Someone mentioned that I must have seen some strange goings on when I worked at the airport. And that's an understatement. I'll mention a few. I know that the airport couldn't do this but it sure would help middle age women if they were allowed to put up a sign which read. "Before proceeding through baggage inspection, please insure that the batteries have been removed from your vibrator." Laugh as you will, its not an infrequent mishap. I get an alarm and I get the cameras rolling. Security searches through the bag, finds the item and holds it up in the air to show that it is not a threat. And there he is, "King Kong" for all the world to see. And for the lady, not the celebrity she wanted to be.
Some monitors always have the same picture on them. A spot such as a gate are always watched. One morning I was sitting there and I saw one of the employees climbing up the gate. He didn't bother going through the main door or security doors. Honed in on him, got all the photos, did the alarms and there he was nabbed. I get a pat on the back and he gets a $500. fine. Could have been worse for him. On the other hand, if I hadn't caught him, it would have been worse for me. It could have been a test.
That's enough of the serious stuff. One morning I was near the bottom of the escalator where the people come down from Arrivals and go through the door to meet their loved ones. Coming down the escalator was a good looking girl around 20. She was wearing blue jean shorts and a tank top. She also had crutches because she had two broken legs. Both legs had full casts. She gets to the bottom and asks if I would help her. Told me that she had a cramp in her stomach and would I massage it fo her. That would have looked really great on camera. Photos for everyone. Anyway, up went the red flare and I suggested that I could hold her crutches, she could put one hand on my shoulder to steady herself and massage her own stomach. true story. I couldn
t make up one like that.
Pensioners Rants
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Britney Spears On The Run
At least that's what she called herself as she made a dash through security the other day at Halifax Int. Airport. She ran past the guys that check carry-on luggage, up the stairs, hoping to get to the secure area where the planes are loaded. Well, she really has high hopes there. That just ain't going to happen. Having had the responsibility of trapping those people, I can tell you how that works.
Airport security is controlled from Security Operations Center. It is a secure area away from everything. The Fort Knox of the airport. All camera operation, monitors, computers, radio ops, lock controls, passwords and anything pertaining to security is controlled from there. The person running this is called a SOC Operator. I had that job for five years. All are ex military. When I was there, sometimes there was only one person on. Now there is always two.
Running through security? We practice that all the time. At the top of the stairs to the secure area there are four doors which seperates it from the baggage inspection. If someone runs, security pushes an alarm. The SOC Op. locks the doors and only he can open them. At the same time he has a camera on the person and is able to switch from camera to camera to track the person. At the same time again, he has a foot switch for the radio and is broadcasting all that is going on. He has alerted one R.C.M.P. and four Security Police. These police are ex R.C.M.P., ex City Police and ex Military Police. So Britany got to the top of the stairs and had no place to go. By now all police have her under tow. Off to the looney bin.
Airport security is controlled from Security Operations Center. It is a secure area away from everything. The Fort Knox of the airport. All camera operation, monitors, computers, radio ops, lock controls, passwords and anything pertaining to security is controlled from there. The person running this is called a SOC Operator. I had that job for five years. All are ex military. When I was there, sometimes there was only one person on. Now there is always two.
Running through security? We practice that all the time. At the top of the stairs to the secure area there are four doors which seperates it from the baggage inspection. If someone runs, security pushes an alarm. The SOC Op. locks the doors and only he can open them. At the same time he has a camera on the person and is able to switch from camera to camera to track the person. At the same time again, he has a foot switch for the radio and is broadcasting all that is going on. He has alerted one R.C.M.P. and four Security Police. These police are ex R.C.M.P., ex City Police and ex Military Police. So Britany got to the top of the stairs and had no place to go. By now all police have her under tow. Off to the looney bin.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Hobby Without a Horse
This article is about me, or at least the hobbies I've had over the last ten years. Now I don't have a hobby like stamp collecting etc. that can be a lifelong passion. Mine are more like part time jobs, that after awhile, they reach some conclusion and I move on. Some people are obsessed with following celebrities. That could be a hobby. Most people finish with that hobby after their teens, but some people try to stay young forever. You just have to remember that celebrities are people and have the same faults as your nexr door neighbour or your relatives.
I think the first hobby was selling on ebay. For myself and other people. I had a friend who had a lot of unusual items to sell. One was a Union Army belt buckle from the Civil War. Another, I can't remember what it was, came from a U.S. submarine. This sub was now a museum and the item was in the sub when it was active. The curator sent me a photo of the inside of the sub with the item. He was very happy to get it. And it was more like a donation.
After awhile I said enough of this packing, I need something simpler. I came up with the idea of old magazine ads. All I needed was an envelope and cardboard backing. That I did for a number of years. With the recession, business slowed down but Post office expenses didn't. I closed my ebay store. The ads I still display on two other sites. http://oldmagazineads.blogspot.com/ and http://www.originalmagazineads.com/wordpress/ The first site gets about 1000 visitors a day. It seem that I have become somewhat of a library. People want them for school products, university magazines and movies. For one movie I had to send a photo of a big tooth. Got my name in the credits. Once I sent an ad to CA 90210.
These ads plus others provide me with money from adsense, ebay and Amazon ads. They run automatic and I have to check them ever so often to make sure of that. While this was going on, I was restoring antique radios. You know, the old tube type. Did that for a couple of years. Then decided that this was too much like my military job. And the cruncher was when they got rid of all AM radion stations. Now I can't listen to them.
Three years ago I bought a 25 year old snow blower. No plastic on it. All steel, 32" cut, 7 gears forward, 3 reverse. So I figured with that, I better learn how to fix the motor. Same as a lawn mower, just bigger. I always used an electric mower because I could fix them. So I had better learn to fix a gas one. That was last years project or hobby, which I finished this year.
Prior to all this, I learned to use a computer, then I learned to fix a computer, then I learned how to build a computer from scratch. I think now I am hobbyless. Maybe I should write a book. I have two brothers that do that. Both are published, but not on a grand scale. Or maybe I could just sit on the patio and drink beer.
I think the first hobby was selling on ebay. For myself and other people. I had a friend who had a lot of unusual items to sell. One was a Union Army belt buckle from the Civil War. Another, I can't remember what it was, came from a U.S. submarine. This sub was now a museum and the item was in the sub when it was active. The curator sent me a photo of the inside of the sub with the item. He was very happy to get it. And it was more like a donation.
After awhile I said enough of this packing, I need something simpler. I came up with the idea of old magazine ads. All I needed was an envelope and cardboard backing. That I did for a number of years. With the recession, business slowed down but Post office expenses didn't. I closed my ebay store. The ads I still display on two other sites. http://oldmagazineads.blogspot.com/ and http://www.originalmagazineads.com/wordpress/ The first site gets about 1000 visitors a day. It seem that I have become somewhat of a library. People want them for school products, university magazines and movies. For one movie I had to send a photo of a big tooth. Got my name in the credits. Once I sent an ad to CA 90210.
