article this morning,"Bulls To the Sea". Same as the Running Of The Bulls except the end is a wharf where the young idiots trick them into an attack and Plop! in they go. I don't know if bulls can swim. I'm wondering if this is a way to pre salt the meat. Something else I've wondered about is what happens to the bulls in the ring after they are done in? Is there a mass barbacue or what? Anyway, this is a lot of bull and if you are running behind , a lot of bullshit.

You never see any protestors at these events. Can't interfer with anything that's a sport. Easier to protest the killing of seals. If you protest the killing of bulls, you would piss of a lot of people. But seals. You would only upset a few people. Those that use it for their livelihood. Another thing, you never see them protesting the killing of cows. Now that would really upset the apple cart. Imagine upsetting McDonalds. Anyway, I'm sure the protestors enjoy a good burger after a hard day of protesting. Hey, in there might be a solution. Maybe we can get them hooked on seal burgers.

See that the Queen is going to New York today. I guess you could say she is going from the frying pan into the fire. I'm referring to the temperature not the residents.

Long LIve The Queen and Tony Soprono

When I saw the latest picture of the Queen today, it reminded me of Tony Soprano. No, she doesn't look like Tony, but he goes to church and hits the track in the afternoon. Wonder if she makes any bets? Like "Philip, could you trot down and put 2 pounds on Runny Nose." No. Probably not. She would have a personal bookie like Lord Hot To Trot.
But I noticed she didn't go to the Gay Parade. Well, I didn't either. Anyway the races were probably more interesting. The Gay Parade-Some of those guys are just too gross for me.

I just went to Drudge to see if there was anything new. Same page for the last three days. Since they have become well known, they have become a lot lazier. Then again, why should I care. I don't pay for it. And a lot of it is just crap.

Lady Gaga sets Facebook record. Has more than 10 million fans. I learned something from that. Ther are at least 10 million idiots in the world. Plus the ones that changed the Wonder Woman costume.

Just came back from flipping thru channels. Ran into "The View." Eight women all talking the same time. What a racket. They sounded worse than the Vuvuzelas. Probably made just as much sense.

Wonder Woman n' Bin Laden

Yesterday morning I opened the newspaper and out fell one of those inserts. You know the ones, gardening, local news, etc. Well this one was a G8/20 insert. I found it hard to believe. They just keep harping on it. What did they expect. When you see that Gov. spent 1 billion for security, you know they were expecting something. And don't you read the paper. Every time they have one of these meetings, the assholes come out of the woodwork. They live for it and follow it around the world.
One of the funniest things I heard was from this girl who was arrested. She complained that the building she was put in had a cold cement floor. Oh, I'm sorry. But the Sheraton was all full up. Maybe all those arrested should spend a night in a cell with Big Bubba.
I hope our country has quit volunteering to have those things. There are 20 countries, so we shouldn't have to have it for another 20 yrs.

Had this Tweet this morning. "interesting that Wal-Mart employees could not wear 'patriotic' clothing on Independence day because it might offend someone." That's just over the top. I'm sure Bin Laden will be offended, but what the heck. He already knows you don't like him. Now this makes me wonder if they changed Wonder Woman's costume for the same reason. What a mess they made. Get rid of those Stars n' Stripes. Just give her some rags from the Thrift Store.

Ranting Continued

A few weeks ago we threw out a bunch of junk. My wife must have noticed the empty spots so we had to go yardsaleing the last two weeks. Didn't get anything yesterday. That's a good thing. Last week I got a dehumidifier. Fairly new. $149.00 in Canadian Tire. Owner said he bought a new house and it had a dehumidifier installed. Anyway, the bottom line is that I beat him down to $10.00. And I don't feel guilty about it. After all, it could have worked for 10 min. and then quit. Well, I don't and it didn't. I look at it as a gift from God. Because three days later mine started to make noise. I'll have to oil it and see if that cures it. God workes in mysterous ways. Wonder why he thought that guy only needed $10.00?

Never thought that I would think that summer tv shows about 10 years ago wern't that bad. Now they are really the pitts. Shows that started two weeks ago already have reruns. Not that they are good to start with.
I read this "Maradona in post-match altercation with German fans." It must have been the line on my bifocals. I thought it said Madonna. Off I went on an inner rant. "What has this witch got to do with it?" Oops! it was the male madonna. Doesn't matter!

Seeing all these twitters about Joey Chestnut. Who the hell is that? Looked it up. Oh! He's a glutton. Seems like he should be wearing a toga.

Ranting

As you are aware, or if you are American, you are not aware, the Queen was here for a visit. To me, I don't care if she visits or not. I am not going to stand in a crowd just to look at her. That's fine for people who do that. That's their thing. They are not nutcases.

When I rant, I usually rant to myself. That's not venting, that's just getting grey. Anyway I was talking about the Queen before I interrupted myself. I was so glad the Queen arrived. Now you're wondering. I was glad because now the CBC News can switch over to something else besides the G8 & G20. That news just went on and on. Showing the same videos over and over. That guy must have smashed that window a 1000 times. Trying too hard to be like Americans. You have to remember that the Americans are a gun toting wild bunch with ten times the population. They are bound to have more eyeball glueing incidents. Maybe three a day. Here we have to settle with maybe one a week. Imagine on the edge of your seat for that. Show the news a couple of times a day. If there is nothing new, switch over to movies.

On second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea. Canadian content and all. Why did I write "and all." People always write that. I don't know what that even means. It just looks good.