These ads plus others provide me with money from adsense, ebay and Amazon ads. They run automatic and I have to check them ever so often to make sure of that. While this was going on, I was restoring antique radios. You know, the old tube type. Did that for a couple of years. Then decided that this was too much like my military job. And the cruncher was when they got rid of all AM radion stations. Now I can't listen to them.
Three years ago I bought a 25 year old snow blower. No plastic on it. All steel, 32" cut, 7 gears forward, 3 reverse. So I figured with that, I better learn how to fix the motor. Same as a lawn mower, just bigger. I always used an electric mower because I could fix them. So I had better learn to fix a gas one. That was last years project or hobby, which I finished this year.
Prior to all this, I learned to use a computer, then I learned to fix a computer, then I learned how to build a computer from scratch. I think now I am hobbyless. Maybe I should write a book. I have two brothers that do that. Both are published, but not on a grand scale. Or maybe I could just sit on the patio and drink beer.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Catholic Jokes and Bingo
Big rain and thunder today. Supposed to be 20C/68F. The grass needs the rain. Someone gave my neighbour a lawnmower, non working that is. Had that going in about 5 min. Have two of hers now, which I will combine to make one that will be better than mine. That's my plan. God may change that. I was supposed to take my daughter to Halifax to pick up glasses. May have to put that on hold. In and out of the van and wheelchair in the rain not a good idea.
Been some noise lately about children playing Bingo. One interview complained that this would lead to problem gamblers. My own thoughts on that are with pre-teens and teens learning poker, we are long past that. And the idea that this is a sport is beyond me. I always thought that sports require some exertion. Not sitting behind a table perhaps having a beer. Imagine in Olympic Boxing, "Hold that punch Bud, I need a swig of beer." Back to Bingo. Kids have been playing Bingo as long as I can remember. Sometimes its a family outing. I can't imagine a slew of kids running out to play Bingo. Actually I can't imagine kids running.
I remember when I was young, there was always Catholic jokes. I'm catholic and I told the same jokes. Funny is funny. Masons have told me that when they made a speech, it should include a good Catholic joke.
At the top of the joke list would be Catholics and Bingo. Lately I watch tv and see the ads, "Masonic Bingo, seven nights a week." Now that's funny. Other jokes would be about eating fish on Friday. And what happens now? Everyone after fish oil capsuls. Need that Omega 3. It appears that some must have known something. And this must show that the churches are coming closer together. Everyone plays Bingo and want to eat fish and not just on Friday. God works in mysterous ways.
The paper this morning show almost a full page ad for a beer sale. Since you can only buy beer from a Government store, there is no competation. And people that are going to buy beer, go and buy it. A sale doesn't make much difference. Then again, maybe some stock up. From the sellers point of view, if they have it, they will drink it. The sale doesn't make much difference to me. Of course, this is from someone who drinks a beer a year and the last drink of liquor was at a family funeral three years ago.
I remember when I was young, there was always Catholic jokes. I'm catholic and I told the same jokes. Funny is funny. Masons have told me that when they made a speech, it should include a good Catholic joke.
At the top of the joke list would be Catholics and Bingo. Lately I watch tv and see the ads, "Masonic Bingo, seven nights a week." Now that's funny. Other jokes would be about eating fish on Friday. And what happens now? Everyone after fish oil capsuls. Need that Omega 3. It appears that some must have known something. And this must show that the churches are coming closer together. Everyone plays Bingo and want to eat fish and not just on Friday. God works in mysterous ways.
The paper this morning show almost a full page ad for a beer sale. Since you can only buy beer from a Government store, there is no competation. And people that are going to buy beer, go and buy it. A sale doesn't make much difference. Then again, maybe some stock up. From the sellers point of view, if they have it, they will drink it. The sale doesn't make much difference to me. Of course, this is from someone who drinks a beer a year and the last drink of liquor was at a family funeral three years ago.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The $400,000. Cookie
The temp. today is 28C/82F with humidity 38C/96F. That is fairly warm and I gather that under some people's collars it could be hotter. I cut my neighbours lawn this morning while it was in the shade and before it got too hot. The power just came back on. It was off for a short time. Back in time for dinner.
Did you hear that the Government is getting into the bakery business? It would appear so. They wanted to make made-in-Canada astronaut food. To the tune of $400,000. They quietly got into it and just as quietly got out of it. Didn't pan out so to speak. The first problem seemed to be the ego problem. It has to have Canadian content. They needed recipes with Canadian sounding names. Fiddleheads, bison meatloaf, maple cookies and other intriguing items were on the menu. The only one that passed the test were cream filled oatmeal cookies. So Canadians, you spent $400,000 for an oatmeal cookie recipe. I could have given you one.
I don't know why they went thru all that trouble. The solution is so simple. All they had to do was put a picture of William Shatner on each package. Can you imagine it? Canadian content. William Shatner "Capt. Kirk". In the Space Station. On top of all that, this bakery was in Montreal, the home of William Shatner.
Win, win all the way. Can't see the forest for the trees.
Learned a new word the other day. Pink. No, not the colour. The person. Didn't know there was a singer that name. But I also found out that some of her ancestors are Lithuanian. Guess what? Today I learned another new word. Stunting! If you drive 50klm/30mph over the posted speed limit, it's called stunting. First fine is over $2400. This guy they fined yesterday was travelling 190klm/115mph. And his fine? Well , he gets to pay a nice $10,000. On the other hand, if you drive a car that can move that fast, I guess you can afford it.
Did you hear that the Government is getting into the bakery business? It would appear so. They wanted to make made-in-Canada astronaut food. To the tune of $400,000. They quietly got into it and just as quietly got out of it. Didn't pan out so to speak. The first problem seemed to be the ego problem. It has to have Canadian content. They needed recipes with Canadian sounding names. Fiddleheads, bison meatloaf, maple cookies and other intriguing items were on the menu. The only one that passed the test were cream filled oatmeal cookies. So Canadians, you spent $400,000 for an oatmeal cookie recipe. I could have given you one.
I don't know why they went thru all that trouble. The solution is so simple. All they had to do was put a picture of William Shatner on each package. Can you imagine it? Canadian content. William Shatner "Capt. Kirk". In the Space Station. On top of all that, this bakery was in Montreal, the home of William Shatner.
Win, win all the way. Can't see the forest for the trees.
Learned a new word the other day. Pink. No, not the colour. The person. Didn't know there was a singer that name. But I also found out that some of her ancestors are Lithuanian. Guess what? Today I learned another new word. Stunting! If you drive 50klm/30mph over the posted speed limit, it's called stunting. First fine is over $2400. This guy they fined yesterday was travelling 190klm/115mph. And his fine? Well , he gets to pay a nice $10,000. On the other hand, if you drive a car that can move that fast, I guess you can afford it.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
No More Water Pipes For Women
Saw this article the other day and it said that Hamas won't allow women to use water pipes any more. The first thing that came to my mind was, "Those Arabs, they won't even allow the women to use taps anymore. They will have to get water from the well." I would not find this so far fetched as you imagine, because just awhile ago they outlawed women riding on motorbikes. Not just driving them, but riding on the back seat behind their husbands. I don't know if they can still ride on donkeys. A lot of the older women agree with thes laws. Yep, I'm sure Allah sat down and said, "This with women riding on bikes has got to stop.From now on they walk, I have spoken.""Boom, clap of thunder." Anyway, they wern't taking about those pipes, they were talking about smoking pipes. I copied this so we are all on the same page.
"In street cafeterias one can order a coffee or tea and a sheesha. Usual choice for a water pipe (nargilla) order would be a very light tobacco mixed with aromatic fruits - apple, cherry, etc. You can see people spending hours over nargillah and a drink of tea or coffee. Very pleasant, relaxing experience helps socializing and making new contacts. The smoke itself is very light and pleasant, even for those who don't normally smoke! Specially constructed water pipe additionally filters the smoke through water, and cools it down in long brass tubes, offering rather a tasty "dessert" than a smoking experience."
What got me was the "spending hours." Those lazy louts. They just don't want to work. They could be out rioting or throwing rocks. Some men don't get off that easy either. Standing next to a woman in public. Bad News Bears for you. Wearing shorts? I wouldn't want to imagine the punishment for that. And Adultry? Oh! Sorry.That's O.K. It was the woman's fault. Maybe one ear was showing.
What got me was the "spending hours." Those lazy louts. They just don't want to work. They could be out rioting or throwing rocks. Some men don't get off that easy either. Standing next to a woman in public. Bad News Bears for you. Wearing shorts? I wouldn't want to imagine the punishment for that. And Adultry? Oh! Sorry.That's O.K. It was the woman's fault. Maybe one ear was showing.
Squatters To Be Shot
Awhile back I wrote about Canada Geese. The next day there was a half page article on the subject. It seems that when they fly south and stop for bed and board, some decide that they like the area, close to schools, shopping malls and especially parks, they decide to stay. They have five chicks a year for twenty years. So the squatter slums start getting larger. Not unlike humans, would you say? We don't know what to do with the humans but the Geese can be shot. In Canada the hunting season is 5 days, which they have just extended to 11 days. But just like the army, there are rules of engagement. The hunting season is prior to the peak travel season. We don't want to shoot vacationers going south. You can shoot them in a farmers field, but you have to get permission. Never said anything about dressing up as a Scarecrow. If you are one for a Christmas Goose, you need to have a freezer.
Speaking of "Rules of Engagement." I guess it's not shoot first, ask questions later. Looks like you have to call Headquarters first and get permission. The Capt. didn't do that and look what crapola he got in.
Speaking of "Rules of Engagement." I guess it's not shoot first, ask questions later. Looks like you have to call Headquarters first and get permission. The Capt. didn't do that and look what crapola he got in.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Walking Drunk!
When I finish with the newspaper today, I'm going to take it out and pee on it. Is that the same as weed killer? One article really ticked me off. There was an interview with a city manager, who is in charge of making the city green. Could this be the culprit responsible for not allowing me to kill my Dandelions? Anyway, they are asking this turkey about evasive plants and bugs. Along the side they have a list of his credentials. He has a Bachelor of Commerce degree. Then he worked in the offshore oil industry for 10 years. After that he got a city job as manager of procurement. Then it was Enviroment Management Office. Someone from the oil industry telling us how to look after the enviroment. I can see where this is really a great choice. A perfect resume for telling everyone how to take care of their lawn. Wonder if he ever worked for BP?
There was a second part to this no use of pesticides. If you own a lawn care copmany, it's ok to use pesticides. So, is this an example of wanting to keep the students summer jobs, or does someone have their hand in someone's else's back pocket. Another thing. Have you ever noticed how someone can be CEO of McDonalds one day and the next, he can be CEO of Funeral Homes? You know what that is? It's not what you know, its who you know. Take California for example. The CEO of ebay wants to be the Governor. On second thought, that may be a good idea. California may have a lot of auctioning off to do.
Back to my newspaper. One-third of the front page and one-half of the second page concerned a lesbian couple from North Carolina who were getting married. Slow news day or what? The other day, it was about drunken city councillors. Maybe that why we get dumb ass managers. It seems that the Mayor had to chastise some for driving drunk, walking drunk and showing up drunk at meetings. One even showed up drunk at the swearing in ceremony. Walking drunk! Are you out of your mind? The Mayor took these people aside and gave them a tongue lashing and made them stand in the corner. He knew about a few of them but the others came by way that a school teacher would find out from five year olds in a school yard. "Miss Betty, I saw Johnnie in the outhouse, throwing the catalogue down the hole."
Which brings up a question. Did they only use catalogues, or did they use magazines too? Pre Playboy weren't they? Women't toilets had a half moon on the door and I'm wondering why is that the only one you see? Maybe because men could just go behind a tree.
There was a second part to this no use of pesticides. If you own a lawn care copmany, it's ok to use pesticides. So, is this an example of wanting to keep the students summer jobs, or does someone have their hand in someone's else's back pocket. Another thing. Have you ever noticed how someone can be CEO of McDonalds one day and the next, he can be CEO of Funeral Homes? You know what that is? It's not what you know, its who you know. Take California for example. The CEO of ebay wants to be the Governor. On second thought, that may be a good idea. California may have a lot of auctioning off to do.
Which brings up a question. Did they only use catalogues, or did they use magazines too? Pre Playboy weren't they? Women't toilets had a half moon on the door and I'm wondering why is that the only one you see? Maybe because men could just go behind a tree.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Indian Nation
Yesterday my wife was going shopping and we were finishing off a conversation. Her last sentence was, "What goes around comes around I'm taking twenty-dollars." Do you call that speed talk? They have speed dating. You know what I thought speed dating was? You take one girlfriend home at 10:00 so you can pick up the other one. Good girl first, bad girl second. Can you imagine bragging about speed dating? "Ahuh, ahuh had a date last night. We went out for drinks. Da and it was really good. By the way, Donald Trump hasn't called back about my "Spies Are Us." show. Now "Speed Dating" would make a very good half hour comedy. Different guys every week. This is work for part time actors. And there would be one big name star who drops you at the end of the show. Win, win for everyone. I could go and drink wine with Arnold at Fess Parkers Winery.
The National game of Canada is Lacrosse, invented by the Huron and Iroquois. The Iroquois have a team playing for the World Championship, or should I say, trying to play. It seems they don't have American or Canadian passports, just an Indian Nation passport. Lets face it, an Indian Nation is a nice, fuzzy, warm idea. but that's not going to fly. Once you get into the real world, reality sets in. Now back to, what goes around, comes around. The Indian Nation is not a new idea. It was the main reason for the American Revolution.
There are two reasons to start a war. One reason is what they tell the cannon fodder. The ordinary people. And then there is the real reason. The one for the elite. And it almost always greed. It was the same then as it is now. For the cannon fodder, it was taxation, representation. Fot the elite, it was expansion. The British Government had the idea to form North America into three parts. The Thirteen Colonies, Canada and the Indian Nation. ( The rest was Spanish.) The Indian Nation would be west of the Colonies, Ohio etc. This would strangle any chance of them expanding. Well, we see how that worked out.
The American Government has allowed what they call, The Iroquois Nation. They have their own passport, etc. This is just the start. Nothing but trouble coming there. What's next? With the number of Mexicans coming in, are we looking at The Spanish Nation? Put that all down on a map and what do you see? Well! look at that, its the Thirteen Colonies again. O.K I may be exaggerating, but what about that border?
You know? They say the big banks walked away with all that stimulus money. I don't think that would be true. I think they would drive away in big limos with Brinks trucks following them.
The National game of Canada is Lacrosse, invented by the Huron and Iroquois. The Iroquois have a team playing for the World Championship, or should I say, trying to play. It seems they don't have American or Canadian passports, just an Indian Nation passport. Lets face it, an Indian Nation is a nice, fuzzy, warm idea. but that's not going to fly. Once you get into the real world, reality sets in. Now back to, what goes around, comes around. The Indian Nation is not a new idea. It was the main reason for the American Revolution.
There are two reasons to start a war. One reason is what they tell the cannon fodder. The ordinary people. And then there is the real reason. The one for the elite. And it almost always greed. It was the same then as it is now. For the cannon fodder, it was taxation, representation. Fot the elite, it was expansion. The British Government had the idea to form North America into three parts. The Thirteen Colonies, Canada and the Indian Nation. ( The rest was Spanish.) The Indian Nation would be west of the Colonies, Ohio etc. This would strangle any chance of them expanding. Well, we see how that worked out.
The American Government has allowed what they call, The Iroquois Nation. They have their own passport, etc. This is just the start. Nothing but trouble coming there. What's next? With the number of Mexicans coming in, are we looking at The Spanish Nation? Put that all down on a map and what do you see? Well! look at that, its the Thirteen Colonies again. O.K I may be exaggerating, but what about that border?
You know? They say the big banks walked away with all that stimulus money. I don't think that would be true. I think they would drive away in big limos with Brinks trucks following them.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Tony Soprano Needs the Cash
The front page of yesterday's paper showed the results of an accident. A woman had backed out of a driveway and had hit an old man driving a motorized scooter on the sidewalk. Not enough to cause injury and the woman was given a ticket. Now I'm not sure if I would fault the woman entirely. I think it is the responsibility of the scooter driver not to take for granted that he has the right of way. It reminds me of people who jaywalk. They step in front of you and look the other way pretending that they don't see you. They assume you will stop. You just better hope that the car driver is not looking the other way. Now back to the scooter. There used to be a man living across the street and he had one of those things. Those things are low. I don't know if its the law or not but he should have one of those flags. If it is the law, meanie me would have given him a ticket, because he still thinks he's right and will not be careful next time. If you are laying on a slab, it won't matter if you were right.
Speaking of tickets, my son told me about something that happened in New York. A son was going home to see his mother and he noticed that she had thrown out a fridge. He asked her if he could have it and no problem. Just as he was loading it on his vehicle, a meter maid drove by. She him a $2000. ticket because in N.Y. you are not allowed to pick up someone else's garbage. She also gave the mother a $2000. ticket for giving permission. So I guess the meter maid gets a slap on the back for being a super crime fighter, the land fill gets another fridge because there must have been an empty spot and a town councillor and Tony Soprano get some extra cash.
We handle that a little differently up here. On garbage day, anyone can drive around and take anything they want. They take all the metal of course to sell to the metal dealers. Twice a year, spring and fall, you are allowed to put your unwanted items out on the lawn for the weekend. Everyone can help themselves. I picked up my lawn mower on garbage day. A guy I know was throwing his out because it wouldn't start. Had a broken pin. Means he hit a rock and broke it. I repaired it for $25.00 and now have a two year old lawn mower that new cost $200.00.
Speaking of tickets, my son told me about something that happened in New York. A son was going home to see his mother and he noticed that she had thrown out a fridge. He asked her if he could have it and no problem. Just as he was loading it on his vehicle, a meter maid drove by. She him a $2000. ticket because in N.Y. you are not allowed to pick up someone else's garbage. She also gave the mother a $2000. ticket for giving permission. So I guess the meter maid gets a slap on the back for being a super crime fighter, the land fill gets another fridge because there must have been an empty spot and a town councillor and Tony Soprano get some extra cash.
We handle that a little differently up here. On garbage day, anyone can drive around and take anything they want. They take all the metal of course to sell to the metal dealers. Twice a year, spring and fall, you are allowed to put your unwanted items out on the lawn for the weekend. Everyone can help themselves. I picked up my lawn mower on garbage day. A guy I know was throwing his out because it wouldn't start. Had a broken pin. Means he hit a rock and broke it. I repaired it for $25.00 and now have a two year old lawn mower that new cost $200.00.
Friday, July 16, 2010
♫ Lets Twist again, like we did 50 yrs.ago.♫
♫ Lets Twist again, like we did 50 yrs.ago.♫
Well, if you have that notion even vaguely in your mind, have an ambulance standing by. Chubby Checker brought the dance to everyone, but I guess he wasn't the first to sing it. Luck of the draw eh? And they say (Notice how it is always "they" and they seem to know everything.) that this was the first dance where people didn't touch. Now I'm kind of skeptical about that. I've seen lots of cowboy movies with indians dancing around the fire and never have I seen them touch. And pirates? What about them? On a pirate ship, doing a jig? No touching there. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt. Because "they" are known to lie.
Staying with entertainment, Regis and his hand puppet were on PEI to do four shows. Cost one million $'s. Considering what it costs for 30 sec. at the Super Bowl, this sounds like a good deal. Where else could you get a four ad for that amount? I liked it there last month and thinking of going next year. And gas was ten cents a liter cheaper. We know that Regis is not a seafood man. I guess when he goes to the Gulf, he eats steak.
Continuing along with Arts & Entertainment and into Fashion File. It seems that the chic thing for men to do is to roll up their pants legs an inch or two. Talk about desperate. Fonzie you are not. Seen a few photos and they look like someone trying to sneak out of the back door of a mental home. You know, these guys could be on the same runway with those who wear their pants halfway down their ass. But the half-ass guys would have to be extremely overweight to give the full effect. Wonder why the guys in this photo don't show their faces? At least they have clean shorts.
Well, if you have that notion even vaguely in your mind, have an ambulance standing by. Chubby Checker brought the dance to everyone, but I guess he wasn't the first to sing it. Luck of the draw eh? And they say (Notice how it is always "they" and they seem to know everything.) that this was the first dance where people didn't touch. Now I'm kind of skeptical about that. I've seen lots of cowboy movies with indians dancing around the fire and never have I seen them touch. And pirates? What about them? On a pirate ship, doing a jig? No touching there. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt. Because "they" are known to lie.
Staying with entertainment, Regis and his hand puppet were on PEI to do four shows. Cost one million $'s. Considering what it costs for 30 sec. at the Super Bowl, this sounds like a good deal. Where else could you get a four ad for that amount? I liked it there last month and thinking of going next year. And gas was ten cents a liter cheaper. We know that Regis is not a seafood man. I guess when he goes to the Gulf, he eats steak.
Remember the Alamo
"Quebec to boost birth rate by coverning fertility treatments." Just got to get that birth rate up eh? I bet to get that you have to speak French and possibly have a French backround. For sure there will be no Anglephones allowed. But no mater what they do, the future is inevitably. They will be like their relatives in Louisiana. It appears that North America will end up as Spanish and English. The Mexicans might have their own agenda. "Remember the Alamo." Maybe they remember it too and want it back. After all, they did have it first. I remember going from Cal. to Mexico. I walked through the border and there was hardly anyone going in. There was one Federalie at a desk and he was fast asleep. On the way back it was totally different. Huge lineups. I stood on top the bridge and saw few cars going in but coming to the U.S, they were three abreast as far as you could see. And that is just the legal ones.
My wife is from Germany and the base I was at was next to her town. That base is now an airport and one of the major airlines there is Turkish Airways. A lot of the homes in that town are Turkish owned. We have been told that the Turkish government supplies the money to buy these homes. They always pay cash. I am sure you are aware that all the countries in Europe are having increased Arab populations. And they don't mind having eight kids. Get the picture? Sharia law. Back to the stone age or would that be stoning?
It appears that the Help Line here is only available from 8 A.M. to 11 P.M. Can you imagine someone about to jump off the bridge at 10:55 P.M, dials the Help Line and hears, " I'm sorry sir, but we are closing for the night. Could you please call back at 8 A.M?" "But I'm about to jump off the bridge." "I'm sorry sir, but you have to call back during normal working hrs. You have to rebook your jumping appointment or get off your ass and originize your life." "You're not supposed to talk like that." "Well bud, it's after 11 P.M. and now you're just a crank call on my cell phone. I have to go to a party now. By the way since you have nothing to do till 8 A.M, why don't you join me?" "O.K."
My wife is from Germany and the base I was at was next to her town. That base is now an airport and one of the major airlines there is Turkish Airways. A lot of the homes in that town are Turkish owned. We have been told that the Turkish government supplies the money to buy these homes. They always pay cash. I am sure you are aware that all the countries in Europe are having increased Arab populations. And they don't mind having eight kids. Get the picture? Sharia law. Back to the stone age or would that be stoning?
It appears that the Help Line here is only available from 8 A.M. to 11 P.M. Can you imagine someone about to jump off the bridge at 10:55 P.M, dials the Help Line and hears, " I'm sorry sir, but we are closing for the night. Could you please call back at 8 A.M?" "But I'm about to jump off the bridge." "I'm sorry sir, but you have to call back during normal working hrs. You have to rebook your jumping appointment or get off your ass and originize your life." "You're not supposed to talk like that." "Well bud, it's after 11 P.M. and now you're just a crank call on my cell phone. I have to go to a party now. By the way since you have nothing to do till 8 A.M, why don't you join me?" "O.K."
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Happy Birthday Hula Hoop!
Happy Birthday Hula Hoop! Actually it was in March, but its the thought that matters. And speaking of thoughts, my thought is that a lot of people who used the hoop would have difficulty fitting inside one now. How unfeeling of me? Well the Illinois State Government is considering an Obesity Tax. They want to add a tax to soda pop. Say it is one of the major contributors to obesity. Do you think that will really help? Come on now! We all know what they are saying. We're giving you a tax increase but we want you to think that is helping you. We had a brainstorming sesson and that's the best we could come up with. In Canada we seem to do it a little different. The Gov. says you now pay 13% and on the first of the month it will be 15%. Complain a little and move on.
Speaking of Canada and the Canada Goose in particular, it seem that some American states are intent on doing them in. New Jersey, the latest. Posses and lynch mobs scouring the state for geese. It has hit our headlines this morning. It's like an attack on Canadians. Hold on there now. They're not just our geese. These guys have dual citizenship. And you guys will be amazed at my solution to stop the slaughter. No longer will we call them Canada Geese (first named in 1772), we will call them American Geese. No American in his right mind would yell out, "Hey, lets go down to the pond and kill some Americans."
Did you know that Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird of the U.S. to be the turkey. Can you imagine that. "Be your best, soar like a Turkey." I'm glad he was outvoted. I don't think a Thanksgiving Eagle has the same ring. And did you know that a lot of the eagles are immigrants. We sent a lot down from Nova Scotia because of a shortage due to pestacides. I don't think they ever come back for a visit. They got their Green Grass cards right away.
From an article. "If we don't receive any money, we're going to have to close the door, and our employee will have to go on welfare." This is a small museum from a small village whose survival depends on grants from the government. Which in one way is already welfare. I know people whose purpose in life is to get grants from the government. Their existance depends upon it. They dream up a charity or cause, submit it and some bureaucrat and the gravy train goes on for years. They pollute their tax forms with expenses real and imaginary which eats up most of the grant. If the grant ever runs out , they just get a job with the government since they know how the system works. Know anyone like that?
Speaking of Canada and the Canada Goose in particular, it seem that some American states are intent on doing them in. New Jersey, the latest. Posses and lynch mobs scouring the state for geese. It has hit our headlines this morning. It's like an attack on Canadians. Hold on there now. They're not just our geese. These guys have dual citizenship. And you guys will be amazed at my solution to stop the slaughter. No longer will we call them Canada Geese (first named in 1772), we will call them American Geese. No American in his right mind would yell out, "Hey, lets go down to the pond and kill some Americans."
Did you know that Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird of the U.S. to be the turkey. Can you imagine that. "Be your best, soar like a Turkey." I'm glad he was outvoted. I don't think a Thanksgiving Eagle has the same ring. And did you know that a lot of the eagles are immigrants. We sent a lot down from Nova Scotia because of a shortage due to pestacides. I don't think they ever come back for a visit. They got their Green Grass cards right away.
From an article. "If we don't receive any money, we're going to have to close the door, and our employee will have to go on welfare." This is a small museum from a small village whose survival depends on grants from the government. Which in one way is already welfare. I know people whose purpose in life is to get grants from the government. Their existance depends upon it. They dream up a charity or cause, submit it and some bureaucrat and the gravy train goes on for years. They pollute their tax forms with expenses real and imaginary which eats up most of the grant. If the grant ever runs out , they just get a job with the government since they know how the system works. Know anyone like that?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
UFO's Next Door
"Something really strange is happening this summer at Shag Harbour’s UFO museum." That's how the paragraph starts off. Got my attention. Expected to hear about a visit from little grey men. Notice how they always say little grey men? Why can't they be little grey women. Anyway, I found out they were talking about tourists. Mostly Americans. Some could be grey but probably not little. I wonder if they are coming because of the name "Shag?" And will they be disappointed when they find out it's the name of a bird?
The place is our answer to Roswell. Supposedly a flying saucer landed in the ocean near there. I guess you can see two large round indentions on the ocean floor. And what more proof do you need than that? I was stationed near there and I never saw any freezers with aliens. But I must admit there was some weird characters there.
Up the coast we have another place famous for landings. This one is for pirates. Of course I'm speaking about Oak Island. Last June I went on a tour of the island and viewed all the attempts to find the booty. But if you haven't gone, you're s---- out of luck. No more tours. And since it's a private island, you can look from afar and only imagine what it would be to have a latte with Donald Trump. Well you have Plan B - a lottery ticket.
Watching a movie the other night, I saw this wedding car dragging all the tin cans. You know what I mean. I have to admit that I've never actually seen that. It must be an American thing. I looked it up and it says it's to ward off evil spirits. Well, fella, you're going to find out that doesn't work.
Adding a photo of me in Las Vegas with a little grey man. Notice how I am totally amazed?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Military Culture
Breakfast finished, Obituary column finished, TV guide finished before I started. The Obituary column upset me. Too many people dying young. Does that mean they have started running out of old people? I am going to petition God to let people live longer. At least long enough to collect all the pension they have paid in. Maybe this is a Government conspiracry. After all they get to keep all the money.
Read this article yesterday and it pretains to military culture in Canada. It has to do with training manuals. And the use of sexual cartoons in these manuals. It appears now that the troops need pictures to understand. When I was in the Air Force, no pictures, all writing. The cartoons are no different than I get in emails. And I can understand why they did it. A sexual cartoon is much easier to remember than a paragraph. Ok, your wrist has ben slapped.
What I don't like about the article is this woman in Calgary, sitting behind a desk, presuming to know about military culture. Basic military culture, you have to learn how to kill people and people will definately try to kill you. Now I never agreed with the idea of women in combat. But women libbers had to have their way. So now women are equally able to get shot in the head. If captured, they won't be given a little BO Peep dress and sent back home. For them, getting killed would be the good part. This reporter need to see the mini-series "Pacific", war at its worse. Too naive to write about the military. There, you have been spanked. Oh crap! Did I say that out loud?
Saw this morning about a female member of parliament. She said that there was a move afoot to change the law concerning Honor Killings. That's where those dumb asses kill their daughter for going to the movies. My first thought was, "Hold on Trigger." Murder is murder. But with reading a few extra lines, the light bulb went on and all was clear. "In her statement, Ambrose said honour killings have no place in Canadian society and urged women’s groups to submit project proposals for government funding to prevent future violence." So the cat is out of the bag there. The Americans would call that pork. Up here, we call it fishy.
I see that in the gulf states, they are not too forthcoming with giving up any of that 20 billion to the fisherman. As they put it, not enough paperwork. I think that if you made $40,000. and paid your taxes you should have enough paperwork. But hey, the big guys have to get their cut first, so how much will be left?
Read this article yesterday and it pretains to military culture in Canada. It has to do with training manuals. And the use of sexual cartoons in these manuals. It appears now that the troops need pictures to understand. When I was in the Air Force, no pictures, all writing. The cartoons are no different than I get in emails. And I can understand why they did it. A sexual cartoon is much easier to remember than a paragraph. Ok, your wrist has ben slapped.
What I don't like about the article is this woman in Calgary, sitting behind a desk, presuming to know about military culture. Basic military culture, you have to learn how to kill people and people will definately try to kill you. Now I never agreed with the idea of women in combat. But women libbers had to have their way. So now women are equally able to get shot in the head. If captured, they won't be given a little BO Peep dress and sent back home. For them, getting killed would be the good part. This reporter need to see the mini-series "Pacific", war at its worse. Too naive to write about the military. There, you have been spanked. Oh crap! Did I say that out loud?
Saw this morning about a female member of parliament. She said that there was a move afoot to change the law concerning Honor Killings. That's where those dumb asses kill their daughter for going to the movies. My first thought was, "Hold on Trigger." Murder is murder. But with reading a few extra lines, the light bulb went on and all was clear. "In her statement, Ambrose said honour killings have no place in Canadian society and urged women’s groups to submit project proposals for government funding to prevent future violence." So the cat is out of the bag there. The Americans would call that pork. Up here, we call it fishy.
I see that in the gulf states, they are not too forthcoming with giving up any of that 20 billion to the fisherman. As they put it, not enough paperwork. I think that if you made $40,000. and paid your taxes you should have enough paperwork. But hey, the big guys have to get their cut first, so how much will be left?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Spies Are Us?
Big rain all night and still raining cats and dogs. And that saying came from. "In the filthy streets of 17th/18th century England, heavy rain would occasionally carry along dead animals and other debris. The animals didn't fall from the sky, but the sight of dead cats and dogs floating by in storms probably started this phrase." By the way, was anyone planning on chinese today?
Oh my God! LeBron James is a basketball player. I thought it was a realty show. Actually I didn't know he existed till two weeks ago. Then all of a sudden he is in my face. And I thought his first name was James. Anyway, never heard of the guy till he decided to change teams, then he's the greatest player in the world. He decides to change teams and Whamo, front page news. But I think he's toast now. Anjelina Jolie just got a tattoo on the inside of her theigh. He's not going to be able to top that. Back to James LeBron. If he wants to switch teams, that's his choice. His owners certainly wouldn't have any loyality to him. Remember Babe Ruth? Puff, out the door. I guess he created a lot of jobs and is still doing it. Think of all the guys they had to hire to tear down his sign in Cleveland.
I guess you can see that I'm not a basketball fan. Went to Catholic school and we didn't have a basketball team. The Protestants did though. We didn't have a hockey team either. The Protestants did. What we did have was Catechism classes. I was sort of a star there. Actually thought that I would be going up to the majors. Then I turned sixteen and got a drivers licence, then a girl friend. They sort of go hand in hand. Well, the majors were out. So was a farm team.
A couple of days ago, I wrote on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/delta61 that the Americans should not have sent the spies back. They should have made it into a reality show. Maybe it is a reality show and they are just testing the waters. All those spies could come back. The food in the fridge wouldn't even be bad yet. You never know, these guys are pretty cagey. Russia might be in on it. We can call the show "Spies Are Us?" And you have to have the queston mark at the end.
I know what the first challange should be. Sneaking back into the States thru Mexico. The first couple back is the winner. No, lets change that. The last couple back is the winner. That would be harder. If you land in a Mexican jail, you're eliminated. Another challange would have a couple sneaking into a Bar Mitzvah. I thought first a White House party but that would be too easy. You could also sit in a Starbucks and see who gets reconized. To give Anna Chapman a fair chance, she would have to wear a moustache and have hairy armpits.
Oh my God! LeBron James is a basketball player. I thought it was a realty show. Actually I didn't know he existed till two weeks ago. Then all of a sudden he is in my face. And I thought his first name was James. Anyway, never heard of the guy till he decided to change teams, then he's the greatest player in the world. He decides to change teams and Whamo, front page news. But I think he's toast now. Anjelina Jolie just got a tattoo on the inside of her theigh. He's not going to be able to top that. Back to James LeBron. If he wants to switch teams, that's his choice. His owners certainly wouldn't have any loyality to him. Remember Babe Ruth? Puff, out the door. I guess he created a lot of jobs and is still doing it. Think of all the guys they had to hire to tear down his sign in Cleveland.
I guess you can see that I'm not a basketball fan. Went to Catholic school and we didn't have a basketball team. The Protestants did though. We didn't have a hockey team either. The Protestants did. What we did have was Catechism classes. I was sort of a star there. Actually thought that I would be going up to the majors. Then I turned sixteen and got a drivers licence, then a girl friend. They sort of go hand in hand. Well, the majors were out. So was a farm team.
A couple of days ago, I wrote on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/delta61 that the Americans should not have sent the spies back. They should have made it into a reality show. Maybe it is a reality show and they are just testing the waters. All those spies could come back. The food in the fridge wouldn't even be bad yet. You never know, these guys are pretty cagey. Russia might be in on it. We can call the show "Spies Are Us?" And you have to have the queston mark at the end.
I know what the first challange should be. Sneaking back into the States thru Mexico. The first couple back is the winner. No, lets change that. The last couple back is the winner. That would be harder. If you land in a Mexican jail, you're eliminated. Another challange would have a couple sneaking into a Bar Mitzvah. I thought first a White House party but that would be too easy. You could also sit in a Starbucks and see who gets reconized. To give Anna Chapman a fair chance, she would have to wear a moustache and have hairy armpits.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
To Rooftop Garden Or Not
♫ Coffee. I've had my first coffee. ♫
I stole that song from a Twitter friend. I'll have to fess up. Don't want to be known as a Twitter Thief. Finally broke that bagel and coffee rut I was in. Today it was toasted rye bread, banana and ♫ coffee ♫. Read the newspaper and there is no Dagwood on Sunday, so that sets the tone for the day. Dagwood will be back tomorrow, I can muddle thru till then.
An article the other day, about half a page, gushed with the benefits of a rooftop garden. I look at this as blatant irresponsibility staring down at me with the fangs of T.Rex. All the Green, Tree Hugging, apt. dwellers will look at this and think. Yes! That could be me. Their eyes become glazed over with visions of rooftop fields of Lettuce, Tomatoes and Bok Choy. Trees for Christmas and two Maple Leaf trees to get Maple Syrup from and hold their hammock. In actual fact, what they will probably plant is radishes. Everyone seems to plant radishes.
Lets get back to the garden on the roof. Get serious.You can't just go out and get a ton of dirt and dump it on your roof. These gardens are for buildings that are especially designed for this purpose. If your garden isn't sitting atop a drainage system, where is the water going to go. (Now speak like a 5 yr.old.) "That's ok, the plants will drink all the water and be really healthy and we will have lots of Bok Choy." Now on to the Christmas and Maple Tree. Ever hear of roots. No, not the TV show. The things a tree has instead of feet. On TV they can walk around with them but in real life they are stuck in one place. And like most peoples waistline the roots keep growing. They grow down, into any crack in the cement they can find. The result. You will be infested with birds nests and squirrels.
Years ago, a friend of mine told me about his brother who managed an apt. building in Toronto. A tenant complained that there was water leaking from his ceiling. The mgr. figured he better go look. Sure enough, the whole ceiling was leaking water. Upstaires was a family from Pakistan so he went up to check. He knocked on the door and when it opened he noticed that the whole living room was a garden and the man was there with a hose watering it.
Saw this photo in the paper this morning. At first glance it was, "Oh my God, Alien right here in Halifax." But after a mouthfull of ♫ coffee ♫ I saw that it was just a guy living hand to mouth.
I stole that song from a Twitter friend. I'll have to fess up. Don't want to be known as a Twitter Thief. Finally broke that bagel and coffee rut I was in. Today it was toasted rye bread, banana and ♫ coffee ♫. Read the newspaper and there is no Dagwood on Sunday, so that sets the tone for the day. Dagwood will be back tomorrow, I can muddle thru till then.
An article the other day, about half a page, gushed with the benefits of a rooftop garden. I look at this as blatant irresponsibility staring down at me with the fangs of T.Rex. All the Green, Tree Hugging, apt. dwellers will look at this and think. Yes! That could be me. Their eyes become glazed over with visions of rooftop fields of Lettuce, Tomatoes and Bok Choy. Trees for Christmas and two Maple Leaf trees to get Maple Syrup from and hold their hammock. In actual fact, what they will probably plant is radishes. Everyone seems to plant radishes.
Lets get back to the garden on the roof. Get serious.You can't just go out and get a ton of dirt and dump it on your roof. These gardens are for buildings that are especially designed for this purpose. If your garden isn't sitting atop a drainage system, where is the water going to go. (Now speak like a 5 yr.old.) "That's ok, the plants will drink all the water and be really healthy and we will have lots of Bok Choy." Now on to the Christmas and Maple Tree. Ever hear of roots. No, not the TV show. The things a tree has instead of feet. On TV they can walk around with them but in real life they are stuck in one place. And like most peoples waistline the roots keep growing. They grow down, into any crack in the cement they can find. The result. You will be infested with birds nests and squirrels.
Saw this photo in the paper this morning. At first glance it was, "Oh my God, Alien right here in Halifax." But after a mouthfull of ♫ coffee ♫ I saw that it was just a guy living hand to mouth.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
On The Ark With Rocky
The weather this morning says it is going to rain for seven days. Doesn't worry me. When I built my patio, I didn't attach it to the house. Sure, my neighbours laugh, but they laughed at Noah too. So far I've signed up the next door neighbours cat.
First thing in the morning is too read the obituary column, the the tv schedule. Notice how the two are somewhat similar. A couple of nights ago, with all repeats, I watched a boxing match. I should say up front that my perception of the match was probably tainted because I watched "Rocky" the day before. It was for middleweights. 27/24 wins, 16/14 KO's, o losses. In this match arms were flying in all directions. The only knockdown was when the opponent got slapped in the back of the head. When the champ wanted to throw a punch, he leapt ahead about the lenght of two paces and threw a roundhouse. What footwork, what finesse. I say again how I am warped by Rocky and possibly wrestling, but these guys had legs like toothpicks. They should be embarassed to wear shorts. And biceps, or lack of, so as Arnold would say,"These are Girlie Men."
Spent this week working on my van. Had to do some bodywork. It's a stop and go job. Took it to the carwash yesterday, so all I have to do is clean the windows inside. So that project is finished. And the next one will be to put power into my shed. My neighbour gave me a Skil electric drill. Said someone gave it to him and that it didn't work. Thought that maybe I could fix it for myself. Easy fix. Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it. Guess I have one for the house another for the shed.
First thing in the morning is too read the obituary column, the the tv schedule. Notice how the two are somewhat similar. A couple of nights ago, with all repeats, I watched a boxing match. I should say up front that my perception of the match was probably tainted because I watched "Rocky" the day before. It was for middleweights. 27/24 wins, 16/14 KO's, o losses. In this match arms were flying in all directions. The only knockdown was when the opponent got slapped in the back of the head. When the champ wanted to throw a punch, he leapt ahead about the lenght of two paces and threw a roundhouse. What footwork, what finesse. I say again how I am warped by Rocky and possibly wrestling, but these guys had legs like toothpicks. They should be embarassed to wear shorts. And biceps, or lack of, so as Arnold would say,"These are Girlie Men."
Spent this week working on my van. Had to do some bodywork. It's a stop and go job. Took it to the carwash yesterday, so all I have to do is clean the windows inside. So that project is finished. And the next one will be to put power into my shed. My neighbour gave me a Skil electric drill. Said someone gave it to him and that it didn't work. Thought that maybe I could fix it for myself. Easy fix. Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it. Guess I have one for the house another for the shed.
Friday, July 9, 2010
My Sure Shot Wife
I think I'm in a rut. I've had a bagel and coffee four mornings in a row. That's a rut isn't it? Always read the paper first and any man type flyers. Canadian Tire had one so had to check it out. On the front page was that driveway sealer again for $19.00. Just trying to tick me off. I guess the planning dept. must have made a big blunder when they estimated how many people would do the driveway this year. Next year, they will underestimate and it will cost three times as much. Just like christmas trees. One year they are on every corner, the next year, hardly any.
Another thing I saw was a multi-knife. The big brother of the Swiss Army Knife. It comes with a sheath and you can wear it on your belt. Come on, who actually uses these things? So I walk around my back yard and see a branch that has to be cut off. But am I worried? No way. I am wearing my trusty multi-knife. I'll just flick out the saw and if I start now I could have that branch off, in say, 50 years. Even the Swiss Army Knife? You can clean your fingernails and remove some mini screws.
Now the air pistol or BB Gun is another matter. I still have a Daisy Air Rifle. When my son was young fellow, we were out shooting at a target. My wife came along and I offered to show her how, thinking "Poor woman, she'll be lucky if she hits the target." I showed her how to cock it, she laid down and Crack, Crack, Crack, six fast shots and ..........six bulls eyes. My chin dropped so far I had to roll it up. I asked her how she did that? "I don't know, I just shot it." Since she is German, I was wondering if they have a shooting gene we don't know about. Told her that the Canada Games have this sport and she should look into it. "No, I'm not interested." Reminds me that I saw a picture of her once wearing an army uniform. When I asked about it, she said it was her brothers and she just had it on for fun. I believe it. Right? Right?
When I was young, I had a BB Gun. Shot my brother Peter with it. He was hollering that he was going to tell dad. So I tried change his mind and I had to make a deal. Told him he could shoot me once and we would be even. Pretty stupid eh? Gave him the gun, started backing away, he cocked it and I took off. Crack! he got me in the soft spot behind the kneecap. So I stopped and said "I guess we're even now." He cocked it again, I took off and he emptied the clip. A few years later I gave him the gun. He went and shot everyone and everything. My dad finally took the gun and wrapped it around a tree.
Another thing I saw was a multi-knife. The big brother of the Swiss Army Knife. It comes with a sheath and you can wear it on your belt. Come on, who actually uses these things? So I walk around my back yard and see a branch that has to be cut off. But am I worried? No way. I am wearing my trusty multi-knife. I'll just flick out the saw and if I start now I could have that branch off, in say, 50 years. Even the Swiss Army Knife? You can clean your fingernails and remove some mini screws.
Now the air pistol or BB Gun is another matter. I still have a Daisy Air Rifle. When my son was young fellow, we were out shooting at a target. My wife came along and I offered to show her how, thinking "Poor woman, she'll be lucky if she hits the target." I showed her how to cock it, she laid down and Crack, Crack, Crack, six fast shots and ..........six bulls eyes. My chin dropped so far I had to roll it up. I asked her how she did that? "I don't know, I just shot it." Since she is German, I was wondering if they have a shooting gene we don't know about. Told her that the Canada Games have this sport and she should look into it. "No, I'm not interested." Reminds me that I saw a picture of her once wearing an army uniform. When I asked about it, she said it was her brothers and she just had it on for fun. I believe it. Right? Right?
When I was young, I had a BB Gun. Shot my brother Peter with it. He was hollering that he was going to tell dad. So I tried change his mind and I had to make a deal. Told him he could shoot me once and we would be even. Pretty stupid eh? Gave him the gun, started backing away, he cocked it and I took off. Crack! he got me in the soft spot behind the kneecap. So I stopped and said "I guess we're even now." He cocked it again, I took off and he emptied the clip. A few years later I gave him the gun. He went and shot everyone and everything. My dad finally took the gun and wrapped it around a tree.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
"Bulls Off and Running"
"Bulls Off and Running" That was the heading for a half page spread in the paper this morning. At first glance, it would appear to be the headline for yesterday's stock move. But no, it was bull from Spain. All I need to know about the running of the bulls. They don't just do this once, they do this for 9 days in a row. These people just have too much spanish fly. It's the start of the party season. (I didn't know it had a season.) Anyway, they drink all night and run with the bulls at 8a.m.
What surprised me the most was the number of guys over 60. It appears to be on their "Bucket List." Well, there's something that won't be going on my list. I don't have that page, "Things I should have done when I was young and stupid." Imagine if you get killed, stand before God and he says "Well old fellow, no need to ask how you got here, as you stand here with that bull horn up your ass."
There are only six bulls and six cows with a bell supposely to keep the bulls in line. I guess that it is something like taking your wife to a stag party. It only takes the bulls less than 2 1/2 min. to run the course. Perhaps men should be a little faster. Yesterdays score was Bulls 2 Men 0.
What surprised me the most was the number of guys over 60. It appears to be on their "Bucket List." Well, there's something that won't be going on my list. I don't have that page, "Things I should have done when I was young and stupid." Imagine if you get killed, stand before God and he says "Well old fellow, no need to ask how you got here, as you stand here with that bull horn up your ass."
There are only six bulls and six cows with a bell supposely to keep the bulls in line. I guess that it is something like taking your wife to a stag party. It only takes the bulls less than 2 1/2 min. to run the course. Perhaps men should be a little faster. Yesterdays score was Bulls 2 Men 0.
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